UC-NRLF 


MMD    752 


,NTHA 

ON  THE 

WOMAN  QUESTION 


IJ 


MARIETTA  HOLLEY 


SAMANTHA  ON  THE  WOMAN 
QUESTION 


And  I  wonder  if  there  is  a  woman  in  the  land  that  can  blame  Serepta 
for  wantin'  her  rights."    (See  p.  2Q.) 


SAMANTHA  ON  THE 
WOMAN  QUESTION 


BY 

MARIETTA   HOLLEY 

"  Josiah  Allen's'  Wife  " 

Author  of         ,     _  , 

"  Samantha  *t*S$urato?a,"  "  M£  Opinions  and 
,     "Betsey  Bobbet's,"  etc. 


NEW  YORK  CHICAGO  TORONTO 

Fleming   H.  Revell   Company 

LONDON  AND  EDINBURGH 


Copyright,  1913,  by 
FLEMING  H.  REVELL  COMPANY 


New  York:  158  Fifth  Avenue 
Chicago:  125  N.  Wabash  Ave. 
Toronto:  25  Richmond  St.,  W. 
London:  21  Paternoster  Square 
Edinburgh:  100  Princes  Street 


CONTENTS 

I.     "SHE  WANTED  HER  RIGHTS"         .  V 

II.     "THEY  CAN'T  BLAME  HER"    •         .  29 

III.  "POLLY'S  EYES  GROWED  TENDER"  47 

IV.  "STRIVIN'  WITH  THE  EMISSARY"      .  68 
V.     "HE  Wuz  DRETFUL  POLITE"          .  80 

VI.     "CONCERNING    MOTH-MILLERS    AND 

MINNY  FISH"      ....  100 
VII.     "No  HAMPERIN'  HITCHIN'  STRAPS"  124 
VIII.     "OLD  MOM  NATER  LISTENIN'"        .  138 
IX.     THE  WOMEN'S  PARADE    .         .         .151 
X.     "THE   CREATION    SEARCHIN'    SOCI 
ETY"    .  176 


ILLUSTRATIONS 

"  AND  I  WONDER  IP  THERE'S  A  WOMAN  IN  THE 

LAND  THAT   CAN  BLAME   SEREPTA   FOR 

WANTIN'  HER  RIGHTS  "  (p.  29)          .     Frontispiece 

FACING 
PAGE 

"I    WANTED    TO    VISIT   THE    CAPITOL    OF    OUR 

COUNTRY    ....    SO    WE    LAID    OUT  TO  GO  "  8 

4'HE5D  ENTERED  POLITICAL  LIFE  WHERE  THE 
BIBLE  WUZN'T  POPULAR  ;  HE'D  NEVER 
SEAD  FURTHER  THAN  GULLIVER'S  EPISTLE 

TO  THE  LlLlPUTIANS  "  .  .  .  .110 


JOSIAH,    '  DOES    THAT    THING    KNOW 
ENOUGH  TO  VOTE?'"  162 


"  SHE  WANTED  HER  RIGHTS  " 

ERINDA  CAGWIN  invited  Josiah 
and  me  to  a  reunion  of  the  Allen 
family  at  her  home  nigh  Washing 
ton,  D.  C.,  the  birthplace  of  the  first 
Allen  we  knowed  anything  about,  and 
Josiah  said: 

"  Bein'  one  of  the  best  lookin'  and  in 
fluential  Aliens  on  earth  now,  it  would 
be  expected  on  him  to  attend  to  it." 

And  I  fell  in  with  the  idee,  partly  to 
be  done  as  I  would  be  done  by  if  it  wuz 
the  relation  on  my  side,  and  partly  be 
cause  by  goin'  I  could  hit  two  birds  with 
one  stun,  as  the  poet  sez.  Indeed,  I 
could  hit  four  on  'em. 

My  own  cousin,  Diantha  Trimble, 
lived  in  a  city  nigh  Lorinda's  and  I  had 


.;8-;  .S&mantha  -on  the  Woman  Question 

promised  to  visit  her  if  I  wuz  ever  nigh 
her,  and  help  bear  her  burdens  for  a 
spell,  of  which  burden  more  anon  and 
borne-by. 

Diantha  wuz  one  bird,  the  Reunion 
another,  and  the  third  bird  I  had  in  my 
mind's  eye  wuz  the  big  outdoor  meeting 
of  the  suffragists  that  wuz  to  be  held  in 
the  city  where  Diantha  lived,  only  a  little 
ways  from  Lorinda's. 

And  the  fourth  bird  and  the  biggest 
one  I  wuz  aimin'  to  hit  from  this  tower 
of  ourn  wuz  Washington,  D.  C.  I 
wanted  to  visit  the  Capitol  of  our  coun 
try,  the  center  of  our  great  civilization 
that  stands  like  the  sun  in  the  solar 
system,  sendin'  out  beams  of  power  and 
wisdom  and  law  and  order,  and  justice 
and  injustice,  and  money  and  oratory, 
and  talk  and  talk,  and  wind  and  every 
thing,  to  the  uttermost  points  of  our  vast 
possessions,  and  from  them  clear  to  the 
ends  of  the  earth.  I  wanted  to  see  it,  I 


"  She  Wanted  Her  Rights  "         9 

wanted  to  like  a  dog.  So  we  laid  out 
to  go. 

Lorinda  lived  on  the  old  Allen  place, 
and  I  always  sot  store  by  her,  and  her 
girl,  Polly,  wuz,  as  Thomas  J.  said,  a 
peach.  She  had  spent  one  of  her  college 
vacations  with  us,  and  a  sweeter,  pret 
tier,  brighter  girl  I  don't  want  to  see. 
Her  name  is  Pauline,  but  everybody 
calls  her  Polly. 

The  Cagwins  are  rich,  and  Polly  had 
every  advantage  money  could  give,  and 
old  Mom  Nater  gin  her  a  lot  of  advan 
tages  money  couldn't  buy,  beauty  and  in 
tellect,  a  big  generous  heart  and  charm. 
And  you  know  the  Cagwins  couldn't 
bought  that  at  no  price.  Charm  in  a  girl 
is  like  the  perfume  in  a  rose,  and  can't 
be  bought  or  sold.  And  you  can't  han 
dle  or  describe  either  on  'em  exactly. 
But  what  a  influence  they  have;  how 
they  lay  holt  of  your  heart  and 
fancy. 


10  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

Royal  Gray,  the  young  man  who  wuz 
payin'  attention  to  her,  stopped  once  for 
a  day  or  two  in  Jonesville  with  Polly 
and  her  Ma  on  their  way  to  the  Cag- 
wins'  camp  in  the  Adirendecks.  And 
we  all  liked  him  so  well  that  we  agreed 
in  givin'  him  this  extraordinary  praise, 
we  said  he  wuz  wrorthy  of  Polly,  we 
knowed  of  course  that  wuz  the  highest 
enconium  possible  for  us  to  give. 

Good  lookin',  smart  as  a  whip,  and 
deep,  you  could  see  that  by  lookin' 
into  his  eyes,  half  laughin'  and  half 
serious  eyes  and  kinder  sad  lookin'  too 
under  the  fun,  as  eyes  must  be  in  this 
world  of  ourn  if  they  look  back  fur,  or 
ahead  much  of  any.  A  queer  world  this 
is,  and  kinder  sad  and  mysterious,  be 
hind  all  the  good  and  glory  on't. 

He  wuz  jest  out  of  Harvard  school 
and  as  full  of  life  and  sperits  as  a  colt 
let  loose  in  a  clover  field.  He  went  out 
in  the  hay  field,  he  and  Polly,  and  rode 


"  She  Wanted  Her  Rights  "       11 

home  on  top  of  a  load  of  hay  jest  as 
nateral  and  easy  and  bare-headed  as  if 
he  wuz  workin'  for  wages,  and  he  the 
only  son  of  a  millionaire — we  all  took 
to  him. 

Well,  when  the  news  got  out  that  I 
wuz  goin'  to  visit  Washington,  D.  C., 
all  the  neighbors  wanted  to  send  errents 
by  me.  Betsy  Bobbet  Slimpsey  wanted 
a  dozen  Patent  Office  books  for  scrap 
books  for  her  poetry. 

Uncle  Nate  Gowdey  wanted  me  to  go 
to  the  Agricultural  Buro  and  git  him  a 
paper  of  lettuce  seed.  And  Solomon 
Sypher  wanted  me  to  git  him  a  new 
kind  of  string  beans  and  some  cow- 
cumber  seeds. 

Uncle  Jarvis  Bentley,  who  wuz  goin' 
to  paint  his  house,  wanted  me  to  ask  the 
President  what  kind  of  paint  he  used  on 
the  White  House.  He  thought  it  ort 
to  be  a  extra  kind  to  stand  the  sharp 
glare  that  wuz  beatin'  down  on  it  con- 


12  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

stant,  and  to  ask  him  if  he  didn't  think 
the  paint  would  last  longer  and  the  glare 
be  mollified  some  if  they  used  pure  white 
and  clear  ile  in  it,  and  left  off  white 
wash  and  karseen. 

Ardelia  Rumsey,  who  is  goin'  to  be 
married,  wanted  me,  if  I  see  any  new 
kinds  of  bedquilt  patterns  at  the  White 
House  or  the  Senator's  housen,  to  git 
patterns  for  'em.  She  said  she  wuz  sick 
of  sun  flowers  and  blazin'  stars.  She 
thought  mebby  they'd  have  sunthin'  new, 
spread  eagle  style.  She  said  her  feller 
wuz  goin'  to  be  connected  with  the  Gov- 
ermunt  and  she  thought  it  would  be 
appropriate. 

And  I  asked  her  how.  And  she  said 
he  wuz  goin'  to  git  a  patent  on  a  new 
kind  of  jack  knife,. 

I  told  her  that  if  she  wanted  a  gover- 
munt  quilt  and  wanted  it  appropriate  she 
ort  to  have  a  crazy  quilt. 

And  she  said  she  had  jest  finished  a 


"  She  Wanted  Her  Rights  "       13 

crazy  quilt  with  seven  thousand  pieces 
of  silk  in  it,  and  each  piece  trimmed 
with  seven  hundred  stitches  of  feather 
stitchin' — she'd  counted  'em.  And  then 
I  remembered  seein'  it.  There  wuz  a 
petition  fer  wimmen's  rights  and  I  re 
member  Ardelia  couldn't  sign  it  for  lack 
of  time.  She  wanted  to,  but  she  hadn't 
got  the  quilt  more  than  half  done.  It 
took  the  biggest  heft  of  two  years  to  do 
it.  And  so  less  important  things  had 
to  be  put  aside. 

And  Ardelia's  mother  wanted  to  sign 
it,  but  she  couldn't  owin'  to  a  bed-spread 
she  wuz  makin'.  She  wuz  quilt  in'  in 
Noah's  Ark  and  all  the  animals  on  a 
Turkey  red  quilt.  I  remember  she  wuz 
quiltin'  the  camel  that  day  and  couldn't 
be  disturbed,  so  we  didn't  git  the  names. 
It  took  the  old  lady  three  years,  and 
when  it  wuz  done  it  wuz  a  sight  to  be 
hold,  though  I  wouldn't  want  to  sleep 
under  so  many  animals.  But  folks  went 


14  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

from  fur  and  near  to  see  it,  and  I  en 
joyed  lookin'  at  it  that  day. 

Zebulin  Coon  wanted  me  to  carry  a 
new  hen  coop  of  hisen  to  git  patented. 
And  I  thought  to  myself  I  wonder  if 
they  will  ask  me  to  carry  a  cow. 

And  sure  enough  Elnathan  Purdy 
wanted  me  to  dicker  for  a  calf  from 
Mount  Vernon,  swop  one  of  his  yearlin's 
for  it. 

But  the  errents  Serepta  Pester  sent 
wuz  fur  more  hefty  and  momentous  than 
all  the  rest  put  together,  calves,  hen 
coop,  cow  and  all. 

And  when  she  told  'em  over  to  me, 
and  I  meditated  on  her  reasons  for 
sendin'  'em  and  her  need  of  havin'  'em 
clone,  I  felt  that  I  would  do  the  errents 
for  her  if  a  breath  wuz  left  in  my  body. 
She  come  for  a  all  day's  visit;  and 
though  she  is  a  vegetable  widow  and 
hombly,  I  wuz  middlin'  glad  to  see  her. 
But  thinkses  I  as  I  carried  her  things 


"  She  Wanted  Her  Rights  "       15 

into  my  bedroom,  "  She'll  want  to  send 
some  errent  by  me  " ;  and  I  wondered 
what  it  would  be. 

And  so  it  didn't  surprise  me  when 
she  asked  me  if  I  would  lobby  a  little 
for  her  in  Washington.  I  spozed  it  wuz 
some  new  kind  of  tattin'  or  fancy  work. 
I  told  her  I  shouldn't  have  much  time 
but  would  try  to  git  her  some  if  I 
could. 

And  she  said  she  wanted  me  to  lobby 
myself.  And  then  I  thought  mebby  it 
wuz  a  new  kind  of  dance  and  told  her, 
"  I  wuz  too  old  to  lobby,  I  hadn't  lob 
bied  a  step  since  I  wuz  married." 

And  then  she  explained  she  wanted  me 
to  canvas  some  of  the  Senators. 

And  I  hung  back  and  asked  her  in  a 
cautious  tone,  "  How  many  she  wanted 
canvassed,  and  how  much  canvas  it  would 
take?" 

I  had  a  good  many  things  to  buy  for 
my  tower,  and  though  I  wanted  to 


16  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

obleege  Serepta,  I  didn't  feel  like  run- 
nin'  into  any  great  expense  for  canvas. 

And  then  she  broke  off  from  that  sub 
ject,  and  said  she  wanted  her  rights  and 
wanted  the  Whiskey  Ring  broke  up. 

And  she  talked  a  sight  about  her  chil 
dren,  and  how  bad  she  felt  to  be  parted 
from  'em,  and  how  she  used  to  worship 
her  husband  and  how  her  hull  life  wuz 
ruined  and  the  Whiskey  Ring  had  done 
it,  that  and  wimmen's  helpless  condition 
under  the  law  and  she  cried  and  wep' 
and  I  did.  And  right  while  I  wuz  cryin' 
onto  that  gingham  apron,  she  made  me 
promise  to  carry  them  two  errents  of 
hern  to  the  President  and  git  'em  done 
for  her  if  I  possibly  could. 

She  wanted  the  Whiskey  Ring  de 
stroyed  and  her  rights,  and  she  wanted 
'em  both  inside  of  two  weeks. 

I  told  her  I  didn't  believe  she  could 
git  'em  done  inside  that  length  of  time, 
but  I  would  tell  the  President  about  it, 


"  She  Wanted  Her  Rights  "       17 

and  I  thought  more'n  likely  as  not  he 
would  want  to  do  right  by  her.  "  And," 
sez  I,  "  if  he  sets  out  to,  he  can  haul 
them  babies  of  yourn  out  of  that  Ring 
pretty  sudden." 

And  then  to  git  her  mind  offen  her 
sufferin's,  I  asked  how  her  sister  Azuba 
wuz  gittin'  along?  I  hadn't  heard  from 
her  for  years.  She  married  Phileman 
Clapsaddle,  and  Serepty  spoke  out  as 
bitter  as  a  bitter  walnut,  and  sez  she: 

"  She's  in  the  poor-house." 

"  Why,  Serepta  Pester!  "  sez  I,  "  what 
do  you  mean? " 

"  I  mean  what  I  say,  my  sister,  Azuba 
Clapsaddle,  is  in  the  poor-house." 

"  Why,  where  is  their  property  gone?  " 
sez  I.  "  They  wuz  well  off.  Azuba  had 
five  thousand  dollars  of  her  own  when 
she  married  him." 

"  I  know  it,"  sez  she,  "  and  I  can  tell 
you,  Josiah  Allen's  wife,  where  their 
property  has  gone,  it  has  gone  down 


18  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

Phileman  Clapsaddle's  throat.  Look 
down  that  man's  throat  and  you  will  see 
150  acres  of  land,  a  good  house  and  barn, 
twenty  sheep  and  forty  head  of  cattle." 

"Why-ee!"  sez  I. 

8  Yes,  and  you'll  see  four  mules,  a 
span  of  horses,  two  buggies,  a  double 
sleigh,  and  three  buffalo  robes.  He's 
drinked  'em  all  up,  and  two  horse  rakes, 
a  cultivator,  and  a  thrashin'  machine." 

"Why-ee!"  sez  I  agin.  "And  where 
are  the  children? " 

"  The  boys  have  inherited  their  father's 
habits  and  drink  as  bad  as  he  duz  and 
the  oldest  girl  has  gone  to  the  bad." 

"Oh  dear!  oh  dear  me!"  sez  I,  and 
we  both  sot  silent  for  a  spell.  And 
then  thinkin'  I  must  say  sunthin'  and 
wantin'  to  strike  a  safe  subject  and  a 
good  lookin'  one,  I  sez: 

"  Where  is  your  Aunt  Cassandra's 
girl?  That  pretty  girl  I  see  to  your 
house  once?" 


"  She  Wanted  Her  Rights  "       19 

'  That  girl  is  in  the  lunatick  asy 
lum." 

"  Serepta  Pester,"  sez  I,  "  be  you 
tellin'  the  truth?" 

"  Yes,  I  be,  the  livin'  truth.  She  went 
to  New  York  to  buy  millinery  goods  for 
her  mother's  store.  It  wuz  quite  cool 
when  she  left  home  and  she  hadn't  took 
off  her  winter  clothes,  and  it  come  on 
brilin'  hot  in  the  city,  and  in  goin'  about 
from  store  to  store  the  heat  and  hard 
work  overcome  her  and  she  fell  down 
in  a  sort  of  faintin'  fit  and  wuz  called 
drunk  and  dragged  off  to  a  police  court 
by  a  man  who  wuz  a  animal  in  human 
shape.  And  he  misused  her  in  such  a 
way  that  she  never  got  over  the  horror 
of  what  befell  her  when  she  come  to  to 
find  herself  at  the  mercy  of  a  brute  in 
a  man's  shape.  She  went  into  a  melan 
choly  madness  and  wuz  sent  to  the 
asylum." 

I  sithed  a  long  and  mournful  sithe  and 


20  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

sot  silent  agin  for  quite  a  spell.  But 
thinkin'  I  must  be  sociable  I  sez: 

'  Your  aunt  Cassandra  is  well,  I 
spoze?" 

"  She  is  moulderin'  in  jail,"  sez  she. 

"In  jail?     Cassandra  in  jail!" 

"  Yes,  in  jail."  And  Serepta's  tone 
wuz  now  like  worm-wood  and  gall. 

'  You  know  she  owns  a  big  property 
in  tenement  houses  and  other  buildings 
where  she  lives.  Of  course  her  taxes 
wuz  awful  high,  and  she  didn't  expect 
to  have  any  voice  in  tellin'  how  that 
money,  a  part  of  her  own  property  that 
she  earned  herself  in  a  store,  should  be 
used.  But  she  had  been  taxed  high  for 
new  sidewalks  in  front  of  some  of  her 
buildin's.  And  then  another  man  come 
into  power  in  that  ward,  and  he  naterally 
wanted  to  make  some  money  out  of  her, 
so  he  ordered  her  to  build  new  side 
walks.  And  she  wouldn't  tear  up  a  good 
sidewalk  to  please  him  or  anybody  else, 


"  She  Wanted  Her  Rights  "       21 

so  she  wuz  put  to  jail  for  refusin'  to 
comply  with  the  law." 

Thinkses  I,  I  don't  believe  the  law 
would  have  been  so  hard  on  her  if  she 
hadn't  been  so  hombly.  The  Pesters 
are  a  hombly  lot.  But  I  didn't  think 
it  out  loud,  and  didn't  ophold  the  law 
for  feelin'  so.  I  sez  in  pityin'  tones,  for 
I  wuz  truly  sorry  for  Cassandra  Keeler: 

"How  did  it  end?" 

"  It  hain't  ended,"  sez  she,  "  it  only 
took  place  a  month  ago  and  she  has  got 
her  grit  up  and  won't  pay;  and  no  know- 
in'  how  it  will  end;  she  lays  there  a- 
moulderin'." 

I  don't  believe  Cassanda  wuz  mouldy, 
but  that  is  Serepta's  way  of  talkin',  very 
flowery. 

"Well,"  sez  I,  "do  you  think  the 
weather  is  goin'  to  moderate? " 

I  truly  felt  that  I  dassent  speak  to 
her  about  any  human  bein'  under  the 
sun,  not  knowin'  what  turn  she  would 


22  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

give  to  the  talk,  bein'  so  embittered.  But 
I  felt  that  the  weather  wuz  safe,  and 
cotton  stockin's,  and  hens,  and  factory 
cloth,  and  I  kep'  her  down  on  them  for 
more'n  two  hours. 

But  good  land!  I  can't  blame  her  for 
bein'  embittered  agin  men  and  the  laws 
thej^'ve  made,  for  it  seems  as  if  I  never 
see  a  human  creeter  so  afflicted  as 
Serepta  Pester  has  been  all  her  life. 

Why,  her  sufferin's  date  back  before 
she  wuz  born,  and  that's  goin'  pretty  fur 
back.  Her  father  and  mother  had  some 
difficulty  and  he  wuz  took  down  with 
billerous  colick,  voylent  four  weeks  be 
fore  Serepta  wuz  born.  And  some  think 
it  wuz  the  hardness  between  'em  and 
some  think  it  wuz  the  gripin'  of  the  colick 
when  he  made  his  will,  anyway  he  willed 
Serepta  away,  boy  or  girl  whichever  it 
wuz,  to  his  brother  up  on  the  Canada 
line. 

So  when  Serepta  wuz  born  (and  born 


"  She  Wanted  Her  Rights  "       23 

a  girl  entirely  onbeknown  to  her)  she 
wuz  took  right  away  from  her  mother 
and  gin  to  this  brother.  Her  mother 
couldn't  help  herself,  he  had  the  law  on 
his  side.  But  it  killed  her.  She  drooped 
away  and  died  before  the  baby  wuz  a 
year  old.  She  wuz  a  affectionate,  tender 
hearted  woman  and  her  husband  wuz 
overbearin'  and  stern  always. 

But  it  wuz  this  last  move  of  hisen  that 
killed  her,  for  it  is  pretty  tough  on  a 
mother  to  have  her  baby,  a  part  of  her 
own  life,  took  right  out  of  her  own  arms 
and  gin  to  a  stranger.  For  this  uncle 
of  hern  wuz  a  entire  stranger  to  Serepta, 
and  almost  like  a  stranger  to  her  father, 
for  he  hadn't  seen  him  since  he  wuz  a 
boy,  but  knew  he  hadn't  any  children 
and  spozed  that  he  wuz  rich  and  re 
spectable.  But  the  truth  wuz  he  had 
been  runnin'  down  every  way,  had  lost 
his  property  and  his  character,  wuz  dis 
sipated  and  mean.  But  the  will  wuz 


24  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

made  and  the  law  stood.  Men  are 
ashamed  now  to  think  that  the  law  wuz 
ever  in  voge,  but  it  wuz,  and  is  now  in 
some  of  the  states,  and  the  poor  young 
mother  couldn't  help  herself.  It  has  al 
ways  been  the  boast  of  our  American 
law  that  it  takes  care  of  wimmen.  It 
took  care  of  her.  It  held  her  in  its 
strong  protectin'  grasp  so  tight  that  the 
only  way  she  could  slip  out  of  it  wuz 
to  drop  into  the  grave,  which  she  did  in 
a  few  months.  Then  it  leggo. 

But  it  kep'  holt  of  Serepta,  it  bound 
her  tight  to  her  uncle  while  he  run 
through  with  what  property  she  had, 
while  he  sunk  lower  and  lower  until  at 
last  he  needed  the  very  necessaries  of 
life  and  then  he  bound  her  out  to  work 
to  a  woman  who  kep'  a  drinkin'  den  and 
the  lowest  hant  of  vice. 

Twice  Serepta  run  away,  bein'  vir 
tuous  but  hombly,  but  them  strong  pro 
tectin'  arms  of  the  law  that  had  held 


"  She  Wanted  Her  Rights  "       25 

her  mother  so  tight  reached  out  and 
dragged  her  back  agin.  Upheld  by  them 
her  uncle  could  compel  her  to  give  her 
service  wherever  he  wanted  her  to  work, 
and  he  wuz  owin'  this  wroman  and  she 
wanted  Serepta's  \vork,  so  she  had  to 
submit. 

But  the  third  time  she  made  a  effort 
so  voyalent  that  she  got  away.  A  good 
woman,  who  bein'  nothin'  but  a  woman 
couldn't  do  anything  towards  onclinchin' 
them  powerful  arms  that  wuz  protectin' 
her,  helped  her  to  slip  through  'em.  And 
Serepta  come  to  Jones ville  to  live  with 
a  sister  of  that  good  woman;  changed 
her  name  so's  it  wouldn't  be  so  easy  to 
find  her;  grew  up  to  be  a  nice  indus 
trious  girl.  And  when  the  woman  she 
wuz  took  by  died  she  left  Serepta  quite 
a  handsome  property. 

And  finally  she  married  Lank  Burpee, 
and  did  considerable  well  it  wuz  spozed. 
Her  property,  put  with  what  little  he 


26  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

had,  made  'em  a  comfortable  home  and 
they  had  two  pretty  children,  a  boy  and 
a  girl.  But  when  the  little  girl  wuz  a 
baby  he  took  to  drinkin',  neglected  his 
bizness,  got  mixed  up  with  a  whiskejr 
ring,  whipped  Serepta — not  so  very  hard. 
He  went  accordin'  to  law,  and  the  law 
of  the  United  States  don't  approve  of  a 
man's  whippin'  his  wife  enough  to  en 
danger  her  life,  it  sez  it  don't.  He  made 
every  move  of  hisen  lawful  and  felt  that 
Serepta  hadn't  ort  to  complain  and  feel 
hurt.  But  a  good  whippin'  will  make 
anybody  feel  hurt,  law  or  no  law.  And 
then  he  parted  with  her  and  got  her 
property  and  her  two  little  children. 
Why,  it  seemed  as  if  everything  under 
the  sun  and  moon,  that  could  happen  to 
a  woman,  had  happened  to  Serepta, 
painful  things  and  gauldin'. 

Jest  before  Lank  parted  with  her,  she 
fell  on  a  broken  sidewalk:  some  think 
he  tripped  her  up,  but  it  never  wuz 


"  She  Wanted  Her  Rights  "       27 

proved.  But  anyway  Serepta  fell  and 
broke  her  hip  bone;  and  her  husband 
sued  the  corporation  and  got  ten  thou 
sand  dollars  for  it.  Of  course  the  law 
give  the  money  to  him  and  she  never 
got  a  cent  of  it.  But  she  wouldn't  have 
made  any  fuss  over  that,  knowin'  that 
the  law  of  the  United  States  wuz  such. 
But  what  made  it  so  awful  mortifyin' 
to  her  wuz,  that  while  she  wuz  layin' 
there  achin'  in  splints,  he  took  that  very 
money  and  used  it  to  court  up  another 
woman  with.  Gin  her  presents,  jewelry, 
bunnets,  head-dresses,  artificial  flowers 
out  of  Serepta's  own  hip  money. 

And  I  don't  know  as  anything  could 
be  much  more  gauldin'  to  a  woman  than 
that — while  she  lay  there  groanin'  in 
splints,  to  have  her  husband  take  the 
money  for  her  own  broken  bones  and 
dress  up  another  woman  like  a  doll  with 
it. 

But  the  law  gin  it  to  him,  and  he  wuz 


28  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

only  availin'  himself  of  the  glorious  lib 
erty  of  our  free  Republic,  and  doin'  as 
he  wuz  a  mind  to.  And  it  wuz  spozed 
that  that  very  hip  money  wuz  what  made 
the  match.  For  before  she  wuz  fairly 
out  of  splints  he  got  a  divorce  from  her 
and  married  agin.  And  by  the  help  of 
Serepta's  hip  money  and  the  Whiskey 
Ring  he  got  her  two  little  children  away 
from  her. 


II 

THEY  CAN'T  BLAME  HER 


ATD  I  wonder  if  there  is  a  woman 
in  the  land  that  can  blame  Serepta 
for  gittin'  mad  and  wantin'  her 
rights  and  wantin'  the  Whiskey  Ring 
broke  up,  when  they  think  how  she's 
been  fooled  round  with  by  men;  willed 
away,  and  whipped,  and  parted  with, 
and  stole  from.  Why,  they  can't  blame 
her  for  feelin'  fairly  savage  about  'em, 
as  she  duz. 

For  as  she  sez  to  me  once,  when  we 
wuz  talkin'  it  over,  how  everything  had 
happened  to  her.  "  Yes,"  sez  she,  with 
a  axent  like  bone-set  and  vinegar,  "  and 
what  few  things  hain't  happened  to  me 
has  happened  to  my  folks." 

And  sure   enough   I  couldn't   dispute, 


30  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

her.  Trouble  and  wrongs  and  sufferin's 
seemed  to  be  epidemic  in  the  race  of 
Pester  wimmen.  Why,  one  of  her  aunts 
on  her  father's  side,  Huldah  Pester,  mar 
ried  for  her  first  husband,  Eliphelet  Per 
kins.  He  wuz  a  minister,  rode  on  a  cir 
cuit,  and  he  took  Huldah  on  it  too,  and 
she  rode  round  with  him  on  it  a  good 
deal  of  the  time.  But  she  never  loved 
to,  she  wuz  a  woman  that  loved  to  be 
still,  and  kinder  settled  down  at  home. 

But  she  loved  Eliphelet  so  well  that 
she  would  do  anything  to  please  him,  so 
she  rode  round  with  him  on  that  circuit 
till  she  wuz  perfectly  fagged  out. 

He  wuz  a  dretful  good  man  to  her, 
but  he  wuz  kinder  poor  and  they  had 
hard  times  to  git  along.  But  what  prop 
erty  they  had  wuzn't  taxed,  so  that 
helped  some,  and  Huldah  would  make 
one  dollar  go  a  good  ways. 

No,  their  property  wuzn't  taxed  till 
Eliphelet  died.  Then  the  supervisor 


"  They  Can't  Blame  Her  "        31 

taxed  it  the  very  minute  the  breath  left 
his  body;  run  his  horse,  so  it  wuz  said, 
so's  to  be  sure  to  git  it  onto  the  tax  list, 
and  comply  with  the  law. 

You  see  Eliphelet's  salary  stopped 
when  his  breath  did.  And  I  spoze  the 
law  thought,  seein'  she  wuz  havin'  trou 
ble,  she  might  jest  as  well  have  a  little 
more;  so  it  taxed  all  the  property  it 
never  had  taxed  a  cent  for  before. 

But  she  had  this  to  console  her  that 
the  law  didn't  forgit  her  in  her  widow 
hood.  No;  the  law  is  quite  thoughtful 
of  wimmen  by  spells.  It  sez  it  protects 
wimmen.  And  I  spoze  that  in  some 
mysterious  way,  too  deep  for  wimmen 
to  understand,  it  wuz  protectin'  her  now. 

Well,  she  suffered  along  and  finally 
married  agin.  I  wondered  why  she  did. 
But  she  wuz  such  a  quiet,  home-lovin' 
woman  that  it  wuz  spozed  she  wanted  to 
settle  down  and  be  kinder  still  and  sot. 
But  of  all  the  bad  luck  she  had.  She 


32  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

married  on  short  acquaintance,  and  he 
proved  to  be  a  perfect  wanderer.  He 
couldn't  keep  still,  it  wuz  spozed  to  be 
a  mark. 

He  moved  Huldah  thirteen  times  in 
two  years,  and  at  last  he  took  her  into 
a  cart,  a  sort  of  covered  wagon,  and 
traveled  right  through  the  western  states 
with  her.  He  wanted  to  see  the  country 
and  loved  to  live  in  the  wagon,  it  wuz 
his  make.  And,  of  course,  the  law  give 
him  control  of  her  body,  and  she  had  to 
go  where  he  moved  it,  or  else  part  with 
him.  And  I  spoze  the  law  thought  it 
wuz  guardin'  and  nourishin'  her  when 
it  wuz  joltin'  her  over  them  prairies  and 
mountains  and  abysses.  But  it  jest  kep' 
her  shook  up  the  hull  of  the  time. 

It  wuz  the  regular  Pester  luck. 

And  then  another  of  her  aunts,  Dru- 
silly  Pester,  married  a  industrious,  hard- 
workin'  man,  one  that  never  drinked, 
wuz  sound  on  the  doctrines,  and  give 


'  They  Can't  Blame  Her  "        33 

good  measure  to  his  customers,  he  wuz 
a  groceryman.  And  a  master  hand  for 
wantin'  to  foller  the  laws  of  his  country 
as  tight  as  laws  could  be  follered.  And 
so  knowin'  that  the  law  approved  of 
moderate  correction  for  wimmen,  and 
that  "  a  man  might  whip  his  wife,  but 
not  enough  to  endanger  her  life " ;  he 
bein'  such  a  master  hand  for  wantin'  to 
do  everything  faithful  and  do  his  very 
best  for  his  customers,  it  wuz  spozed  he 
wanted  to  do  the  best  for  the  law,  and 
so  when  he  got  to  whippin'  Drusilly,  he 
would  whip  her  too  severe,  he  would  be 
too  faithful  to  it. 

You  see  what  made  him  whip  her  at 
all  wuz  she  wuz  cross  to  him.  They 
had  nine  little  children,  she  thought  two 
or  three  children  would  be  about  all  one 
woman  could  bring  up  well  by  hand, 
when  that  hand  wuz  so  stiff  and  sore 
with  hard  work. 

But  he  had  read   some   scareful   talk 


34  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

from  high  quarters  about  Race  Suicide. 
Some  men  do  git  real  wrought  up  about 
it  and  want  everybody  to  have  all  the 
children  they  can,  jest  as  fast  as  they 
can,  though  wimmen  don't  all  feel 
so. 

Aunt  Hetty  Sidman  said,  "  If  men 
had  to  born  'em  and  nuss  'em  themselves, 
she  didn't  spoze  they  would  be  so  en- 
thusiastick  about  it  after  they  had  had 
a  few,  'specially  if  they  done  their  own 
housework  themselves,"  and  Aunt  Hetty 
said  that  some  of  the  men  who  wuz  ex- 
hortin'  wimmen  to  have  big  families,  had 
better  spend  some  of  their  strength  and 
wind  in  tryin'  to  make  this  world  a 
safer  place  for  children  to  be  born  into. 

She  said  they'd  be  better  off  in  Non 
entity  than  here  in  this  world  with  sa 
loons  on  every  corner,  and  war-dogs 
howlin'  at  'em. 

I  don't  know  exactly  what  she  meant 
by  Nonentity,  but  guess  she  meant  the 


"They  Can't  Blame  Her"        35 

world  we  all  stay  in,  before  we  are  born 
into  this  one. 

Aunt  Hetty  has  lost  five  boys,  two 
by  battle  and  three  by  licensed  saloons, 
that  makes  her  talk  real  bitter,  but  to 
resoom.  I  told  Josiah  that  men  needn't 
worry  about  Race  Suicide,  for  you  might 
as  well  try  to  stop  a  hen  from  makin'  a 
nest,  as  to  stop  wimmen  from  wan  tin' 
a  baby  to  love  and  hold  on  her  heart. 
But  sez  I,  "  Folks  ort  to  be  moderate 
and  mejum  in  babies  as  well  as  in  every 
thing  else." 

But  Drusilly's  husband  wanted  twelve 
boys  he  said,  to  be  law-abidin'  citizens  as 
their  Pa  wuz,  and  a  protection  to  the 
Govermunt,  and  to  be  ready  to  man  the 
new  worships,  if  a  war  broke  out.  But 
her  babies  wuz  real  pretty  and  cunning, 
and  she  wuz  so  weak-minded  she  couldn't 
enjoy  the  thought  that  if  our  male  states 
men  got  to  scrappin'  with  some  other 
nation's  male  law-makers  and  made  an- 


36  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

other  war,  of  havin'  her  grown-up  babies 
face  the  cannons.  I  spoze  it  wuz  when 
she  wuz  so  awful  tired  she  felt  so. 

You  see  she  had  to  do  every  mite  of 
her  housework,  and  milk  cows,  and  make 
butter  and  cheese,  and  cook  and  wash 
and  scour,  and  take  all  the  care  of  the 
children  day  and  night  in  sickness  and 
health,  and  make  their  clothes  and  keep 
'em  clean.  And  when  there  wuz  so  many 
of  'em  and  she  enjoyin'  real  poor  health, 
I  spoze  she  sometimes  thought  more  of 
her  own  achin'  back  than  she  did  of  the 
good  of  the  Govermunt — and  she  would 
git  kinder  discouraged  sometimes  and  be 
cross  to  him.  And  knowin'  his  own  mo 
tives  wuz  so  high  and  loyal,  he  felt  that 
he  ort  to  whip  her,  so  he  did. 

And  what  shows  that  Drusilly  wuzn't 
so  bad  after  all  and  did  have  her  good 
streaks  and  a  deep  reverence  for  the  law 
is,  that  she  stood  his  whippin's  first-rate, 
and  never  whipped  him.  Now  she  wuz 


"  They  Can't  Blame  Her  "        37 

fur  bigger  than  he  wuz,  weighed  eighty 
pounds  the  most,  and  might  have 
whipped  him  if  the  law  had  been  such. 
But  they  wuz  both  law-abidin'  and 
wanted  to  keep  every  preamble,  so  she 
stood  it  to  be  whipped,  and  never  once 
whipped  him  in  all  the  seventeen  years 
they  lived  together.  She  died  when  her 
twelfth  child  wuz  born.  There  wuz  jest 
ten  months  difference  between  that  and 
the  one  next  older.  And  they  said  she 
often  spoke  out  in  her  last  sickness,  and 
said,  "  Thank  fortune,  I've  always  kep' 
the  law!"  And  they  said  the  same 
thought  wuz  a  great  comfort  to  him  in 
his  last  moments.  He  died  about  a  year 
after  she  did,  leavin'  his  second  wife  with 
twins  and  a  good  property. 

Then  there  wuz  Abagail  Pester.  She 
married  a  sort  of  a  high-headed  man, 
though  one  that  paid  his  debts,  wuz 
truthful,  good  lookin',  and  played  well 
on  the  fiddle.  Why,  it  seemed  as  if  he 


38  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

had  almost  every  qualification  for  makin' 
a  woman  happy,  only  he  had  this  one 
little  eccentricity,  he  would  lock  up  Aba- 
gail's  clothes  every  time  he  got  mad  at 
her. 

Of  course  the  law  give  her  clothes  to 
him,  and  knowin'  that  it  wuz  the  law 
in  the  state  where  they  lived,  she 
wouldn't  have  complained  only  when 
they  had  company.  But  it  wuz  morti- 
fyin',  nobody  could  dispute  it,  to  have 
company  come  and  have  nothin'  to  put 
on.  Several  times  she  had  to  withdraw 
into  the  woodhouse,  and  stay  most  all 
day  there  shiverin',  and  under  the  suller 
stairs  and  round  in  clothes  presses.  But 
he  boasted  in  prayer  meetin's  and  on 
boxes  before  grocery  stores  that  he  wuz 
a  law-abidin'  citizen,  and  he  wuz.  Eben 
Flanders  wouldn't  lie  for  anybody. 

But  I'll  bet  Abagail  Flanders  beat 
our  old  revolutionary  four-mothers  in 
thinkin'  out  new  laws,  when  she  lay 


'They  Can't  Blame  Her"        39 

round  under  stairs  and  behind  barrels 
in  her  night-gown.  When  a  man  hides 
his  wife's  stockin's  and  petticoats  it  is 
governin'  without  the  consent  of  the 
governed.  If  you  don't  believe  it  you'd 
ort  to  peeked  round  them  barrels  and 
seen  Abagail's  eyes,  they  had  hull  reams 
of  by-laws  in  'em  and  preambles,  and 
Declarations  of  Independence,  so  I've 
been  told.  But  it  beat  everything  I  ever 
hearn  on,  the  lawful  sufferin's  of  them 
wimmen.  For  there  wuzn't  nothin'  il 
legal  about  one  single  trouble  of  theirn. 
They  suffered  accordin'  to  law,  every  one 
on  'em.  But  it  wuz  tuff  for  'em,  very 
tuff.  And  their  bein'  so  dretful  hombly 
wuz  another  drawback  to  'em,  though 
that  too  wuz  perfectly  lawful,  as  every 
body  knowrs. 

And  Serepta  looked  as  bad  agin  as  she 
would  otherwise  on  account  of  her  teeth. 
It  wuz  after  Lank  had  begun  to  git 
after  this  other  woman,  and  wuz  indif- 


40  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

ferent  to  his  wife's  looks  that  Serepta 
had  a  new  set  of  teeth  on  her  upper  jaw. 
And  they  sot  out  and  made  her  look  so 
bad  it  fairly  made  her  ache  to  look  at 
herself  in  the  glass.  And  they  hurt  her 
gooms  too,  and  she  carried  'em  back  to 
the  dentist  and  wanted  him  to  make  her 
another  set,  but  he  acted  mean  and 
wouldn't  take  'em  back,  and  sued  Lank 
for  the  pay.  And  they  had  a  law-suit. 
And  the  law  bein'  such  that  a  woman 
can't  testify  in  court,  in  any  matter  that 
is  of  mutual  interest  to  husband  and 
wife,  and  Lank  wantin'  to  act  mean, 
said  that  they  wuz  good  sound  teeth. 

And  there  Serepta  sot  right  in  front 
cf  'em  with  her  gooms  achin'  and  her 
face  all  swelled  out,  and  lookin'  like 
furiation,  and  couldn't  say  a  word.  But 
she  had  to  give  in  to  the  law.  And 
ruther  than  go  toothless  she  wears  'em 
to  this  day,  and  I  believe  it  is  the  raspin' 
of  them  teeth  aginst  her  gooms  and  her 


'  They  Can't  Blame  Her  "        41 

discouraged,  mad  feelin's  every  time  she 
looks  in  the  glass  that  helps  embitter  her 
towards  men,  and  the  laws  men  have 
made,  so's  a  woman  can't  have  control 
of  her  own  teeth  and  her  own  bones. 

Serepta  went  home  about  5  P.M.,  I 
promisin'  sacred  to  do  her  errents  for 
her. 

And  I  gin  a  deep,  happy  sithe  after  I 
shot  the  door  behind  her,  and  I  sez  to 
Josiah  I  do  hope  that's  the  very  last 
errent  we  will  have  to  carry  to  Washing 
ton,  D.  C.,  for  the  Jonesvillians. 

"  Yes,"  says  he,  "  an'  I  guess  I  will 
get  a  fresh  pail  of  water  and  hang  on  the 
tea  kettle  for  you." 

"  And,"  I  says,  "  it's  pretty  early  for 
supper,  but  I'll  start  it,  for  I  do  feel 
kinder  gone  to  the  stomach.  Sympathy 
is  real  exhaustin'.  Sometimes  I  think  it 
tires  me  more'n  hard  work.  And 
Heaven  knows  I  sympathized  with  Se 
repta.  I  felt  for  her  full  as  much  as  if 


42  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

she  was  one  of  the  relations  on  his 
side. 

But  if  you'll  believe  it,  I  had  hardly 
got  the  words  out  of  my  mouth  and 
Josiah  had  jest  laid  holt  of  the  water 
pail,  when  in  comes  Philander  Dagget, 
the  President  of  the  Jonesville  Creation 
Searchin1  Society  and,  of  course,  he  had 
a  job  for  us  to  do  on  our  tower.  This 
Society  was  started  by  the  leadin'  men 
of  Jonesville,  for  the  purpose  of  search- 
in'  out  and  criticizin'  the  affairs  of  the 
world,  an'  so  far  as  possible  advisin'  and 
correctin'  the  meanderin's  an'  wrong- 
doin's  of  the  universe. 

This  Society,  which  we  call  the  C.  S. 
S.  for  short,  has  been  ruther  quiet  for 
years.  But  sence  woman's  suffrage  has 
got  to  be  such  a  prominent  question, 
they  bein'  so  bitterly  opposed  to  it,  have 
reorganized  and  meet  every  once  in  a 
while,  to  sneer  at  the  suffragettes  and 
poke  fun  at  'em  and  show  in  every  way 


'  They  Can't  Blame  Her  "        43 

they  can  their  bitter  antipathy  to  the 
cause. 

Philander  told  me  if  I  see  anything 
new  and  strikin'  in  the  way  of  Society 
badges  and  regalia,  to  let  him  know 
about  it,  for  he  said  the  C.  S.  S.  was 
goin'  to  take  a  decided  stand  and  show 
their  colors.  They  wuz  goin'  to  help  pro 
tect  his  women  endangered  sect,  an'  he 
wanted  sunthin'  showy  and  suggestive. 

I  thought  of  a  number  of  badges  and 
mottoes  that  I  felt  would  be  suitable  for 
this  Society,  but  dassent  tell  'em  to  him, 
for  his  idees  and  mine  on  this  subject 
are  as  fur  apart  as  the  two  poles.  He 
talked  awful  bitter  to  me  once  about  it, 
and  I  sez  to  him: 

"  Philander,  the  world  is  full  of  good 
men,  and  there  are  also  bad  men  in  the 
world,  and,  sez  I,  did  you  ever  in  your 
born  days  see  a  bad  man  that  wuzn't 
opposed  to  Woman's  Suffrage?  All  the 
men  who  trade  in,  and  profit  by,  the 


44  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

weakness  and  sin  of  men  and  women, 
they  every  one  of  'em,  to  a  man,  fight 
agin  it.  And  would  they  do  this  if  they 
didn't  think  that  their  vile  trades  would 
suffer  if  women  had  the  right  to  vote? 
It  is  the  great-hearted,  generous,  noble 
man  who  wants  women  to  become  a  real 
citizen  with  himself — which  she  is  not 
now — she  is  only  a  citizen  just  enough  to 
be  taxed  equally  with  man,  or  more  ex- 
horbitantly,  and  be  punished  and  ex 
ecuted  by  the  law  she  has  no  hand  in 
makin'." 

Philander  sed,  "  I  have  always  found 
it  don't  pay  to  talk  with  women  on  mat 
ters  they  don't  understand." 

An'  he  got  up  and  started  for  the 
door,  an'  Josiah  sed,  "  No,  it  don't  pay, 
not  a  cent;  I've  always  said  so." 

But  I  told  Philander  I'd  let  him  know 
if  I  see  anything  appropriate  to  the  C. 
S.  S.  Holdin'  back  with  a  almost  Her- 
culaneum  effort  the  mottoes  and  badges 


'They  Can't  Blame  Her"        45 

that  run  through  my  mind  as  bein'  ap 
propriate  to  their  society;  knowin'  it 
would  make  him  so  mad  if  I  told  him 
of  'em — he  never  would  neighbor  with 
us  again.  And  in  three'  days'  time  we 
sot  sail.  We  got  to  the  depo  about  an 
hour  too  early,  but  I  wuz  glad  we  wuz 
on  time,  for  it  would  have  worked  Josiah 
up  dretfully  ef  we  hadn't  been,  for  he 
had  spent  most  of  the  latter  part  of  the 
night  in  gittin'  up  and  walkin'  out  to  the 
clock  seein'  if  it  wuz  train  time.  Jest 
before  we  started,  who  should  come  run- 
nin'  down  to  the  depo  but  Sam  Nugent 
wantin'  to  sent  a  errent  by  me  to  Wash 
ington.  He  wunk  me  out  to  one  side  of 
the  waitin'  room,  and  ast  "if  I'd  try  to 
git  him  a  license  to  steal  horses." 

It  kinder  runs  in  the  blood  of  the 
Nugents  to  love  to  steal,  and  he  owned 
up  it  did,  but  he  said  he  wanted  the 
profit  of  it.  But  I  told  him  I  wouldn't 
do  any  sech  thing,  an'  I  looked  at  him 


46  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

in  such  a  witherin'  way  that  I  should 
most  probable  withered  him,  only  he  is 
blind  in  one  side,  and  I  wuz  on  the  blind 
side,  but  he  argued  with  me,  and  said 
that  it  wuz  no  worse  than  to  give  licenses 
for  other  kinds  of  meanness. 

He  said  they  give  licenses  now  to  steal 
—steal  folkses  senses  away,  and  then 
they  could  steal  everything  else,  and  mur 
der  and  tear  round  into  every  kind  of 
wickedness.  But  he  didn't  ask  that.  He 
wanted  things  done  fair  and  square:  he 
jest  wanted  to  steal  horses.  He  wuz 
goin'  West,  and  he  thought  he  could  do 
a  good  bizness,  and  lay  up  somethin'. 
If  he  had  a  license  he  shouldn't  be  afraid 
of  bein'  shet  up  or  shot. 

But  I  refused  the  job  with  scorn;  and 
jest  as  I  wuz  refusin',  the  cars  snorted, 
and  I  wuz  glad  they  did.  They  seemed 
to  express  in  that  wild  snort  something 
of  the  indignation  I  felt. 

The  idee! 


Ill 

"POLLY'S  EYES  CROWED 
TENDER " 

EORINDA  wuz  dretful  glad  to  see 
us  and  so  wuz  her  husband  and 
Polly.  But  the  Reunion  had  to  be 
put  off  on  account  of  a  spell  her  hus 
band  wuz  havin'.  Lorinda  said  she 
could  not  face  such  a  big  company  as 
she'd  invited  while  Hiram  wuz  havin' 
a  spell,  and  I  agreed  with  her. 

Sez  I,  "  Never,  never,  would  I  have 
invited  company  whilst  Josiah  wuz  suf- 
ferin'  with  one  of  his  cricks." 

Men  hain't  patient  under  pain,  and 
outsiders  hain't  no  bizness  to  hear  things 
they  say  and  tell  on  'em.  So  Polly  had 
to  write  to  the  relations  puttin'  off  the 
Reunion  for  one  week.  But  Lorinda  kep' 

47  - 


48  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

on  cookin'  fruit  cake  and  such  that  would 
keep,  she  had  plenty  of  help,  but  loved 
to  do  her  company  cookin'  herself.  And 
seem'  the  Reunion  wuz  postponed  and 
Lorinda  had  time  on  her  hands,  I  pro 
posed  she  should  go  with  me  to  the  big 
out-door  meetin'  of  the  Suffragists,  which 
wuz  held  in  a  nigh-by  city. 

"  Good  land!  "  sez  she,  "  nothin'  would 
.tempt  me  to  patronize  anything  so 
brazen  and  onwomanly  as  a  out-door 
meetin'  of  wimmen,  and  so  onhealthy 
and  immodest."  I  see  she  looked  re 
proachfully  at  Polly  as  she  said  it. 
Polly  wuz  arrangin'  some  posies  in  a 
vase,  and  looked  as  sweet  as  the  posies 
did,  but  considerable  firm  too,  and  I  see 
from  Lorinda's  looks  that  Polly  wuz  one 
who  had  to  leave  father  and  mother  for 
principle's  sake. 

But  I  sez,  "  You're  cookin'  this  min 
ute,   Lorinda,    for   a   out-door   meetin' ' 
(she   wuz   makin'    angel   cake).      "And 


'  Polly's  Eyes  Crowed  Tender  "    49 

why  is  this  meetin'  any  more  onwomanly 
or  immodest  than  the  camp-meetin' 
where  you  wuz  converted,  and  baptized 
the  next  Sunday  in  the  creek? " 

"  Oh,  them  wuz  religious  meetin's," 
sez  she. 

'  Well,"  sez  I,  "  mebby  these  wimmen 
think  their  meetin'  is  religious.  You 
know  the  Bible  sez,  '  Faith  and  works 
should  go  together,'  and  some  of  the 
leaders  of  this  movement  have  showed 
by  their  works  as  religious  a  sperit  and 
wielded  aginst  injustice  to  young  workin' 
wimmen  as  powerful  a  weepon  as  that 
axe  of  the  Tostles  the  Bible  tells  about. 
And  you  said  you  went  every  day  to  the 
Hudson-Fulton  doin's  and  hearn  every 
out-door  lecture;  you  writ  me  that  there 
wuz  probable  a  million  wimmen  attendin' 
them  out-door  meetin's,  and  that  wuz 
curosity  and  pleasure  huntin'  that  took 
them,  and  this  is  a  meetin'  of  justice  and 
right." 


50  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

"Oh,  shaw!"  sez  Lorinda  agin,  with 
her  eye  on  Polly.  "  Wimmen  have  all  the 
rights  they  want  or  need."  Lorinda's 
husband  bein'  rich  and  lettin'  her  have 
her  way  she  is  real  foot  loose,  and  don't 
feel  the  need  of  any  more  rights  for  her 
self,  but  I  told  her  then  and  there  some 
of  the  wrongs  and  sufferings  of  Serepta 
Pester,  and  bein'  good-hearted  (but 
obstinate  and  bigoted)  she  gin  in  that 
the  errents  wuz  hefty,  and  that  Serepta 
wuz  to  be  pitied,  but  she  insisted  that 
wimmen's  votin'  wouldn't  help  matters. 

But  Euphrasia  Pottle,  a  poor  relation 
from  Troy,  spoke  up.  "  After  my  hus 
band  died  one  of  my  girls  went  into  a 
factory  and  gits  about  half  what  the  men 
git  for  the  same  work,  and  my  oldest 
girl  who  teaches  in  the  public  school 
don't  git  half  as  much  for  the  same  work 
as  men  do,  and  her  school  rooms  are 
dark,  stuffy,  onhealthy,  and  crowded  so 
the  children  are  half -choked  for  air,  and 


'  Polly's  Eyes  Growed  Tender  "    51 

the  light  so  poor  they're  havin"  their  eye 
sight  spilte  for  life,  and  new  school  books 
not  needed  at  all,  are  demanded  con 
stantly,  so  some-one  can  make  money."' 

Yes,"  sez  I,  "  do  you  spoze,  Lorinda, 
if  intelligent  mothers  helped  control  such 
things  they  would  let  their  children  be 
made  sick  and  blind  and  the  money 
that  should  be  used  for  food  for  poor 
hungry  children  be  squandered  on  on- 
necessary  books  they  are  too  faint  with 
hunger  to  study." 

14  But  wimmen's  votin'  wouldn't  help 
in  such  things,"  sez  Lorinda,  as  she 
stirred  her  angel  cake  vigorously. 

But  Euphrasia  sez,  4i  My  niece,  Ellen, 
teaches  in  a  state  where  wimmen  vote  and 
she  gits  the  same  wages  men  git  for  the 
same  work,  and  her  school  rooms  are 
bright  and  pleasant  and  sanitary,  and  the 
pupils,  of  course,  are  well  and  happy. 
And  if  you  don't  think  wimmen  can 
help  in  such  public  matters  just  go  to 


52  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

Seattle  and  see  how  quick  a  bad  man 
wuz  yanked  out  of  his  public  office  and 
a  good  man  put  in  his  place,  mostly  by 
wimmen's  efforts  and  votes." 

"  Yes,"  sez  I,  "  it  is  a  proved  fact  that 
wimmen's  votes  do  help  in  these  matters. 
And  do  you  think,  Lorinda,  that  if 
educated,  motherly,  thoughtful  wim- 
men  helped  make  the  laws  so  many  little 
children  would  be  allowed  to  toil  in  fac 
tories  and  mines,  their  tender  shoulders 
bearin'  the  burden  of  constant  labor  that 
wears  out  the  iron  muscles  of  men? " 

Polly's  eyes  growed  tender  and  wist 
ful,  and  her  little  white  hands  lingered 
over  her  posies,  and  I  knowed  the  hard 
lot  of  the  poor,  the  wrongs  of  wimmen 
and  children,  the  woes  of  humanity,  wuz 
pressin'  down  on  her  generous  young 
heart.  And  I  could  see  in  her  sweet  face 
the  brave  determination  to  do  and  to 
dare,  to  try  to  help  ondo  the  wrongs, 
and  try  to  lift  the  burdens  from  weak 


"Polly's  Eyes  Crowed  Tender"    53 

and  achin'  shoulders.  But  Lorinda  kep' 
on  with  the  same  old  moth-eaten  argu 
ment  so  broke  down  and  feeble  it  ort  to 
be  allowed  to  die  in  peace. 

"  Woman's  suffrage  would  make  women 
neglect  their  homes  and  housework  and 
let  their  children  run  loose  into  ruin." 

I  knowed  she  said  it  partly  on  Polly's 
account,  but  I  sez  in  surprise,  "  Why, 
Lorinda,  it  must  be  you  hain't  read  up 
on  the  subject  or  you  would  know  wher 
ever  wimmen  has  voted  they  have  looked 
out  first  of  all  for  the  children's  wel 
fare.  They  have  raised  the  age  of  con 
sent,  have  closed  saloons  and  other  places 
of  licensed  evil,  and  in  every  way  it  has 
been  their  first  care  to  help  'em  to  safer 
and  more  moral  surroundin's,  for  who 
has  the  interest  of  children  more  at  heart 
than  the  mothers  who  bore  them,  chil 
dren  who  are  the  light  of  their  eyes  and 
the  hope  of  the  future." 

Lorinda  admitted  that  the  state  of  the 


54  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

children  in  the  homes  of  the  poor  and 
ignorant  wuz  pitiful.  "  But,'*  sez  she, 
"  the  Bible  sez  '  ye  shall  always  have  the 
poor  with  you/  and  I  spoze  we  always 
shall,  with  all  their  sufTerin's  and  wants. 
But,"  sez  she,  "  in  well-to-do  homes  the 
children  are  safe  and  well  off,  and  don't 
need  any  help  from  woman  legislation." 
6  Why,  Lorinda,"  sez  I,  "  did  you  ever 
think  on't  how  such  mothers  may  watch 
over  and  be  the  end  of  the  law  to  their 
children  writh  the  father's  full  consent 
during  infancy  when  they're  wrastlin' 
with  teethin',  whoopin'-cough,  mumps, 
etc.,  can  be  queen  of  the  nursery,  dis- 
pensor  of  pure  air,  sunshine,  sanitary, 
and  safe  surroundin's  in  every  way,  and 
then  in  a  few  years  see  'em  go  from  her 
into  dark,  overcrowded,  unsanitary,  care 
lessly  guarded  places,  to  spend  the  pre 
cious  hours  when  they  are  the  most  re 
ceptive  to  influence  and  pass  man-made 
pitfalls  on  their  way  to  and  fro,  must 


"  Polly's  Eyes  Growed  Tender  "    55 

stand  helpless  until  in  too  many  cases  the 
innocent  healthy  child  that  went  from 
her  care  returns  to  her  half-blind,  a 
physical  and  moral  wreck.  The  mother 
who  went  down  to  death's  door  for  'em, 
and  had  most  to  do  in  mouldin'  their 
destiny  during  infancy  should  have  at 
least  equal  rights  with  the  father  in  con- 
trollin'  their  surroundin's  during  their 
entire  youth,  and  to  do  this  she  must 
have  equal  legal  power  or  her  best  efforts 
are  wasted.  That  this  is  just  and  right 
is  as  plain  to  me  as  the  nose  on  my  face 
and  folks  will  see  it  bom-bye  and  wonder 
they  didn't  before. 

"  And  wimmen  who  suffer  most  by  the 
lack  on't,  will  be  most  interested  in 
openin'  schools  to  teach  the  fine  art  of 
domestic  service,  teachin'  young  girls 
how  to  keep  healthy  comfortable  homes 
and  fit  themselves  to  be  capable  wives 
and  mothers.  I  don't  say  or  expect  that 
wimmen's  votin'  will  make  black  white, 


56  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

or  wash  all  the  stains  from  the  legisla 
tive  body  at  once,  but  I  say  that  jest 
the  effort  to  git  wimmen's  suffrage  has 
opened  hundreds  of  bolted  doors  and  full 
suffrage  will  open  hundreds  more.  And 
I'm  goin'  to  that  woman's  suffrage  meet- 
in'  if  I  walk  afoot." 

But  here  Josiah  spoke  up,  I  thought 
he  wuz  asleep,  he  wuz  layin'  on  the 
lounge  with  a  paper  over  his  face.  But 
truly  the  word,  "  Woman's  Suffrage," 
rousts  him  up  as  quick  as  a  mouse  duz 
a  drowsy  cat,  so,  sez  he,  "  I  can't  let  you 
go,  Samantha,  into  any  such  dangerous 
and  on  womanly  affair." 

"Let?"  sez  I  in  a  dry  voice;  "that's 
a  queer  word  from  one  old  pardner  to 
another." 

"  I'm  responsible  for  your  safety, 
Samantha,  and  if  anybody  goes  to  that 
dangerous  and  onseemly  meetin'  I  will. 
Mebby  Polly  would  like  to  go  with  me." 
As  stated,  Polly  is  as  pretty  as  a  pink 


"  Polly's  Eyes  Crowed  Tender  "    57 

posy,  and  no  matter  how  old  a  man  is, 
nor  how  interestin'  and  noble  his  pardner 
is,  he  needs  girl  blinders,  yes,  he  needs 
'em  from  the  cradle  to  the  grave.  But 
few,  indeed,  are  the  female  pardners 
who  can  git  him  to  wear  'em. 

He  added,  ' '  You  know  I  represent 
you  legally,  Samantha;  what  I  do  is  jest 
the  same  as  though  you  did  it." 

Sez  I,  "  Mebby  that  is  law,  but  whether 
it  is  gospel  is  another  question.  But  if 
you  represent  me,  Josiah,  you  will  have 
to  carry  out  my  plans;  I  writ  to  Diantha 
Smith  Trimble  that  if  I  went  to  the  city 
I'd  take  care  of  Aunt  Susan  a  night  or 
two,  and  rest  her  a  spell;  you  know 
Diantha  is  a  widder  and  too  poor  to  hire 
a  nurse.  But  seein'  you  represent  me 
you  can  set  up  with  her  Ma  a  night  or 
two;  she's  bed-rid  and  you'll  have  to  lift 
her  round  some,  and  give  her  her  medi 
cine  and  take  care  of  Diantha's  twins, 
and  let  her  git  a  good  sleep." 


58  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

'  Well,  as  it  were — Samantha — you 
know — men  hain't  expected  to  represent 
wimmen  in  everything,  it  is  mostly  votin' 
and  tendin'  big  meetin's  and  such." 

"Oh,  I  see,"  sez  I;  "men  represent 
wimmen  when  they  want  to,  and  when 
they  don't  wimmen  have  got  to  represent 
themselves." 

'  Well,  yes,  Samantha,  sunthin'  like 
that." 

He  didn't  say  anything  more  about 
representin'  me,  and  Polly  said  she  wuz 
goin'  to  ride  in  the  parade  with  some 
other  college  girls.  Lorinda's  linement 
looked  dark  and  forbiddin'  as  Polly 
stated  in  her  gentle,  but  firm  way  this 
ultimatum.  Lorinda  hated  the  idee  of 
Polly's  jinin'  in  what  she  called  on- 
womanly  and  immodest  doin's,  but  I 
looked  beamin'ly  at  her  and  gloried  in 
her  principles. 

After  she  went  out  Lorinda  said  to  me 
in  a  complainin'  way,  "  I  should  think  that 


"Polly's  Eyes  Crowed  Tender"    59 

a  girl  that  had  every  comfort  and  luxury 
would  be  contented  and  thankful,  and  be 
willin'  to  stay  to  home  and  act  like  a 
lady." 

Sez  I,  "Nothin'  could  keep  Polly 
from  actin'  like  a  lady,  and  mebby  it 
is  because  she  is  so  well  off  herself  that 
makes  her  sorry  for  other  young  girls 
that  have  nothin'  but  poverty  and  pri 
vation." 

"Oh,  nonsense!"  sez  Lorinda.  But 
I  knowed  jest  how  it  wuz.  Polly  bein' 
surrounded  by  all  the  good  things  money 
could  give,  and  bein'  so  tender-hearted 
her  heart  ached  for  other  young  girls, 
who  had  to  spend  the  springtime  of 
their  lives  in  the  hard  work  of  earn- 
in'  bread  for  themselves  and  dear 
ones,  and  she  longed  to  help  'em  to 
livin'  wages,  so  they  could  exist  without 
the  wages  of  sin,  and  too  man}7  on  'em 
had  to  choose  between  them  black  wages 
and  starvation.  She  wanted  to  help  'em 


GO  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

to  better  surroundin's  and  she  knowed 
the  best  weepon  she  could  put  into  their 
hands  to  fight  the  wolves  of  Want 
and  Temptation,  wuz  the  ballot.  Polly 
hain't  a  mite  like  her  Ma,  she  favors  the 
Smiths  more,  her  grand-ma  on  her  pa's 
side  wuz  a  Smith  and  a  woman  of  brains 
and  principle. 

Durin'  my  conversation  with  Lorinda, 
I  inquired  about  Royal  Gray,  for  as 
stated,  he  wuz  a  great  favorite  of  ourn, 
and  I  found  out  (and  I  could  see  it 
gaulded  her)  that  when  Polly  united 
with  the  Suffragists  he  shied  off  some, 
and  went  to  payin'  attention  to  an 
other  girl.  Whether  it  wuz  to  make 
Polly  jealous  and  bring  her  round  to  his 
way  of  thinkin',  I  didn't  know,  but  mis 
trusted,  for  I  could  have  took  my  oath 
that  he  loved  Polly  deeply  and  truly. 
To  be  sure  he  hadn't  confided  in  me,  but 
there  is  a  language  of  the  eyes,  when  the 
soul  speaks  through  'em,  and  as  I'd  seen 


'  Polly's  Eyes  Crowed  Tender  "    61 

him  look  at  Polly  my  own  soul  had 
hearn  and  understood  that  silent  lan 
guage  and  translated  it,  that  Polly  wuz 
the  light  of  his  eyes,  and  the  one  woman 
in  the  world  for  him.  And  I  couldn't 
think  his  heart  had  changed  so  sudden. 
But  knowin'  as  I  did  the  elastic  na 
ture  of  manly  affection,  I  felt  duber- 
some. 

This  other  girl,  Maud  Vincent,  always 
said  to  her  men  friends,  it  wuz  on- 
womanly  to  try  to  vote.  She  wuz  one 
of  the  girls  who  always  gloried  in  bein' 
a  runnin'  vine  when  there  wuz  any 
masculine  trees  round  to  lean  on  and 
twine  about.  One  who  always  jined  in 
with  all  the  idees  they  promulgated,  from 
neckties  to  the  tariff,  who  declared  cigar 
smoke  wuz  so  agreeable  and  welcome;  it 
did  really  make  her  deathly  sick,  but 
she  would  choke  herself  cheerfully  and 
willin'ly  if  by  so  chokin'  she  could  gain 
manly  favor  and  admiration. 


62  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

She  said  she  didn't  believe  in  helpin' 
poor  girls,  they  wuz  well  enough  off 
as  it  wuz,  she  wuz  sure  they  didn't  feel 
hunger  and  cold  as  rich  girls  did,  their 
skin  wuz  thicker  and  their  stomachs  dif 
ferent  and  stronger,  and  constant  labor 
didn't  harm  them,  and  working  girls 
didn't  need  recreation  as  rich  girls  did, 
and  woman's  suffrage  wouldn't  help 
them  any;  in  her  opinion  it  would  harm 
them,  and  anyway  the  poor  wuz  on- 
grateful. 

She  had  the  usual  arguments  on  the 
tip  of  her  tongue,  for  old  Miss  Vincent, 
the  aunt  she  lived  with,  wuz  a  ardent 
She  Aunty  and  very  prominent  in  the 
public  meetin's  the  She  Auntys  have 
to  try  to  compel  the  Suffragists  not  to 
have  public  meetin's.  They  talk  a  good 
deal  in  public  how  onwomanly  and  im 
modest  it  is  for  wimmen  to  talk  in  public. 
And  she  wuz  one  of  the  foremost  ones 
in  tryin'  to  git  up  a  school  to  teach 


"  Polly's  Eyes  Growed  Tender  "    63 

wimmen  civics,  to  prove  that  they  mustn't 
ever  have  anything  to  do  with  civics. 

Yes,  old  Miss  Vincent  wuz  a  real 
active,  ardent  She  Aunty,  and  Maud 
Genevieve  takes  after  her.  Royal  Gray, 
his  handsome  attractive  personality,  and 
his  millions,  had  long  been  the  goal  of 
Maud's  ambition.  And  how  ardently 
did  she  hail  the  coolness  growing  be 
tween  him  and  Polly,  the  little  rift  in 
the  lute,  and  how  zealously  did  she  labor 
to  make  it  larger. 

Polly  and  Royal  had  had  many  an 
argument  on  the  subject,  that  is,  he 
would  begin  by  makin'  fun  of  the  Suf 
fragists  and  their  militant  doin's,  which 
if  he'd  thought  on't  wuz  sunthin'  like 
what  his  old  revolutionary  forbears  went 
through  for  the  same  reasons,  bein'  taxed 
without  representation,  and  bein'  bur 
dened  and  punished  by  the  law  they  had 
no  voice  in  making,  only  the  Suffragettes 
are  not  nearly  so  severe  with  their  op- 


64  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

posers,  they  haven't  drawee!  any  blood 
yet.  Why,  them  old  Patriots  we  revere 
so,  would  consider  their  efforts  for  free 
dom  exceedingly  gentle  and  tame  com 
pared  to  their  own  bloody  battles. 

And  Royal  would  make  light  of  the 
efforts  of  college  girls  to  help  workin' 
girls,  and  the  encouragement  and  aid 
they'd  gin  'em  when  they  wuz  strikin' 
for  less  death-dealin'  hours  of  labor,  and 
livin'  wages,  and  so  forth.  I  don't  see 
how  such  a  really  noble  young  man  as 
Royal  ever  come  to  argy  that  way,  but 
spoze  it  wuz  the  dead  hand  of  some 
rough  onreasonable  old  ancestor  reachin' 
up  out  of  the  shadows  of  the  past 
and  pushin'  him  on  in  the  wrong  di 
rection. 

So  when  he  begun  to  ridicule  what 
Polly's  heart  wuz  sot  on,  when  she  felt 
that  he  wuz  fight  in'  agin  right  and  jus 
tice,  before  they  knowed  it  both  pairs  of 
bright  eyes  would  git  to  flashin'  out 


"Polly's  Eyes  Crowed  Tender"    65 

angry  sparks,  and  hash  words  would  be 
said  on  both  sides.  That  old  long-buried 
Tory  ancestor  of  hisen  eggin'  him  on,  so 
I  spoze,  and  Polly's  generous  sperit  re- 
bellin'  aginst  the  injustice  and  selfish 
ness,  and  mebby  some  warlike  ancestor 
of  hern  pushin'  her  on  to  say  hash  things. 
'Tennyrate  he  had  grown  less  attentive 
to  her,  and  wuz  bestowin'  his  time  and 
attentions  elsewhere. 

And  when  she  told  him  she  wuz  goin' 
to  ride  in  the  automobile  parade  of  the 
suffragists,  but  really  ridin'  she  felt  to 
wards  truth  and  justice  to  half  the  citi 
zens  of  the  U.  S.,  he  wuz  mad  as  a  wet 
hen,  a  male  wet  hen,  and  wuz  bound  she 
shouldn't  go. 

Some  men,  and  mebby  it  is  love  that 
makes  'em  feel  so  (they  say  it  is),  and 
mebby  it  is  selfishness  (though  they 
won't  own  up  to  it),  but  they  want  the 
women  they  love  to  belong  to  them  alone, 
want  to  rule  absolutely  over  their  hearts, 


66  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

their  souls,  their  bodies,  and  all  their 
thoughts  and  aims,  desires,  and  fancies. 
They  don't  really  say  they  want  'em  to 
wear  veils,  and  be  shet  in  behind  lattice- 
windowed  harems,  but  I  believe  they 
would  enjoy  it. 

They  want  to  be  foot  loose  and  heart 
loose  themselves,  but  always  after  Ulysses 
is  tired  of  world  wandering,  he  wants  to 
come  back  and  open  the  barred  doors  of 
home  with  his  own  private  latch-key,  and 
find  Penelope  knitting  stockings  for  him 
with  her  veil  on,  waitin'  for  him. 

That  sperit  is  I  spoze  inherited  from 
the  days  when  our  ancestor,  the  Cave 
man,  would  knock  down  the  woman  he 
fancied,  with  a  club,  and  carry  her  off 
into  his  cave  and  keep  her  there  shet  up. 
But  little  by  little  men  are  forgettin' 
their  ancestral  traits,  and  men  and  wim- 
men  are  gradually  comin'  out  of  their 
dark  caverns  into  the  sunshine  (for 
women  too  have  inherited  queer  traits 


"  Polly's  Eyes  Growed  Tender  "    67 

and  disagreeable  ones,  but  that  is  an 
other  story). 

Well,  as  I  said,  Royal  wuz  mad  and 
told  Polly  that  he  guessed  that  the  day 
of  the  Parade  he  would  take  Maud  Vin 
cent  out  in  the  country  in  his  motor,  to 
gather  May-flowers.  Polly  told  him  she 
hoped  they  would  have  a  good  time,  and 
then,  after  he  had  gone,  drivin'  his  car 
lickety-split,  harem  skarum,  owin'  to  his 
madness  I  spoze,  Polly  went  upstairs 
and  cried,  for  I  hearn  her,  her  room  wuz 
next  to  ourn. 

And  I  deeply  respected  her  for  her 
principles,  for  he  had  asked  her  first  to 
go  May-flowering  with  him  the  day  of 
the  Suffrage  meeting.  But  she  refused, 
havin'  in  her  mind,  I  spoze,  the  girls 
that  couldn't  hunt  flowers,  but  had  to 
handle  weeds  and  thistles  with  bare  hands 
(metaforically)  and  wanted  to  help  them 
and  all  workin'  wimmen  to  happier  and 
more  prosperous  lives. 


IV 

"  STRIVIN'  WITH  THE 
EMISSARY" 

BUT  I  am  hitchin'  the  horse  behind 
the  wagon  and  to  resoom  back 
wards.  The  Reunion  wuz  put  off 
a  week  and  the  Suffrage  Meetin'  wuz 
two  days  away,  so  I  told  Lorinda  I 
didn't  believe  I  would  have  a  better  time 
to  carry  Serepta  Fester's  errents  to 
Washington,  D.  C.  Josiah  said  he 
guessed  he  would  stay  and  help  wait  on 
Hiram  Cagwin,  and  I  approved  on't,  for 
Lorinda  wuz  gittin'  wore  out. 

And  then  Josiah  made  so  light  of  them 
errents  I  felt  that  he  would  be  a  draw 
back  instead  of  a  help,  for  how  could 
I  keep  a  calm  and  noble  frame  of  mind 
befittin'  them  lofty  errents,  and  how 


"  Strivin'  with  the  Emissary  "      69 

could  I  carry  'em  stiddy  with  a  pardner 
by  my  side  pokin'  fun  at  'em,  and  at 
me  for  carryin'  'em,  jarrin'  my  sperit 
with  his  scorfin'  and  onbelievin'  talk? 

And  as  I  sot  off  alone  in  the  trolley 
I  thought  of  how  they  must  have  felt 
in  old  times  a-carryin'  the  Urim  and 
Thumim.  And  though  I  hadn't  no  idee 
what  them  wuz,  yet  I  always  felt  that 
the  carriers  of  'em  must  have  felt  solemn 
and  high-strung.  Yes,  my  feelin's  wuz 
such  as  I  felt  of  the  heft  and  importance 
of  them  errents  not  alone  to  Serepta 
Pester,  but  to  the  hull  race  of  wimmen 
that  it  kep'  my  mental  head  rained  up  so 
high  that  I  couldn't  half  see  and  enjoy 
the  sight  of  the  most  beautiful  city  in 
the  world,  and  still  I  spoze  its  grandeur 
and  glory  sort  o'  filtered  down  through 
my  conscientiousness,  as  cloth  grows 
white  under  the  sun's  rays  onbeknown 
to  it. 

Anon   I  left  the   trolley   and   walked 


70  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

some  ways  afoot.  It  wuz  a  lovely  day, 
the  sun  shone  down  in  golden  splendor 
upon  the  splendor  beneath  it.  Broad, 
beautiful  clean  streets,  little  fresh  green 
parks,  everywhere  you  could  turn  about, 
and  big  ones  full  of  flowers  and  foun 
tains,  and  trees  and  statutes. 

And  anon  or  oftener  I  passed  noble 
big  stun  buildings,  where  everything  is 
made  for  the  nation's  good  and  profit. 
Money  and  fish  and  wisdom  and  all  sorts 
of  patented  things  and  garden  seeds  and 
tariffs  and  resolutions  and  treaties  and 
laws  of  every  shape  and  size,  good  ones 
and  queer  ones  and  reputations  and  rates 
and  rebates,  etc.,  etc.  But  it  would  de 
vour  too  much  time  to  even  name  over 
all  that  is  made  and  onmade  there,  even 
if  I  knowed  by  name  the  innumerable 
things  that  are  flowin'  constant  out  of 
that  great  reservoir  of  the  Nation,  with 
its  vast  crowd  of  law-makers  settin'  on 
the  lid,  regulatin'  its  flow  and  spreadin' 


"  Strivin'  with  the  Emissary  "      71 

it  abroad  over  the  country,  thick  and 
thin. 

But  on  I  went  past  the  Capitol,  the 
handsomest  buildin'  on  the  Globe,  stand- 
in5  in  its  own  Eden  of  beauty.  By  the 
Public  Library  as  long  as  from  our  house 
to  Grout  Hozleton's,  and  I  guess  longer, 
and  every  foot  on't  more  beautifler  orna 
mented  than  tongue  can  tell.  But  I 
didn't  dally  tryin'  to  pace  off  the  size 
on't,  though  it  wuz  enormous,  for  the 
thought  of  what  I  wuz  carryin'  bore  me 
on  almost  regardless  of  my  matchless 
surroundin's  and  the  twinges  of  rumatiz. 

And  anon  I  arrived  at  the  White 
House,  where  my  hopes  and  the  hopes 
of  my  sect  and  Serepta  Pester  wuz  sot. 
I  will  pass  over  my  efforts  to  git  into 
the  Presence,  merely  savin'  that  they 
were  arjous  and  extreme,  and  I  wouldn't 
probably  have  got  in  at  all  had  not  the 
Presence  appeared  with  a  hat  on  jest 
goin'  out  for  a  walk,  and  see  me  as  I  wuz 


72  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

strivin'  with  the  emissary  for  entrance. 
I  spoze  my  noble  mean,  made  more 
noble  fur  by  the  magnitude  of  what  I 
wuz  carryin',  impressed  him,  for  suffice 
it  to  say  inside  of  five  minutes  the  Pres 
ence  wuz  back  in  his  augience  room, 
and  I  wuz  layin'  out  them  errents  of 
Serepta's  in  front  of  him. 

He  wuz  very  hefty,  a  good-lookin' 
smilin'  man,  a  politer  demeanored  gen 
tlemanly  appearner  man  I  don't  want 
to  see.  But  his  linement  which  had 
looked  so  pleasant  and  cheerful  growed 
gloomy  and  deprested  as  I  spread  them 
errerits  before  him  and  sez  in  conclusion: 

"  Serepta  Pester  sent  these  errents  to 
you,  she  wanted  intemperance  done  away 
with,  the  Whiskey  Ring  broke  up  and 
destroyed,  she  wanted  you  to  have  nothin' 
stronger  than  root  beer  when  you  had 
company  to  dinner,  she  offerin'  to  send 
you  some  burdock  and  dandeline  roots 
and  some  emptins  to  start  it  with,  and 


"  Strivin'  with  the  Emissary  "      73 

she  wanted  her  rights,  and  wanted  'em 
all  by  week  after  next  without  fail." 

He  sithed  hard,  and  I  never  see  a 
linement  fall  furder  than  hisen  fell,  and 
kep'  a-fallin'.  I  pitied  him,  I  see  it  wuz 
a  hard  stent  for  him  to  do  it  in  the  time 
she  had  sot,  and  he  so  fleshy  too.  But 
knowin'  how  much  wuz  at  the  stake,  and 
how  the  fate  of  Serepta  and  wimmen 
wuz  tremblin'  in  the  balances,  I  spread 
them  errents  out  before  him.  And  bein' 
truthful  and  above  board,  I  told  him 
that  Serepta  wuz  middlin'  disagreeable 
and  very  hombly,  but  she  needed  her 
rights  jest  as  much  as  though  she  wuz 
a  wax-doll.  And  I  went  on  and  told  him 
how  she  and  her  relations  had  suffered 
from  want  of  rights,  and  how  dretfully 
she  had  suffered  from  the  Ring  till  I 
declare  talkin'  about  them  little  children 
of  hern,  and  her  agony,  I  got  about  as 
fierce  actin'  as  Serepta  herself,  and  en 
tirely  onbeknown  to  myself  I  talked  pow- 


74  Samantha  oh  the  Woman  Question 

erful  on  intemperance  and  Rings,  and 
such. 

When  I  got  down  agin  onto  my  feet 
I  see  he  had  a  still  more  worried  and 
anxious  look  on  his  good-natured  face, 
and  he  sez:  "The  laws  of  the  United 
States  are  such  that  I  can't  do  them 
errands,  I  can't  interfere." 

"  Then,"  sez  I,  "  why  don't  you  make 
the  United  States  do  right?" 

He  said  sunthin'  about  the  might  of 
the  majority,  and  the  powerful  corpora 
tions  and  rings,  and  that  sot  me  off  agin. 
And  I  talked  very  powerful  and  alle- 
gored  about  allowin'  a  ring  to  be  put 
round  the  United  States  and  let  a  lot 
of  whiskey  dealers  and  corporations  lead 
her  round,  a  pitiful  sight  for  men  and 
angels.  Sez  I,  "  How  duz  it  look  before 
the  nations  to  see  Columbia  led  round 
half- tipsy  by  a  Ring?  " 

He  seemed  to  think  it  looked  bad,  I 
knew  by  his  looks. 


"  Strivin'  with  the  Emissary  "      75 

Sez  I,  "  Intemperance  is  bad  for 
Serepta  and  bad  for  the  Nation." 

He  murmured  sunthin'  about  the  rev 
enue  the  liquor  trade  brought  the  Cov 
er  munt. 

But  I  sez,  "  Every  penny  is  money 
right  out  of  the  people's  pockets;  every 
dollar  the  people  pay  into  the  liquor 
traffic  that  gives  a  few  cents  into  the 
treasury,  is  costin'  the  people  ten  times 
that  dollar  in  the  loss  intemperance  en 
tails,  loss  of  labor,  by  the  inability  of 
drunken  men  to  do  anything  but  wobble 
and  stagger,  loss  of  wealth  by  the  enor 
mous  losses  of  property  and  taxation,  of 
alms-houses,  mad-houses,  jails,  police 
forces,  paupers'  coffins,  and  the  diggin' 
of  thousands  and  thousands  of  graves 
that  are  filled  yearly  by  them  that  reel 
into  'em."  Sez  I,  "  Wouldn't  it  be  bet 
ter  for  the  people  to  pay  that  dollar  in 
the  first  place  into  the  treasury  than  to 
let  it  filter  through  the  dram-seller's 


76  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

hands,  a  few  cents  of  it  fallin'  into  the 
national  purse  at  last,  putrid  and  heavy 
with  all  these  losses  and  curses  and 
crimes  and  shames  and  despairs  and 
agonies? " 

He  seemed  to  think  it  would,  I  see 
by  the  looks  of  his  linement  he  did. 
Every  honorable  man  feels  so  in  his 
heart,  and  yet  they  let  the  Liquor  Ring 
control  'em  and  lead  'em  round.  "  It  is 
queer,  queer  as  a  dog."  Sez  I,  "  The 
intellectual  and  moral  power  of  the 
United  States  are  rolled  up  and  thrust 
into  that  Whiskey  Ring  and  bein'  drove 
by  the  whiskey  dealers  jest  where  they 
want  to  drive  'em."  Sez  I,  "  It  controls 
New  York  village  and  nobody  denies  it, 
and  the  piety  and  philanthropy  and  cul 
ture  and  philosophy  of  that  village  has 
to  be  drawed  along  by  that  Ring."  And 
sez  I,  in  low  but  startlin'  tones  of 
principle : 

"Where,  where  is  it  a-drawin'  'em  to? 


"  Strivin'  with  the  Emissary  "      77 

Where  is  it  drawin'  the  hull  nation  to? 
Is  it  drawin'  'em  down  into  a  slavery 
ten  times  more  abject  and  soul-destroy  in' 
than  African  slavery  ever  wuz?  Tell 
me,"  sez  I  firmly,  "  tell  me!  " 

He  did  not  try  to  frame  a  reply, 
he  could  not  find  a  frame.  He  knowed 
it  wuz  a  conundrum  boundless  as  truth 
and  God's  justice,  and  as  solemnly  deep 
in  its  sure  consequences  of  evil  as  eter 
nity,  and  as  sure  to  come  as  that  is. 

Oh,  how  solemn  he  looked,  and  how 
sorry  I  felt  for  him,  for  I  knowed  worse 
wuz  to  come,  I  knowed  the  sharpest 
arrow  Serepta  Pester  had  sent  wuz  yet 
to  pierce  his  sperit.  But  I  sort  o'  blunted 
the  edge  on't  what  I  could  conscien 
tiously.  Sez  I,  "  I  think  myself  Serepta 
is  a  little  onreasonable,  I  myself  am 
willin'  to  wait  three  or  four  weeks.  But 
she's  suffered  dretful  from  intemperance 
from  the  Rings  and  from  the  want  of 
rights,  and  her  sufferin's  have  made  her 


78  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

more  voylent  in  her  demands  and  im- 
patienter,"  and  then  I  fairly  groaned  as 
I  did  the  rest  of  the  errent,  and  let  the 
sharpest  arrow  fly  from  the  bo. 

"  Serepta  told  me  to  tell  you  if  you 
didn't  do  these  errents  you  should  not 
be  President  next  year." 

He  trembled  like  a  popple  leaf,  and  I 
felt  that  Serepta  wuz  threatenin'  him  too 
hard.  Sez  he,  "  I  do  not  wish  to  be 
President  again,  I  shall  refuse  to  be 
nominated.  At  the  same  time  I  do  wish 
to  be  President  and  shall  work  hard  for 
the  nomination  if  you  can  understand 
the  paradox." 

"Yes,"  sez  I,  "I  understand  them 
paradoxes.  I've  lived  with  'em  as  you 
may  say,  all  through  my  married  life." 

A  clock  struck  in  the  next  room  and 
I  knowed  time  wuz  passin'  swift. 

Sez  the  President,  "  I  would  be  glad 
to  do  Serepta's  errents,  I  think  she  is 
justified  in  askin'  for  her  rights,  and  to 


"  Strivin'  with  the  Emissary  "      79 

have  the  Ring  destroyed,  but  I  am  not 
the  one  to  do  them." 

Sez  I,  "  Who  is  the  man  or  men? " 
He  looked  all  round  the  room  and  up 
and  down  as  if  in  hopes  he  could  see 
someone  layin'  round  on  the  floor,  or 
danglin'  from  the  ceilin',  that  would  take 
the  responsibility  offen  him,  and  in  the 
very  nick  of  time  the  door  opened  after 
a  quick  rap,  and  the  President  jumped 
up  with  a  relieved  look  on  his  linement, 
and  sez: 

"  Here  is  the  very  man  to  do  the 
errents."  And  he  hastened  to  introduce 
me  to  the  Senator  who  entered.  And 
then  he  bid  me  a  hasty  adoo,  but  cordial 
and  polite,  and  withdrew  himself. 


"HE  WUZ  DRETFUL  POLITE" 

1FELT  glad  to  have  this  Senator  do 
Serepta's  errents,  but  I  didn't  like 
his  looks.  My  land!  talk  about 
Serepta  Pester  bein'  disagreeable,  he 
wuz  as  disagreeable  as  she  any  day.  He 
wuz  kinder  tall  and  looked  out  of  his 
eyes  and  wore  a  vest.  He  wuz  some 
bald-headed,  and  wore  a  large  smile  all 
the  while,  it  looked  like  a  boughten  one 
that  didn't  fit  him,  but  I  won't  say  it 
wuz.  I  presoom  he'll  be  known  by  this 
description.  But  his  baldness  didn't 
look  to  me  like  Josiah  Allen's  baldness, 
and  he  didn't  have  the  noble  linement 
of  the  President,  no  indeed.  He  wuz 
dretful  polite,  good  land!  politeness  is 
no  name  for  it,  but  I  don't  like  to  see 

80 


"  He  Wuz  Dretful  Polite  "        81 

anybody  too  good.  He  drawed  a  chair 
up  for  me  and  himself  and  asked  me: 

If  he  should  have  the  inexpressible 
honor  and  delightful  joy  of  aiding  me  in 
any  way,  if  so  to  command  him  to  do 
it  or  words  to  that  effect.  I  can't  put 
down  his  second-hand  smiles  and  genteel 
looks  and  don't  want  to  if  I  could. 

But  tacklin'  hard  jobs  as  I  always 
tackle  'em,  I  sot  down  calm  in  front  of 
him  with  my  umbrell  on  my  lap  and 
told  him  all  of  Serepta's  errents,  and  how 
I  had  brought  'em  from  Jonesville  on 
my  tower.  I  told  over  all  her  sufferin's 
and  wrongs  from  the  Rings  and  from 
not  havin'  her  rights,  and  all  her  sis 
ter's  Azuba  Clapsaddle's,  and  her  Aunt 
Cassandra  Keeler's,  and  Hulda  and  Dru- 
silly's  and  Abagail  Flanderses  injustices 
and  sufferin's.  I  did  her  errents  as  hon 
orable  as  I'd  love  to  have  one  done  for 
me,  I  told  him  all  the  petickulars,  and 
as  I  finished  I  said  firmly: 


82  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

"  Now  can  you  do  Serepta  Pesterses 
errents  and  will  you?  " 

He  leaned  forward  with  that  disagree 
able  boughten  smile  of  hisen  and  took  up 
one  corner  of  my  mantilly,  it  wuz  cut 
tab  fashion,  and  he  took  up  the  tab  and 
said  in  a  low  insinuatin'  voice,  lookin' 
clost  at  the  edge  of  the  tab: 

"  Am  I  mistaken,  or  is  this  beautiful 
creation  pipein'  or  can  it  be  Kensington 
tattin'?" 

I  drawed  the  tab  back  coldly  and 
never  dained  a  reply;  agin  he  sez,  in  a 
tone  of  amiable  anxiety,  "  Have  I  not 
heard  a  rumor  that  bangs  are  going  out 
of  style?  I  see  you  do  not  wear  your 
lovely  hair  bang-like  or  a-pompadouris? 
Ah,  women  are  lovely  creatures,  lovely 
beings,  every  one  of  'em."  And  he 
sithed,  "  You  are  very  beautiful,"  and 
he  sithed  agin,  a  sort  of  a  deceitful  love 
sick  sithe.  I  sot  demute  as  the  Spinks, 
and  a  chippin'  bird  tappin'  his  wing 


:'  He  Wuz  Dretful  Polite  "        83 

aginst  her  stuny  breast  would  move  it 
jest  as  much  as  he  moved  me  by 
his  talk  or  his  sithes.  But  he  kep' 
on,  puttin'  on  a  sort  of  a  sad  injured 
look  as  if  my  coldness  wuz  ondoin'  of 
him. 

"  My  dear  madam,  it  is  my  misfortune 
that  the  topics  I  introduce,  however  care 
fully  selected  by  me,  do  not  seem  to  be 
congenial  to  you.  Have  you  a  leanin' 
toward  Natural  history,  madam?  Have 
you  ever  studied  into  the  habits  and 
traits  of  our  American  Wad? " 

'  What?  "  sez  I.  For  truly  a  woman's 
curosity,  however  parlyzed  by  just  in 
dignation,  can  stand  only  just  so  much 
strain.  "The  what?" 

'  The  wad.  The  animal  from  which 
is  obtained  the  valuable  fur  that  tailors 
make  so  much  use  of." 

Sez  I,  "  Do  you  mean  waddin'  eight 
cents  a  sheet? " 

"  Eight  cents  a  pelt — yes,  the  skins  are 


84  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

plentiful  and  cheap,  owing  to  the  hardy 
habits  of  the  animal." 

Sez  I,  "  Cease  instantly.     I  will  hear 


no  more." 


Truly,  I  had  heard  much  of  the  flat 
tery  and  little  talk  statesmen  will  use  to 
wimmen,  and  I'd  hearn  of  their  lies,  etc. ; 
but  truly  I  felt  that  the  half  had  not 
been  told.  And  then  I  thought  out- 
loud  and  sez: 

"  I've  hearn  how  laws  of  eternal  right 
and  justice  are  sot  one  side  in  Washing 
ton,  D.  C.,  as  bein'  too  triflin'  to  attend 
to,  while  the  Legislators  pondered  over 
and  passed  laws  regardin'  hen's  eggs  and 
bird's  nests.  But  this  is  goin'  too  fur- 
too  fur.  But,"  sez  I  firmly,  "  I  shall  do 
Serepta's  errents,  and  do  'em  to  the  best 
of  my  ability,  and  you  can't  draw  off  my 
attention  from  her  wrongs  and  sufferin's 
by  talkin'  about  wads." 

"  I  would  love  to  obleege  Serepta," 
sez  he,  "  because  she  belongs  to  such  a 


"  He  Wuz  Dretful  Polite  "        85 

lovely  sect.  Wimmen  are  the  loveliest, 
most  angelic  creatures  that  ever  walked 
the  earth;  they  are  perfect,  flawless,  like 
snow  and  roses." 

Sez  I  firmly,  "  They  hain't  no  such 
thing;  they  are  disagreeable  creeters  a 
good  deal  of  the  time.  They  hain't  no 
better  than  men,  but  they  ort  to  have 
their  rights  all  the  same.  Now  Serepta 
is  disagreeable  and  kinder  fierce  actin', 
and  jest  as  hombly  as  they  make  wim- 
men,  but  that  hain't  no  sign  she  ort  to 
be  imposed  upon;  Josiah  sez  she  hadn't 
ort  to  have  rights  she  is  so  hombly,  but 
I  don't  feel  so." 

"Who  is  Josiah?"  sez  he. 

Sez  I,  "  My  husband." 

"Ah,  your  husband!  Yes,  wimmen 
should  have  husbands  instead  of  rights. 
They  do  not  need  rights;  they  need 
freedom  from  all  cares  and  sufferin'. 
Sweet  lovely  beings!  let  them  have  hus 
bands  to  lift  them  above  all  earthly  cares 


86  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

and  trials!  Oh!  angels  of  our  homes!" 
sez  he,  liftin'  his  eyes  to  the  heavens  and 
kinder  shettin'  'em,  some  as  if  he  wuz 
goin'  into  a  spazzum.  "  Fly  around,  ye 
angels,  in  your  native  hants;  mingle  not 
with  rings  and  vile  laws,  flee  away,  flee 
above  them !  " 

And  he  kinder  waved  his  hand  back 
and  forth  in  a  floatin'  fashion  up  in  the 
air,  as  if  it  wuz  a  woman  flyin'  up  there 
smooth  and  serene.  It  would  have  im 
pressed  some  folks  dretful,  but  it  didn't 
me.  I  sez  reasonably: 

"  Serepta  would  have  been  glad  to 
flew  above  'em,  but  the  Ring  and  the  vile 
laws  lay  holt  of  her  onbeknown  to  her 
and  dragged  her  down.  And  there  she 
is  all  bruised  and  broken-hearted  by  'em. 
She  didn't  meddle  with  the  political 
Ring,  but  the  Ring  meddled  with  her. 
How  can  she  fly  when  the  weight  of  this 
infamous  traffic  is  holdin'  her  down?" 

"  Ahem!  "  sez  he.    "  Ahem,  as  it  were. 


"  He  Wuz  Dretful  Polite  "        87 

As  I  was  saying,  my  dear  madam,  these 
angelic  angels  of  our  homes  are  too 
ethereal,  too  dainty  to  mingle  with  rude 
crowds.  We  political  men  would  fain 
keep  them  as  they  are  now;  we  are  will 
ing  to  stand  the  rude  buffetm'  of — of— 
voting,  in  order  to  guard  these  sweet 
delicate  creatures  from  any  hardships. 
Sweet  tender  beings,  we  would  fain 
guard  thee — ah,  yes,  ah,  yes." 

Sez  I,  "  Cease  instantly,  or  my  sick 
ness  will  increase,  for  such  talk  is  like 
thoroughwort  or  lobelia  to  my  moral  and 
mental  stomach.  You  know  and  I  know 
that  these  angelic  tender  bein's,  half- 
clothed,  fill  our  streets  on  icy  midnights, 
huntin'  up  drunken  husbands  and  fathers 
and  sons.  They  are  driven  to  death  and 
to  moral  ruin  by  the  miserable  want 
liquor  drinkin'  entails.  They  are  starved, 
they  are  froze,  they  are  beaten,  they  are 
made  childless  and  hopeless  by  drunken 
husbands  killin'  their  own  flesh  and 


88  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

blood.  They  go  down  into  the  cold 
waves  and  are  drowned  by  drunken  cap 
tains;  they  are  cast  from  railways  into 
death  by  drunken  engineers;  they  go  up 
on  the  scaffold  and  die  for  crimes  com 
mitted  by  the  direct  aid  of  this  agent  of 
Hell. 

"  Wimmen  had  ruther  be  fly  in'  round 
than  to  do  all  this,  but  they  can't.  If 
men  really  believed  all  they  say  about 
wimmen,  and  I  think  some  on  'em  do  in 
a  dreamy  sentimental  way — If  wimmen 
are  angels,  give  'em  the  rights  of  angels. 
Who  ever  hearn  of  a  angel  foldin'  up 
her  wings  and  goin'  to  a  poor-house  or 
jail  through  the  fault  of  somebody  else? 
Who  ever  hearn  of  a  angel  bein'  dragged 
off  to  police  court  for  fightin'  to  defend 
her  children  and  herself  from  a  drunken 
husband  that  had  broke  her  wings  and 
blacked  her  eyes,  got  the  angel  into  the 
fight  and  then  she  got  throwed  into  the 
streets  and  imprisoned  by  it?  Who  ever 


"  He  Wuz  Dretful  Polite  "        89 

hearn  of  a  angel  havin'  to  take  in  washin' 
to  support  a  drunken  son  or  father  or 
husband?  Who  ever  hearn  of  a  angel 
goin'  out  as  wet-nurse  to  git  money  to 
pay  taxes  on  her  home  to  a  Govermunt 
that  in  theory  idolizes  her,  and  prac 
tically  despises  her,  and  uses  that  money 
in  ways  abominable  to  that  angel.  If  you 
want  to  be  consistent,  if  you're  bound  to 
make  angels  of  wimmen,  you  ort  to  fur 
nish  a  free  safe  place  for  'em  to  soar  in. 
You  ort  to  keep  the  angels  from  bein' 
tormented  and  bruised  and  killed,  etc." 
"  Ahem,"  sez  he,  "  as  it  were,  ahem." 
But  I  kep'  right  on,  for  I  begun  to 
feel  noble  and  by  the  side  of  myself: 

'  This  talk  about  wimmen  bein'  out 
side  and  above  all  participation  in  the 
laws  of  her  country,  is  jest  as  pretty  as 
anything  I  ever  hearn,  and  jest  as  sim 
ple.  Why,  you  might  jest  as  well  throw 
a  lot  of  snowflakes  into  the  street,  and 
say,  '  Some  of  'em  are  female  flakes  and 


90  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

mustn't  be  trornpled  on.'  The  great 
march  of  life  tromples  on  'em  all  alike; 
they  fall  from  one  common  sky,  and  are 
trodden  down  into  one  common  ground. 

"  Men  and  wimmen  are  made  with 
divine  impulses  and  desires,  and  human 
needs  and  weaknesses,  needin'  the  same 
heavenly  light,  and  the  same  human  aids 
and  helps.  The  law  should  mete  out 
to  them  the  same  rewards  and  punish 
ments. 

"  Serepta  sez  you  call  wimmen  angels, 
and  you  don't  give  'em  the  rights  of  the 
lowest  beasts  that  crawl  on  the  earth. 
And  Serepta  told  me  to  tell  you  that  she 
didn't  ask  the  rights  of  a  angel;  she 
would  be  perfectly  contented  and  proud, 
if  you  would  give  her  the  rights  of  a  dog 
—the  assured  political  rights  of  a  yeller 
dog.  She  said  }^eller  and  I'm  bound  on 
doin'  her  errent  jest  as  she  wanted  it 
done,  word  for  word. 

"  A  dog,  Serepta  sez,  don't  have  to  be 


"  He  Wuz  Dretful  Polite  "        91 

hung  if  it  breaks  the  laws  it  is  not  al 
lowed  any  hand  in  making;  a  dog  don't 
have  to  pay  taxes  on  its  bone  to  a  Gov- 
ermunt  that  withholds  every  right  of 
citizenship  from  it;  a  dog  hain't  called 
undogly  if  it  is  industrious  and  hunts 
quietly  round  for  its  bone  to  the  best  of 
its  ability,  and  tries  to  git  its  share  of  the 
crumbs  that  falls  from  that  table  bills 
are  laid  on. 

"  A  dog  hain't  preached  to  about  its 
duty  to  keep  home  sweet  and  sacred,  and 
then  see  that  home  turned  into  a  place 
of  danger  and  torment  under  laws  that 
these  very  preachers  have  made  legal  and 
respectable.  A  dog  don't  have  to  see  its 
property  taxed  to  advance  laws  it  be 
lieves  ruinous,  and  that  breaks  its  own 
heart  and  the  heart  of  other  dear  dogs. 
A  dog  don't  have  to  listen  to  soul-sick 
ening  speeches  from  them  that  deny  it 
freedom  and  justice,  about  its  bein'  a 
damask  rose  and  a  seraph,  when  it  knows 


92  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

it  hain't;  it  knows,  if  it  knows  anything, 
that  it  is  jest  a  plain  dog. 

*  You  see  Serepta  has  been  embittered 
by  the  trials  that  politics,  corrupt  legisla 
tion  have  brought  right  onto  her.  She 
didn't  want  nothin'  to  do  with  'em,  but 
they  come  onto  her  onexpected  and  on- 
beknown,  and  she  feels  that  she  must 
do  everything  she  can  to  alter  matters. 
She  wants  to  help  make  the  laws  that 
have  such  a  overpowerin'  influence  over 
her.  She  believes  they  can't  be  much 
worse  than  they  are  now,  and  maybe  a 
little  better." 

"Ah,"  interrupted  the  Senator,  "if 
Serepta  wishes  to  change  political  affairs, 
let  her  influence  her  children,  her  boys, 
and  they  will  carry  her  benign  and  noble 
influence  forward  into  the  centuries." 

"  But  the  law  took  her  boy,  her  little 
boy  and  girl,  away  from  her.  Through 
the  influence  of  the  Whiskey  Ring,  of 
which  her  husband  wuz  a  shinin'  member, 


"  He  Wuz  Dretful  Polite  "        93 

he  got  possession  of  her  boy.  And  so  the 
law  has  made  it  perfectly  impossible  for 
her  to  mould  it  indirectly  through  him, 
what  Serepta  duz  she  must  do  herself." 

"Ah!  my  dear  woman.  A  sad  thing 
for  Serepta;  I  trust  you  have  no  griev 
ance  of  this  kind,  I  trust  that  your  es 
timable  husband  is,  as  it  were,  estimable." 

"  Yes,  Josiah  Allen  is  a  good  man, 
as  good  as  men  can  be.  You  know  men 
or  wimmen  can't  be  only  jest  about  so 
good  anyway.  But  he's  my  choice,  and 
he  don't  drink  a  drop." 

"  Pardon  me,  madam,  but  if  you  are 
happy  in  your  married  relations,  and 
your  husband  is  a  temperate  good  man, 
why  do  you  feel  so  upon  this  subject?" 
'Why,  good  land!  if  you  understood 
the  nature  of  a  woman  you  would  know 
my  love  for  him,  my  happiness,  the  con 
tent  and  safety  I  feel  about  him  and  our 
boy,  makes  me  realize  the  sufferin's  of 
Serepta  in  havin'  her  husband  and  boy 


94  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

lost  to  her;  makes  me  realize  the  depth 
of  a  wife's  and  mother's  agony  when  she 
sees  the  one  she  loves  goin'  down,  down 
so  low  she  can't  reach  him;  makes  me 
feel  how  she  must  yearn  to  help  him  in 
some  safe  sure  way. 

"  High  trees  cast  long  shadows.  The 
happier  and  more  blessed  a  woman's  life 
is,  the  more  duz  she  feel  for  them  that 
are  less  blessed  than  she.  Highest  love 
goes  lowest,  like  that  love  that  left 
Heaven  and  descended  to  earth,  and  into 
it  that  He  might  lift  up  the  lowly.  The 
pityin'  words  of  Him  who  went  about 
pleasin'  not  Himself,  hants  me  and  in 
spires  me;  I'm  sorry  for  Serepta,  sorry 
for  the  hull  wimmen  race  of  the  nation, 
and  for  the  men  too.  Lots  of  'em  are 
good  creeters,  better  than  wimmen,  some 
on  'em.  They  want  to  do  right,  but  don't 
exactly  see  the  way  to  do  it.  In  the  old 
slavery  times  some  of  the  masters  wuz 
more  to  be  pitied  than  the  slaves.  They 


"  He  Wuz  Dretful  Polite  "        95 

could  see  the  injustice,  feel  the  wrong 
they  wuz  doin',  but  old  chains  of  Custom 
bound  'em,  social  customs  and  idees  had 
hardened  into  habits  of  thought. 

"  They  realized  the  size  and  heft  of 
the  evil,  but  didn't  know  how  to  grapple 
with  it,  and  throw  it.  So  now,  many 
men  see  the  evils  of  this  time,  want  to 
help,  but  don't  know  the  best  way  to 
lay  holt  of  'em.  Life  is  a  curious  conun 
drum  anyway,  and  hard  to  guess.  But 
we  can  try  to  git  the  right  answer  to 
it  as  fur  as  we  can.  Serepta  feels  that 
one  of  the  answers  to  the  conundrum  is 
in  gittin'  her  rights.  I  myself  have  got 
all  the  rights  I  need  or  want,  as  fur  as 
my  own  happiness  is  concerned.  My 
home  is  my  castle  (a  story  and  a  half 
wooden  one,  but  dear) .  My  towers  ele 
vate  me,  the  companionship  of  my 
friends  give  social  happiness,  our  children 
are  prosperous  and  happy.  We  have 
property  enough  for  all  the  comforts  of 


96  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

life.  And  above  all  other  things  my 
Josiah  is  my  love  and  my  theme." 

"  Ah,  yes! "  sez  he,  "  love  is  a  woman's 
empire,  and  in  that  she  should  find  her 
full  content — her  entire  happiness  and 
thought.  A  womanly  woman  will  not 
look  outside  that  lovely  and  safe  and 
beautious  empire." 

Sez  I  firmly,  "  If  she  hain't  a  idiot  she 
can't  help  it.  Love  is  the  most  beautiful 
thing  on  earth,  the  most  holy  and  satis 
fy  in'.  But  I  do  not  ask  you  as  a  poli 
tician,  but  as  a  human  bein',  which  would 
you  like  best,  the  love  of  a  strong,  earnest 
tender  nature,  for  in  man  or  woman  '  the 
strongest  are  the  tenderest,  the  loving 
are  the  daring,'  which  would  you  like 
best,  the  love  and  respect  of  such  a  nature 
full  of  wit,  of  tenderness,  of  infinite 
variety,  or  the  love  of  a  fool? 

"  A  fool's  love  is  wearin',  it  is  insipid 
at  best,  and  it  turns  to  vinegar.  Why, 
sweetened  water  must  turn  to  vinegar, 


"  He  Wuz  Dretful  Polite  "        97 

it  is  its  nater.  And  if  a  woman  is 
bright  and  true-hearted,  she  can't  help 
seein'  through  an  injustice.  She  may  be 
happy  in  her  own  home.  Domestic  af 
fection,  social  enjoyments,  the  delights 
of  a  cultured  home  and  society,  and  the 
companionship  of  the  man  she  loves  and 
who  loves  her,  will,  if  she  is  a  true 
woman,  satisfy  her  own  personal  needs 
and  desires,  and  she  would  far  ruther 
for  her  own  selfish  happiness  rest  quietly 
in  that  love,  that  most  blessed  home. 

"  But  the  bright  quick  intellect  that 
delights  you  can't  help  seein'  an  injus 
tice,  can't  help  seein'  through  shams  of 
all  kinds,  sham  sentiment,  sham  compli 
ments,  sham  justice.  The  tender  lovin' 
nature  that  blesses  your  life  can't  help 
feelin'  pity  for  them  less  blessed  than 
herself.  She  looks  down  through  the 
love-guarded  lattice  of  her  home  from 
which  your  care  would  fain  bar  out  all 
sights  of  woe  and  squaler,  she  looks  down 


98  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

and  sees  the  weary  toilers  below,  the 
hopeless,  the  wretched.  She  sees  the 
steep  hills  they  have  to  climh,  carryin' 
their  crosses,  she  sees  'em  go  down  into 
the  mire,  dragged  there  by  the  love  that 
should  lift  'em  up.  She  would  not  be 
the  woman  you  love  if  she  could  restrain 
her  hand  from  liftin'  up  the  fallen,  wipin' 
tears  from  weepin'  eyes,  speakin'  brave 
words  for  them  that  can't  speak  for 
themselves.  The  very  strength  of  her 
affection  that  would  hold  you  up  if  you 
were  in  trouble  or  disgrace  yearns  to 
help  all  sorrowin'  hearts. 

"  Down  in  your  heart  you  can't  help 
admirin'  her  for  this,  we  can't  help  re- 
spectin'  the  one  that  advocates  the  right, 
the  true,  even  if  they  are  our  conquerors. 
Wimmen  hain't  angels;  now  to  be  can 
did,  you  know  they  hain't.  They  hain't 
any  better  than  men.  Men  are  consider 
able  likely;  and  it  seems  curious  to  me 
that  they  should  act  so  in  this  one  thing. 


:<  He  Wuz  Dretful  Polite  "        99 

For  men  ort  to  be  more  honest  and  open 
than  wimmen.  They  hain't  had  to  cajole 
and  wheedle  and  use  little  trickeries  and 
deceits  and  indirect  ways  as  wimmen 
have.  Why,  cramp  a  tree  limb  and  see 
if  it  will  grow  as  straight  and  vigorous 
as  it  would  in  full  freedom  and  sun 
shine. 

"  Men  ort  to  be  nobler  than  women, 
sincerer,  braver.  And  they  ort  to  be 
ashamed  of  this  one  trick  of  theirn,  for 
they  know  they  hain't  honest  in  it,  they 
hain't  generous.  Give  wimmen  two  or 
three  generations  of  moral  and  legal 
freedom  and  see  if  men  will  laugh  at 
'em  for  their  little  deceits  and  affecta 
tions.  ]STo,  men  will  be  gentler,  and 
wimmen  nobler,  and  they  will  both  come 
nearer  bein'  angels,  though  most  prob 
able  they  won't  be  any  too  good  then, 
I  hain't  a  mite  afraid  of  it." 


VI 


"  CONCERNING  MOTH-MILLERS 
AND  MINNY  FISH  " 

THE  Senator  kinder  sithed,  and 
that  sithe  sort  o'  brought  me 
down  onto  my  feet  agin  as  it 
were,  and  a  sense  of  my  duty,  and  I 
spoke  out  agin: 

"  Can  you  and  will  you  do  Serepta's 
errents? " 

He  evaded  a  direct  answer  by  sayin', 
"  As  you  alluded  to  the  little  indirect 
ways  of  women,  dearest  madam,  you 
will  pardon  me  for  saying  that  it  is  my 
belief  that  the  soft  gentle  brains  of 
females  are  unfitted  for  the  deep  hard 
problems  men  have  to  grapple  with. 
They  are  too  doll-like,  too  angelically  and 

sweetly  frivolous." 

100 


"Moth-Millers  and 

"  No  doubt,"  sez  I,  "  some  wimmen 
are  frivolous  and  some  men  foolish,  for 
as  Mrs.  Poyser  said,  '  God  made  women 
to  match  the  men,'  but  these  few  hadn't 
ort  to  disfranchise  the  hull  race  of  men 
and  wimmen.  And  as  to  soft  brains, 
Maria  Mitchell  discovered  planets  hid 
from  masculine  eyes  from  the  beginnin' 
of  time,  and  do  you  think  that  wimmen 
can't  see  the  black  spots  on  the  body 
politic,  that  darkens  the  life  of  her  and 
her  children? 

"  Madame  Curie  discovered  the  light 
that  looks  through  solid  wood  and  iron, 
and  you  think  wimmen  can't  see  through 
unjust  laws  and  practices,  the  rampant 
evils  of  to-day,  and  see  what  is  on  the 
other  side,  see  a  remedy  for  'em.  Flor 
ence  Nightingale  could  mother  and  help 
cure  an  army,  and  why  hain't  men  willin' 
to  let  wimmen  help  cure  a  sick  legisla 
tion,  kinder  mother  it,  and  encourage  it 
to  do  better?  She  might  much  better  be 


102  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

doin'  that,  than  playin'  bridge-whist,  or 
rastlin'  with  hobble  skirts,  and  it  wouldn't 
devour  any  more  time." 

He  sot  demute  for  a  few  minutes  and 
then  he  sez,  "  While  on  the  subject  of 
women's  achievements,  dearest  madam, 
allow  me  to  ask  you,  if  they  have  reached 
the  importance  you  claim  for  them,  why. 
is  it  that  so  few  women  are  made  im 
mortal  by  bein'  represented  in  the  Hall 
of  Fame?  And  why  are  the  four  or  five 
females  represented  there  put  away  by 
themselves  in  a  remote  unadorned  corner 
with  no  roof  to  protect  them  from  the 
rough  winds  and  storms  that  beat  upon 
them?" 

Sez  I,  "  That's  a  good  illustration  of 
what  I've  been  sayin'.  It  wuz  owin' 
to  a  woman's  gift  that  America  has  a 
Hall  of  Fame,  and  it  would  seem  that 
common  courtesy  would  give  wimmen 
an  equally  desirable  place  amongst  the 
Immortals.  Do  you  spoze  that  if  women 


"Moth-Millers  and  Minny  Fish"   103 

formed  half  the  committee  of  selection— 
which  they  should  since  it  wuz  a  woman's 
gift  that  made  such  a  place  possible — do 
you  spoze  that  if  she  had  an  equal  voice 
with  men,  the  names  of  noble  wimmen 
would  be  tucked  away  in  a  remote  un 
roofed  corner? 

"  Edgar  Allan  Poe's  genius  wuz  worthy 
a  place  among  the  Immortals,  no  doubt; 
his  poems  and  stories  excite  wonder  and 
admiration.  But  do  they  move  the  soul 
like  Mrs.  Stowe's  immortal  story  that 
thrilled  the  world  and  helped  free  a 
race? — yes,  two  races — for  the  curse 
of  slavery  held  the  white  race  in  bond 
age,  too.  Yet  she  and  her  three  or  four 
woman  companions  face  the  stormy 
winds  in  an  out-of-the-way  corner,  while 
Poe  occupies  his  honorable  sightly  place 
among  his  fifty  or  more  male  com 
panions. 

1  Wimmen  have  always  been  admon 
ished  to  not  strive  for  right  and  justice 


104  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

but  to  lean  on  men's  generosity  and 
chivalry.  Here  wuz  a  place  where  that 
chivalry  would  have  shone,  but  it  didn't 
seem  to  materialize,  and  if  wimmen  had 
leaned  on  it,  it  would  have  proved  a  weak 
staff,  indeed. 

"  Such  things  as  this  are  constantly 
occurrin',  and  show  plain  that  wimmen 
needs  the  ballot  to  protect  her  from  all 
sorts  of  wrongs  and  indignities.  Men 
take  wimmen's  money,  as  they  did  here, 
and  use  it  to  uplift  themselves,  and  lower 
her,  like  taxin'  her  heavily  and  often 
unjustly  and  usin'  this  money  to  help 
forward  unjust  laws  which  she  abomi 
nates.  And  so  it  goes  on,  and  will,  until 
women  are  men's  equals  legally  and  po 
litically." 

"  Ahem — you  present  things  in  a  new 
light.  I  never  looked  at  this  matter  with 
your  eyes." 

"  No,  you  looked  at  'em  through  a 
man's  eyes;  such  things  are  so  customary 


"  Moth-Millers  and  Minny  Fish  "  105 

that  men  do  'em  without  thinkin',  from 
habit  and  custom,  like  hushin'  up  chil 
dren's  talk,  when  they  interrupt  grown 
ups." 

Agin  he  sot  demute  for  a  short  space, 
and  then  said,  "  I  feel  that  natural 
human  instinct  is  aginst  the  change.  In 
savage  races  that  knew  nothin'  of  civili 
zation,  male  force  and  strength  always 
ruled." 

"Why,"  sez  I,  "history  tells  us  of 
savage  races  where  wimmen  always  rule, 
though  I  don't  think  they  ort  to — ability 
and  goodness  ort  to  rule." 

"  Nature  is  aginst  it,"  sez  he. 

But  I  sez  firmly,  "  Bees  and  lots  of 
other  insects  and  animals  always  have  a 
female  for  queen  and  ruler.  They  rule 
blindly  and  entirely,  right  on  through  the 
centuries,  but  we  are  enlightened  and 
should  not  encourage  it.  In  my  opinion 
the  male  bee  has  just  as  good  a  right 


106  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

to  be  monarch  as  his  female  pardner  has, 
if  he  is  as  good  and  knows  as  much.  I 
never  believed  in  the  female  workin'  ones 
killin'  off  the  male  drones  to  save  win- 
terin'  'em ;  they  might  give  'em  some  light 
chores  to  do  round  the  hive  to  pay  for 
their  board.  I  love  justice  and  that  would 
be  my  way." 

Agin  he  sithed.  "  Modern  history 

don't  seem  to  favor  the  scheme '  But 

his  axent  wuz  as  weak  as  a  cat  and  his 
boughten  smile  seemed  crackin'  and  wear- 
in'  out;  he  knowed  better. 

Sez  I,  "  We  won't  argy  long  on  that 
p'int,  for  I  might  overwhelm  you  if  I 
approved  of  overwhelmin',  but,  will  mere 
ly  ask  you  to  cast  one  eye  on  England. 
Was  the  rain  of  Victoria  the  Good  less 
peaceful  and  prosperous  than  that  of  the 
male  rulers  who  preceded  her?  And  you 
can  then  throw  your  other  eye  over  to 
Holland:  is  their  sweet  queen  less 
worthy  and  beloved  to-day  than  other 


"  Moth-Millers  and  Minny  Fish  "   107 

European  monarchs?  And  is  her 
throne  more  shaky  and  tottlin'  than 
theirn?" 

He  didn't  try  to  dispute  me  and  bowed 
his  head  on  his  breast  in  a  almost  meach- 
in'  way.  He  knowed  he  wuz  beat  on 
every  side,  and  almost  to  the  end  of  his 
chain  of  rusty,  broken  old  arguments. 
But  anon  he  brightened  up  agin  and  sez, 
ketchin'  holt  of  the  last  shackly  link  of  his 
argument : 

"  You  seem  to  place  a  great  deal  of  de 
pendence  on  the  Bible.  The  Bible  is 
aginst  the  idee.  The  Bible  teaches  man's 
supremacy,  man's  absolute  power  and 
might  and  authority." 

"  Why,  how  you  talk,"  sez  I.  "  In  the 
very  first  chapter  the  Bible  tells  how  man 
wuz  turned  right  round  by  a  woman,  tells 
how  she  not  only  turned  man  round  to  do 
as  she  wanted  him  to,  but  turned  the  hull 
wrorld  over. 

"  That  hain't  nothin'  I  approve  of;    I 


108  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

don't  speak  of  it  because  I  like  the  idee. 
That  wuzn't  done  in  a  open  honorable 
manner  as  things  should  be  done.  No, 
Eve  ruled  by  indirect  influence,  the 
gently  influencing  men  way,  that  politi 
cians  are  so  fond  of.  And  she  brought 
ruin  and  destruction  onto  the  hull  world 
by  it. 

"  A  few  years  later  when  men  and  wim- 
men  grew  wiser,  when  we  hear  of  wim- 
men  rulin'  Israel  openly  and  honestly, 
like  Miriam,  Deborah  and  other  likely  old 
four  mothers,  things  went  on  better. 
They  didn't  act  meachin'  and  tempt,  and 
act  indirect." 

He  sithed  powerful  and  sot  round  on- 
easy  in  his  chair.  And  sez  he,  "  I  thought 
wimmen  wuz  taught  by  the  Bible  to 
serve  and  love  their  homes." 

"  So  they  be.  And  every  true  woman 
loves  to  serve.  Home  is  my  supreme  hap 
piness  and  delight,  and  my  best  happiness 
is  found  in  servin'  them  I  love.  But  I 


"  Moth-Millers  and  Minny  Fish  "  109 

must  tell  the  truth,  in  the  house  or  out 
doors." 

Sez  he  faintly,  "  The  Old  Testament 
may  teach  that  women  have  some 
strength  and  power.  But  in  the  Xew 
Testament  in  every  great  undertakin'  and 
plan  men  have  been  chosen  by  God  to 
carry  them  through." 

"Why-ee!"  sez  I,  "how  you  talk! 
Have  you  ever  read  the  Bible?  " 

He  said  evasively,  his  grandmother 
owned  one,  and  he  had  seen  it  in  early 
youth.  And  then  he  went  on  in  a  sort 
of  apologizin'  way.  He  had  always 
meant  to  read  it,  but  he  had  entered 
political  life  at  an  early  age  where  the 
Bible  wuzn't  popular,  and  he  believed 
that  he  had  never  read  further  than  the 
Epistles  of  Gulliver  to  the  Liliputians. 

Sez  I,  "  That  hain't  Bible,  there  hain't 
no  Gulliver  in  it,  and  you  mean  Gala- 
tians." 

Well,  he  said,  that  might  be  it,  it  wuz 


110  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

some  man  he  knew,  and  he  had  always 
heard  and  believed  that  man  wuz  the  only 
worker  that  God  had  chosen. 

"  Why,"  sez  I,  "  the  one  great  theme  of 
the  New  Testament — the  salvation  of  the 
world  through  the  birth  of  Christ — no 
man  had  anything  to  do  with.  Our  divine 
Lord  wuz  born  of  God  and  Woman. 
Heavenly  plan  of  redemption  for  fallen 
humanity.  God  Himself  called  woman 
into  that  work,  the  divine  work  of  saving 
a  world,  and  why  shouldn't  she  continue 
in  it?  God  called  her.  Mary  had  no 
dream  of  publicity,  no  desire  of  a  world's 
work  of  suffering  and  renunciation.  The 
soft  air  of  Galilee  wropped  her  about  in 
its  sweet  content,  as  she  dreamed  her 
quiet  dreams  in  maiden  peace — dreamed, 
perhaps,  of  domestic  love  and  happiness. 

"  From  that  sweetest  silence,  the  restful 
peace  of  happy  innocent  girlhood,  God 
called  her  to  her  divine  work  of  helpin' 
redeem  a  world  from  sin.  And  did  not 


He'd  entered  political  life  where  the   Bible  wuzn't  popular  ;  he'd 
never  read  further  than  Gulliver's  Epistle  to  the  Liliputians." 


"Moth-Millers  and  Minny  Fish"  111 

this  woman's  love  and  willin'  obedience, 
and  suffer-in'  set  her  apart,  baptize  her  for 
this  work  of  liftin'  up  the  fallen,  helpin' 
the  weak? 

"Is  it  not  a  part  of  woman's  life  that 
she  gave  at  the  birth  and  crucifixion? 
Her  faith,  her  hope,  her  sufferin',  her 
glow  of  divine  pity  and  joyful  martyr 
dom.  These,  mingled  with  the  divine,  the 
pure  heavenly,  have  they  not  for  nineteen 
hundred  years  been  blessin'  the  world? 
The  God  in  Christ  would  awe  us  too 
much;  we  would  shield  our  eyes  from  the 
too  blindin'  glory  of  the  pure  God-like. 
But  the  tender  Christ  who  wept  over  a 
sinful  city,  and  the  grave  of  His  friend, 
who  stopped  dyin'  on  the  cross  to  com 
fort  His  mother's  heart,  provide  for  her 
future — it  is  this  womanly  element  in  our 
Lord's  nature  that  makes  us  dare  to  ap 
proach  Him,  dare  to  kneel  at  His  feet? 

"  And  since  woman  wuz  so  blessed  as  to 
be  counted  worthy  to  be  co-worker  with 


112  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

God  in  the  beginnin'  of  the  world's  re 
demption;  since  He  called  her  from  the 
quiet  obscurity  of  womanly  rest  and 
peace  into  the  blessed  martyrdom  of  re 
nunciation  and  toil  and  sufferin',  all  to 
help  a  world  that  cared  nothin'  for  her, 
that  cried  out  shame  upon  her. 

"  He  will  help  her  carry  on  the  work 
of  helpin'  a  sinful  world.  He  will  pro 
tect  her  in  it,  she  cannot  be  harmed  or 
hindered,  for  the  cause  she  loves  of  helpin' 
men  and  wimmen,  is  God's  cause  too,  and 
God  will  take  care  of  His  own.  Herods 
full  of  greed  and  frightened  selfishness 
may  try  to  break  her  heart  by  efforts  to 
kill  the  child  she  loves,  but  she  will  hold 
it  so  clost  to  her  bosom  he  can't  destroy 
it;  and  the  light  of  the  Divine  will  go 
before  her,  showin'  the  way  through  the 
desert  and  wilderness  mebby,  but  she 
shall  bear  it  into  safety." 

"  You  spoke  of  Herod,"  sez  he 
dreamily,  "  the  name  sounds  familiar  to 


"  Moth-Millers  and  Minny  Fish  "  113 

me.     Was  not  Mr.  Herod  once  in  the 
United  States  Senate?" 

"  Not  that  one,"  sez  I.  "  He  died  some 
time  ago,  but  I  guess  he  has  relatives 
there  now,  judgin'  from  laws  made  there. 
You  ask  who  Herod  wuz,  and  as  it  all 
seems  a  new  story  to  you,  I  will  tell  you. 
When  the  Saviour  of  the  world  wuz  born 
in  Bethlehem,  and  a  woman  wuz  tryin' 
to  save  His  life,  a  man  by  the  name  of 
Herod  wuz  tryin'  his  best  out  of  selfish 
ness  and  greed  to  murder  Him." 

"  Ah!  that  was  not  right  in  Herod." 
"  No,  it  hain't  been  called  so.  And 
what  wuzn't  right  in  him  hain't  right  in 
his  relations  who  are  tryin'  to  do  the  same 
thing  to-day.  Sellin'  for  money  the  right 
to  destroy  the  child  the  mother  carries  on 
her  heart.  Surroundin'  him  with  tempta 
tions  so  murderous,  yet  so  enticin'  to 
youthful  spirits,  that  the  mother  feels  that 
as  the  laws  are  now,  the  grave  is  the  only 
place  of  safety  that  God  Himself  can 


114  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

find  for  her  boy.  But  because  Herod 
wuz  so  mean  it  hain't  no  sign  that  all  men 
are  mean.  Joseph  wuz  as  likely  as  he 
could  be." 

"  Joseph?  "  sez  he  pensively.  "  Do  you 
allude  to  our  venerable  speaker,  Joe  Can 
non?  " 

"  No/'  sez  I.  "  I'm  talkin'  Bible— I'm 
talkin'  about  Joseph;  jest  plain  Joseph." 

"Ah!  I  see.  I  am  not  fully  familiar 
with  that  work.  Being  so  engrossed  in 
politics,  and  political  literature,  I  don't 
git  any  time  to  devote  to  less  important 
publications." 

Sez  I  candidly,  "  I  knew  you  hadn't 
read  it  the  minute  you  mentioned  the  book 
of  Liliputians.  But  as  I  wuz  sayin', 
Joseph  wuz  a  likely  man.  He  had  the 
strength  to  lead  the  way,  overcome  ob 
stacles,  keep  dangers  from  Mary,  protect 
her  tenderer  form  with  the  mantilly  of  his 
generous  devotion. 

ff  But   she   carried   the   Child   on   her 


"Moth-Millers  and  Minny  Fish"  115 

bosom;  ponderin'  high  things  in  her  heart 
that  Joseph  never  dreamed  of.  That  is 
what  is  wanted  now,  and  in  the  future. 
The  man  and  the  woman  walkin'  side  by 
side.  He  a  little  ahead,  mebby,  to  keep 
off  dangers  by  his  greater  strength  and 
courage.  She  a-carryin'  the  infant  Christ 
of  Love,  bearin'  the  baby  Peace  in  her 
bosom,  carryin'  it  into  safety  from  them 
that  seek  to  destroy  it. 

"  And  as  I  said  before,  if  God  called 
woman  into  this  work,  He  will  enable  her 
to  carry  it  through.  He  will  protect  her 
from  her  own  weaknesses,  and  the  mis 
apprehensions  and  hard  judgments  and 
injustices  of  a  gain-say  in'  world. 

"  Yes,  the  star  of  hope  is  risin'  in  the 
sky  brighter  and  brighter,  and  wise  men 
are  even  now  comin'  to  the  mother  of  the 
new  Redeemer,  led  by  the  star." 

He  sot  dqmute.  Silence  rained  for 
some  time;  and  finally  I  spoke  out  sol 
emnly  through  the  rain: 


116  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

"Will  you  do  Serepta's  errents?  Will 
you  give  her  her  rights?  And  will  you 
break  the  Whiskey  Ring?" 

He  said  he  would  love  to  do  the  er 
rents,  I  had  convinced  him  that  k  would 
be  just  and  right  to  do  'ern,  but  the  Con 
stitution  of  the  United  States  stood  up 
firm  aginst  'em.  As  the  laws  of  the 
United  States  wuz,  he  could  not  make 
any  move  toward  doin'  either  of  the  er 
rents. 

Sez  I,  "  Can't  the  laws  be  changed?  " 

"Be  changed?  Change  the  laws  of  the 
United  States?  Tamper  with  the  glo 
rious  Constitution  that  our  fore-fathers 
left  us — an  immortal  sacred  legacy." 

He  jumped  up  on  his  feet  and  his  sec 
ond-hand  smile  fell  off.  He  kinder  shook 
as  if  he  wuz  skairt  most  to  death  and 
tremblin'  with  borrow.  He  did  it  to  skair 
me,  I  knew,  but  I  knowed  I  meant  well 
towards  the  Constitution  and  our  old  fore 
fathers;  and  my  principles  stiddied  me 


"  Moth-Millers  and  Minny  Fish  "  117 

and  held  me  firm  and  serene.  And  when 
he  asked  me  agin  in  tones  full  of  awe  and 
horrow : 

"  Can  it  be  that  I  heard  my  ear  aright? 
Or  did  you  speak  of  changin'  the  unalter 
able  laws  of  the  United  States — tamper 
ing  with  the  Constitution?" 

"  Yes,  that  is  what  I  said.  Hain't  they 
never  been  changed? " 

He  dropped  that  skairful  look  and 
put  on  a  firm  judicial  one.  He  see  that 
he  could  not  skair  me  to  death;  an'  sez 
he,  "  Oh,  yes,  they've  been  changed  in 
cases  of  necessity." 

Sez  I,  "  For  instance  durin'  the  Oncivil 
war  it  wuz  changed  to  make  Northern 
men  cheap  bloodhounds  and  hunters." 

'  Yes,"  he  said,  "  it  seemed  to  be  a  case 
of  necessity  and  economy." 

"  I  know  it,"  sez  I;  "  men  wuz  cheaper 
than  any  other  breed  of  bloodhounds  the 
slave-holders  could  employ  to  hunt  men 
and  wimmen  with,  and  more  faithful." 


118  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 
"  Yes,"  he  said,  "  it  wuz  a  case  of  clear 


economy." 


And  sez  I:  "The  laws  have  been 
changed  to  benefit  liquor  dealers." 

"Well,  yes,"  he  said,  "it  had  been 
changed  to  enable  whiskey  dealers  to  uti 
lize  the  surplus  liquor  they  import." 

Sez  he,  gittin'  kinder  animated,  for  he 
wuz  on  a  congenial  and  familar  theme, 
"  Nobody,  the  best  calculators  in  drunk 
ards,  can  exactly  calculate  how  much 
whiskey  will  be  drunk  in  a  year;  and  so, 
ruther  than  have  the  whiskey  dealers  suf 
fer  loss,  the  law  had  to  be  changed.  And 
then,"  sez  he,  growin'  still  more  candid 
in  his  excitement,  "  we  are  makin'  a 
powerful  effort  to  change  the  laws  now 
so  as  to  take  the  tax  off  of  whiskey,  so  it 
can  be  sold  cheaper,  and  obtained  in 
greater  quantities  by  the  masses.  Any 
such  great  lawrs  would  justify  a  change 
in  the  Constitution  and  the  laws;  but  for 
any  frivolous  cause,  any  trivial  cause, 


"Moth-Millers  and  Minny  Fish"  119 

madam,  we  male  custodians  of  the  sacred 
Constitution  stand  as  walls  of  iron  before 
it,  guarding  it  from  any  shadow  of 
change.  Faithful  we  will  be,  faithful 
unto  death." 

Sez  I,  "  As  it  has  been  changed,  it  can 
be  agin.  And  you  jest  said  I  had  con 
vinced  you  that  Serepta's  errents  wuz 
errents  of  truth  and  justice,  and  you 
would  love  to  do  'em." 

"  Well,  yes,  yes — I  would  love  to — as  it 

were .  But,  my  dear  madam,  much  as 

I  would  like  to  oblige  you,  I  have  not  the 
time  to  devote  to  the  cause  of  Right  and 
Justice.  I  don't  think  you  realize  the 
constant  pressure  of  hard  work  that  is 
ageing  us  and  wearing  us  out,  before  our 
day. 

"  As  I  said,  we  have  to  watch  the  liquor 
interest  constantly  to  see  that  the  liquor 
dealers  suffer  no  loss — we  have  to  do  that, 
of  course." 

And  he  continued  dreamily,  as  if  losin' 


120  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

sight  of  me  and  talkin'  to  himself:  "  The 
wealthy  Corporations  and  Trusts,  we 
have  to  condemn  them  loudly  to  please 
the  common  people,  and  help  'em  secretly 
to  please  ourselves,  or  our  richest  per- 
kisits  are  lost.  The  Canal  Ring,  the  In 
dian  Agency,  the  Land  Grabbers,  the 
political  bosses.  In  fact,  we  are  sur 
rounded  by  a  host  of  bandits  that  we  have 
to  appease  and  profit  by;  oh,  how  these 
matters  wear  into  the  gray  matter  of  our 
brains! " 

"  Gray  matter!"  sez  I,  with  my  nose 
uplifted  to  its  extremest  height,  "  I  should 
call  it  black  matter!" 

"  Well,  the  name  is  immaterial,  but 
these  labors,  though  pocket  filling,  are 
brain  wearing.  And  of  late  I  and  the  rest 
of  our  loyal  henchmen  have  been  worn 
out  in  our  labors  in  tariff  revision.  You 
know  how  we  claim  to  help  the  common 
people  by  the  revision;  you've  probable 
read  about  it  in  the  papers." 


"  Moth-Millers  and  Minny  Fish  "  121 

"  Yes,"  sez  I  coldly,  "  I've  hearn  talk" 

"  Yes,"  sez  he,  "  but  if  we  do  succeed, 
after  the  most  strenious  efforts  in  getting 
the  duty  off  champagne,  green  turtle, 
olives,  etc.,  and  put  on  to  sugar,  tea,  cot 
ton  cloth  and  such  like,  with  all  this  brain 
fag  and  brain  labor " 

"And  tongue  labor!"  sez  I  in  a  icy 
axent. 

'  Yes,  after  all  this  ceaseless  toil  the 
common  people  will  not  show  any  grati 
tude;  we  statesmen  labor  oft  with  aching 
hearts."  And  he  leaned  his  forward  on 
his  hand  and  sithed. 

But  my  looks  wuz  like  ice-suckles  on 
the  north  side  of  a  barn.  And  I  stopped 
his  complaints  and  his  sithes  by  askin'  in 
a  voice  that  demanded  a  reply: 

"  Can  you  and  will  you  do  Serepta's 
errents?  Errents  full  of  truth  and  jus 
tice  and  eternal  right? " 

He  said  he  knew  they  wuz  jest  runnin' 
over  with  them  qualities,  but  happy  as  it 


122  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

would  make  him  to  do  'em,  he  had  to 
refuse  owin'  to  the  fur  more  important 
matters  he  had  named,  and  the  many, 
many  other  laws  and  preambles  that  he 
hadn't  time  to  name  over  to  me.  "  Mebby 
you  have  heard,"  sez  he,  "  that  we  are 
now  engaged  in  making  most  important 
laws  concerning  moth-millers,  and  minny 
fish,  and  hog  cholera.  And  take  it  with 
these  important  bills  and  the  constant 
strain  on  our  minds  in  tryin'  to  pass  laws 
to  increase  our  own  salaries,  you  can  see 
jest  how  cramped  we  are  for  time.  And 
though  we  would  love  to  pass  some  laws 
of  truth  and  righteousness — we  fairly 
ache  to — yet  not  havin'  the  requisite  time 
we  are  forced  to  lay  'em  on  the  table  or 
under  it." 

"  Well,"  sez  I,  "  I  guess  I  may  as  well 
be  a-goin'."  And  I  bid  him  a  cool  good 
bye  and  started  for  the  door.  But  jest 
as  my  hand  wuz  on  the  nub  he  jumped 
up  and  opened  the  door,  wearin'  that 


"  Moth-Millers  and  Minny  Fish  "  123 

boughten  second-hand  smile  agin  on  his 
linement,  and  sez  he: 

"  Dear  madam,  perhaps  Senator  B. 
will  do  the  errents  for  you." 

Sez  I,  "  Where  is  Senator  B.?  "  And 
he  said  I  would  find  him  at  his  Post  of 
Duty  at  the  Capitol. 

"  Well,"  I  said,  "  I  will  hunt  up  the 
Post,"  and  did.  A  grand  enough  place 
for  a  Emperor  or  a  Zar  is  the  Capitol  of 
our  great  nation  where  I  found  him,  a 
good  natured  lookin'  boy  in  buttons 
showin'  me  the  Post. 


VII 

"NO  HAMPERIN'  HITCHIN' 
STRAPS " 

WELL,  Senator  B.  wanted  to  do 
the  errents  but  said  it  wuz  not 
his  place,  and  sent  me  to  Sena 
tor  C.,  and  he  almost  cried,  he  wanted  to 
do  'em  so  bad,  but  stern  duty  tied  him  to 
his  Post,  he  said,  and  he  sent  me  to  Sena 
tor  D.,  and  he  did  cry  onto  his  handker 
chief,  he  wanted  to  do  the  errents  so  bad, 
and  said  it  would  be  such  a  good  thing  to 
have  'em  done.  He  bust  right  into  tears 
as  he  said  he  had  to  refuse  to  do  'em. 
Whether  they  wuz  wet  tears  or  dry  ones 
I  couldn't  tell,  his  handkerchief  wuz  so 
big,  but  I  hearn  his  sithes,  and  they  wuz 
deep  and  powerful  ones. 

But  as  I  sez  to  him,  "  Wet  tears,  nor 

124 


"  No  Hamperin'  Hitchin'  Straps  "    125 

dry  ones,  nor  windy  sithes  didn't  help  do 
the  errents.  "  So  I  went  on  his  sobbin' 
advice  to  Senator  E.,  and  he  wuz  huffy 
and  didn't  want  to  do  'em  and  said  so. 
And  said  his  wife  had  thirteen  children, 
and  wimmen  instead  of  votin'  ort  to  go 
and  do  likewise. 

And  I  told  him  it  wouldn't  look  well 
in  onmarried  wimmen  and  widders,  and  if 
they  should  foller  her  example  folks 
would  talk. 

And  he  said,  "  They  ort  to  marry." 

And  I  said,  "  As  the  fashion  is  now, 
wimmen  had  to  wait  for  some  man  to  ask 
'em,  and  if  they  didn't  come  up  to  the 
mark  and  ask  'em,  who  wuz  to  blame? " 

He  wouldn't  answer,  and  looked  sulky, 
but  honest,  and  wouldn't  tell  me  who  to 
go  to  to  git  the  errents  done. 

But  jest  outside  his  door  I  met  the 
Senator  I  had  left  sobbin'  over  the  er 
rents.  He  looked  real  hilarious,  but 
drawed  his  face  down  when  he  ketched 


126  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

my  eye,  and  sithed  several  times,  and  sent 
me  to  Senator  F.  and  he  sent  me  to 
Senator  G. 

And  suffice  it  to  say  I  wuz  sent  round, 
and  talked  to,  and  cried  at,  and  sulked 
to,  and  smiled  at  and  scowled  at,  and 
encouraged  and  discouraged,  'till  my 
head  swum  and  my  knees  wobbled 
under  me.  And  with  all  my  efforts 
and  outlay  of  oratory  and  shue  leather 
not  one  of  Serepta  Fester's  errents  could 
I  git  done,  and  no  hopes  held  out  of  their 
ever  bein'  done.  And  about  the  middle  of 
the  afternoon  I  gin  up,  there  wuz  no  use 
in  try  in'  any  longer  and  I  turned  my 
weary  tracks  towards  the  outside  door. 
But  as  bad  as  I  felt,  I  couldn't  help  my 
sperit  bein'  lifted  up  some  by  the  gran 
deur  about  me. 

Oh,  my  land!  to  stand  in  the  immense 
hall  and  look  up,  and  up,  and  see  all  the 
colors  of  the  rain-bow  and  see  what  won- 
derful  pictures  there  wuz  up  there  in  the 


"  No  Hamperin'  Hitchin'  Straps  "   127 

sky  above  me  as  it  were.  Why,  it  seemed 
curiouser  than  any  Northern  lights  I  ever 
see  in  my  life,  and  they  stream  up  dretful 
curious  sometimes.  And  as  I  walked 
through  that  lofty  and  most  beautiful 
place  and  realized  the  size  and  majestic 
proportions  of  the  buildin'  I  wondered 
to  ntyself  that  a  small  law,  a  little  unjust 
law  could  ever  be  passed  in  such  grand 
and  magnificent  surroundin's.  And  I 
sez  to  myself,  it  can't  be  the  fault  of  the 
place  anyway;  the  law-makers  have  a 
-chance  for  their  souls  to  soar  if  they  want 
to,  here  is  room  and  to  spare  to  pass  laws 
big  as  elephants  and  camels,  and  I  won 
dered  that  they  should  ever  try  to  pass 
laws  as  small  as  muskeeters  and  nats. 
Thinkses  I,  I  wonder  them  little  laws 
don't  git  to  strollin'  round  and  git  lost 
in  them  magnificent  corridors.  But  I 
consoled  myself,  thinkin'  it  wouldn't  be 
no  great  loss  if  they  did.  But  right  here, 
as  I  wuz  thinkin'  on  these  deep  and  lofty 


128  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

subjects,  I  met  the  good  natured  young 
chap  that  had  showed  me  round  and  he 
sez: 

"You  look  fatigued,  mom."  (Soarin' 
even  to  yourself  is  tuckerin'.)  "You 
look  very  fatigued ;  won't  you  take  some 
thing?  " 

I  looked  at  him  with  a  curious  silent 
sort  of  a  look;  for  I  didn't  know  what 
he  meant.  Agin  he  looked  clost  at  me 
and  sort  o'  pityin' ;  and  sez  he,  ' '  You 
look  tired  out,  mom.  Won't  you  take 
something?  Let  me  treat  you  to  some 
thing;  what  will  you  take,  mom?  " 

I  thought  he  wuz  actin'  dretful  liberal, 
but  I  knew  they  had  strange  ways  in 
Washington  anyway.  And  I  didn't  know 
but  it  wuz  their  way  to  make  some  pres 
ent  to  every  woman  that  comes  there,  and 
I  didn't  want  to  act  awkward  and  out  of 
style,  so  I  sez: 

"  I  don't  want  to  take  anything,  and 
don't  see  any  reason  why  you  should  in- 


"  No  Hamperin'  Hitchin'  Straps  "    129 

sist  on't.  But  if  I  have  got  to  take  sun- 
thin'  I  had  jest  as  soon  have  a  few  yards 
of  factory  cloth  as  anything.  That  al 
ways  comes  handy." 

I  thought  that  if  he  wuz  determined  to 
treat  me  to  show  his  good  feelin's  towards 
me,  I  would  git  sunthin'  useful  and  that 
would  do  me  some  good,  else  what  wuz 
the  good  of  bein'  treated?  And  I  thought 
that  if  I  had  got  to  take  a  present  from 
a  strange  man,  I  would  make  a  shirt  for 
Josiah  out  of  it.  I  thought  that  would 
save  jealousy  and  make  it  right  so  fur  as 
goodness  went. 

"  But,"  sez  he,  "  I  mean  beer  or  wine 
or  liquor  of  some  kind." 

I  riz  right  up  in  my  shues  and  dignity, 
and  glared  at  him. 

Sez  he,  '  There  is  a  saloon  right  here 
handy  in  the  buildin'." 

Sez  I  in  awful  axents,  "  It  is  very  ap 
propriate  to  have  it  here  handy!  "  Sez  I, 
"  Liquor  duz  more  towards  makin'  the 


130  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

laws  of  the  United  States  from  Caucus 
to  Convention  than  anything  else  duz, 
and  it  is  highly  proper  to  have  it  here 
so  they  can  soak  the  laws  in  it  right  off 
before  they  lay  'em  onto  the  table  or 
under  'em,  or  pass  'em  onto  the  people. 
It  is  highly  appropriate,"  sez  I. 

'  Yes,"  sez  he.  "It  is  very  handy  for 
the  Senators  and  Congressmen,  and  let 
me  get  you  a  glass." 

"  No,  you  won't!  "  sez  I  firmly.  "  The 
nation  suffers  enough  from  that  room 
now  without  havin'  Josiah  Allen's  wife 
let  in." 

Sez  he,  "If  you  have  any  feeling  of 
delicacy  in  goin'  in  there,  let  me  make 
some  wine  here.  I  will  get  a  glass  of 
water  and  make  you  some  pure  grape 
wine,  or  French  brandy,  or  corn  or  rye 
whiskey.  I  have  all  the  drugs  right 
here."  And  he  took  a  little  box  out  of 
his  pocket.  "  My  father  is  a  importer  of 
rare  old  wines,  and  I  know  just  how  it 


"  No  Hamperin'  Hitchin'  Straps  "    131 

is  done.  I  have  'em  all  here,  Capsicum, 
Coculus  Indicus,  alum,  copperas,  strych- 
nine;  I  will  make  some  of  the  choicest, 
oldest,  and  purest  imported  liquors  we 
have  in  the  country,  in  five  minutes  if 
you  say  so." 

"  No!  "  sez  I  firmly,  "  when  I  want  to 
foller  Cleopatra's  fashion  and  commit 
suicide,  I  will  hire  a  rattlesnake  and  take 
my  pizen  as  she  did,  on  the  outside." 

Well,  I  got  back  to  Hiram  Cagwin's 
tired  as  a  dog,  and  Serepta's  errents  on- 
done.  But  my  conscience  opholded  me 
and  told  me  I  had  done  my  very  best,  and 
man  or  woman  can  do  no  more. 

Well,  the  next  day  but  one  wuz  the 
big  outdoor  suffrage  meetin'.  And  we  sot 
off  in  good  season,  Hiram  feelin'  wrell 
enough  to  be  left  with  the  hired  help. 
Polly  started  before  we  did  with  some  of 
her  college  mates,  lookin'  pretty  as  a  pink 
with  a  red  rose  pinned  over  a  achin'  heart, 
so  I  spoze,  for  she  loved  the  young  man 


132  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

who  wuz  out  with  another  girl  May- 
flowering.  Burnin'  zeal  and  lofty  prin 
ciple  can't  take  the  place  in  a  woman's 
heart  of  love  and  domestic  happiness,  and 
men  needn't  be  afraid  it  will.  There  is 
no  more  danger  on't  than  there  is  of  a 
settin'  hen  wantin'  to  leave  her  nest  to  be 
a  commercial  traveler.  Nature  has  made 
laws  for  wimmen  and  hens  that  no  ballot, 
male  or  female,  can  upset. 

Josiah  and  Lorinda  and  I  went  in  the 
trolley  in  good  season,  so's  to  git  a  sightly 
place,  Lorinda  protestin'  all  the  time 
aginst  the  indelicacy  and  impropriety  of 
wimmen's  appearin'  in  outdoor  meetin's, 
forgittin',  I  spose,  the  dense  procession  of 
wimmen  that  fills  the  avenues  every  day, 
follerin'  Fashion  and  Display.  As  nigh 
as  I  could  make  out  the  impropriety  con 
sisted  in  wimmen's  follerin'  after  Justice 
and  Right. 

Josiah's  face  looked  dubersome.  I 
guess  he  wuz  worryin'  over  his  offer  to 


"  No  Hamperin'  Hitchin'  Straps  "    133 

represent  me,  and  thinkin'  of  Aunt  Susan 
and  the  twins. 

But  as  it  turned  out  I  met  Diantha 
while  Josiah  wuz  in  a  shop  buyin'  some 
peppermint  lozengers,  and  she  said  her 
niece  had  come  from  the  West,  and  they 
got  along  all  right.  So  that  lifted  my 
burden.  But  I  thought  best  not  to  tell 
Josiah,  as  he  wuz  so  bound  to  represent 
me.  I  thought  it  wouldn't  do  any  hurt  to 
let  him  think  it  over  about  the  job  a  man 
took  on  himself  when  he  sot  out  to  repre 
sent  a  woman.  They  wouldn't  like  it  in 
lots  of  ways,  as  willin'  as  they  seem  to 
be  in  print. 

Wimmen  go  through  lots  of  things 
calm  and  patient  that  would  make  a  man 
flinch  and  shy  off  like  a  balky  horse,  and 
visey  versey.  I  wouldn't  want  to  repre 
sent  Josiah  lots  of  times,  breakin'  colts, 
ploughin'  greensward,  cuttin'  cord-wood 
etc.,  etc.  Men  and  wimmen  want  equal 
legal  rights  to  represent  themselves  and 


134  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

their  own  sex  which  are  different,  and 
always  must  be,  and  both  sexes  don't 
want  to  be  hampered  and  sot  down  on 
by  the  other  one.  That  is  gauldin'  to 
human  nater,  male  or  female. 

We  got  a  good  place  nigh  the  speakers' 
stand,  and  we  hadn't  stood  there  long 
before  the  parade  hove  in  sight,  the  yeller 
banners  streamin'  out  like  sunshine  on 
a  rainy  day,  police  outriders,  music, 
etc. 

More  than  a  hundred  automobiles  led 
the  parade  and  five  times  as  many  wim- 
men  walkin'  afoot.  A  big  grand-stand 
with  the  lady  speakers  and  their  friends 
on  it,  all  dressed  pretty  as  pinks.  For  the 
old  idee  that  suffragists  don't  care  for  at 
tractive  dress  and  domestic  life  wuz  ex 
ploded  long  ago,  and  many  other  old 
superstitions  went  up  in  the  blaze. 

Those  of  us  who  have  gray  hair  can  re 
member  when  if  a  man  spoke  favorably 
of  women's  rights  the  sarcastic  question 


"  No  Hamperin'  Hitchin'  Straps  "   135 

was  asked  him:  "How  old  is  Susan  B. 
Anthony?" 

And  this  fine  wit  and  cuttin'  ridicule 
would  silence  argument  and  quench  the 
spirit  of  the  upholder. 

But  the  world  moves.  Susan's  memory 
is  beloved  and  revered,  and  the  contemp- 
tious  ridicule  of  the  onthinkin'  and  igno 
rant  only  nourished  the  laurels  the  world 
lays  on  her  tomb. 

At  that  time  accordin'  to  popular 
opinion  a  suffragist  wuz  a  slatternly  wo 
man  with  uncombed  locks,  dangling  shoe 
strings,  and  bloomers,  stridin'  through 
an  unswept  house  onmindful  of  dirty 
children  or  hungry  husband,  but  the 
world  moves  onward  and  public  opinion 
with  it.  Suffragists  are  the  best  mothers, 
the  best  housekeepers,  the  best  dressers  of 
any  wimmen  in  the  land.  Search  the 
records  and  you'll  find  it  so,  and  why? 

Because  they  know  sunthin',  it  takes 
common  sense  to  make  a  gooseberry  pie 


136  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

as  it  ort  to  be.  And  the  more  a  woman 
knows  and  the  more  justice  she  demands, 
the  better  for  her  husband.  The  same 
sperit  that  rebels  at  tyranny  and  injustice 
rebels  at  dirt,  disorder,  discomfort,  and 
all  unpleasant  conditions. 

I  looked  ahead  with  my  mind's  eye  and 
see  them  pretty  college  girls  settled  down 
in  pleasant  homes  of  their  own,  where 
sanitary  laws  prevailed,  where  the  babies 
wuzn't  fed  pickles  and  cabbage,  and  kep' 
in  air-tight  enclosures.  Where  the  hus 
bands  did  not  have  to  go  outside  their 
own  homes  to  find  cheer  and  comfort,  and 
intelligent  conversation,  and  where  Love 
and  Common  Sense  walked  hand  in  hand 
toward  Happiness  and  Contentment, 
Justice,  with  her  blinders  offen  her  eyes, 
goin'  ahead  on  'em.  I  never  liked  the 
idee  of  Justice  wearin'  them  bandages 
over  her  eyes.  She  ort  to  have  both  eyes 
open;  if  anybody  ever  needed  good  eye 
sight  she  duz,  to  choose  the  straight  and 


"  No  Hamperin'  Hitchin'  Straps  "   137 

narrer  road,  lookin'  backward  to  see  the 
mistakes  she  has  made  in  the  past,  so's 
to  shun  'em  in  the  future,  and  lookin'  all 
round  her  in  the  present  to  see  where  she 
can  help  matters,  and  lookin'  fur  off  in 
the  future  to  the  bright  dawn  of  a  To 
morrow.  To  the  shinin'  mount  of  Equal 
Rights  and  full  Liberty.  Where  she  sees 
men  and  wimmen  standin'  side  by  side 
with  no  halters  or  hamperin'  hitchin' 
straps  on  either  on  'em.  He  more  gentle 
and  considerate,  and  she  less  cowardly 
and  emotional. 

Good  land !  what  could  Justice  do  blind 
in  one  eye  and  wimmen  on  the  blind  side  ? 
But  good  sensible  wimmen  are  reachin' 
up  and  pullin'  the  bandages  offen  her 
eyes.  She's  in  a  fair  way  to  git  her  eye 
sight.  But  I'm  eppisodin',  and  to  resoom 
forward. 


VIII 
"  OLD  MOM  NATER  LISTENIN'  " 

THERE  wuz  some  pleasant  talkin' 
and  jokin'  between  bystanders  and 
suffragettes,  and  then  some  good 
natured  but  keen  and  sensible  speeches. 
And  one  pretty  speaker  told  about  the 
doin's  at  Albany  and  Washington.  How 
women's  respectful  pleas  for  justice  are 
treated  there.  How  the  law-makers, 
born  and  nussed  by  wimmen  and  depend 
ent  on  'em  for  comfort  and  happiness, 
use  the  wimmen's  tax  money  to  help  make 
laws  makin'  her  of  no  legal  importance 
only  as  helpless  riggers  to  hang  taxation 
and  punishment  on. 

Old  Mom  Nater  had  been  listenin'  clost, 
her  sky-blue  eyes  shinin'  with  joy  to  see 

138 


"  Old  Mom  Nater  Listenin' '      139 

her  own  sect  present  such  a  noble  appear 
ance  in  the  parade.  But  when  these  in 
sults  and  indignities  wuz  brung  up  to  her 
mind  agin  and  she  realized  afresh  how 
wimmen  couldn't  git  no  more  rights  ac 
corded  to  her  than  a  dog  or  a  hen,  and 
worse.  For  a  hen  or  a  dog  wouldn't  be 
taxed  to  raise  money  for  turkle  soup  and 
shampain  to  nourish  the  law-makers 
whilst  they  made  the  laws  agin  'em- 
Mem  Nater's  eyes  clouded  over  with  in 
dignation  and  resentment,  and  she  boo- 
hooed  right  out  a-cryin'.  Helpless  tears, 
of  no  more  account  than  other  females 
have  shed,  and  will,  as  they  set  on  their 
hard  benches  with  idiots,  lunaticks,  and 
criminals. 

Of  course  she  wiped  up  her  tears  pretty 
soon,  not  willin'  to  lose  any  of  the  wim- 
men's  bright  speeches.  But  when  her 
tear-drops  fell  fast,  Josiah  sez  to  me, 
"  You'll  see  them  wimmen  run  like 
hikers  now,  wimmen  always  thought 


140  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

more  of  shiffon  and  fol-de-rols  than 
they  did  of  principle." 

But  I  sez,  "Wait  and  see,"  (we  wuz 
under  a  awnin'  and  protected). 

But  the  young  and  pretty  speaker  who 
wore  a  light  silk  dress  and  exquisite  bun- 
net,  kep'  right  on  talkin'  jest  as  calmly  as 
if  she  didn't  know  her  pretty  dress  wuz 
hein'  spilte  and  her  bunnet  gittin'  wet  as 
sop,  and  I  sez  to  Josiah: 

"When  wimmen  are  so  in  earnest,  and 
want  anything  so  much  they  can  stand 
soakin'  in  their  best  dresses,  and  let  their 
Sunday  bunnets  be  spilte  on  their  heads, 
not  noticin'  'em  seemin'ly,  but  keep  right 
on  pleadin'  for  right  and  justice,  they  are 
in  a  fair  way  of  gittin'  what  they  are 
after." 

He  looked  kinder  meachin'  but  didn't 
dispute  me. 

The  speeches  wuz  beautiful  and  con- 
vincin',  and  pretty  soon  old  Mom  Nater 
stopped  cryin'  to  hear  'em,  and  she  and  I 


"  Old  Mom  Xater  Listenin' '      141 

both  listened  full  of  joy  and  happiness 
to  see  with  what  eloquence  and  justice 
our  sect  wuz  pleadin'  our  cause.  Their 
arguments  wuz  so  reasonable  and  con- 
vincin'  that  I  said  to  myself,  I  don't  see 
how  anybody  can  help  bein'  converted  to 
this  righteous  cause,  the  lif  tin'  up  of  wim- 
men  from  her  uncomfortable  crouchin' 
poster  with  criminals  and  idiots,  up  to 
the  place  she  should  occupy  by  the  side  of 
other  good  citizens  of  the  United  States, 
with  all  the  legal  and  moral  rights  that 
go  with  that  noble  title. 

And  right  whilst  I  wuz  thinkin'  this, 
sunthin'  wuz  happenin'  that  proved  I 
wuz  right  in  my  eppisodin',  and  some 
body  awful  sot  agin  it  wuz  bein'  converted 
then  and  there  (but  of  this  more  anon 
and  bom-bye).  We  stayed  till  we  heard 
the  last  word  of  the  last  speech,  I  happy 
and  proud  in  sperit,  Lorinda  partly  con 
verted,  she  couldn't  help  it,  though  she 
wouldn't  own  up  to  it  at  that  juncter. 


142  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

And  Josiah  lookin'  real  deprested,  the 
thought  of  representin'  me  wuz  worryin' 
him  I  knew,  for  I  hearn  him  say  (soty 
vosy) ,  "  Represent  wimmen  or  not,  I 
hain't  goin'  to  set  up  all  night  with  no 
old  woman,  and  lift  her  round,  nor  dry 
nuss  no  twins." 

And  thinkin'  his  sperit  wuz  pierced  to 
a  sufficient  depth  by  his  apprehension,  so 
reason  could  be  planted  and  take  root, 
and  he  wouldn't  be  so  anxious  in  the 
future  to  represent  a  woman,  I  told  him 
what  Diantha  said  and  we  all  went  home 
in  good  sperits.  The  sun  shone  clear,  the 
rain  had  washed  the  face  of  the  Earth  till 
it  shone,  and  everything  looked  gay  and 
joyous. 

When  we  got  to  Lorinda's  we  see  a 
auto  standin'  in  front  of  the  door  full  of 
flowery  branches  in  front  and  the  pink 
posies  lookin'  no  more  bright  and  rosy 
than  the  faces  of  the  two  young  folks 
settin'  there.  It  wuz  Polly  and  Royal. 


;<  Old  Mom  Nater  Listenin' '       143 

It  seemed  that  when  he  and  Maud  got 
back  from  the  country  (and  they  didn't 
stay  long,  Royal  wuz  so  restless  and  on- 
easy)  Maud  insisted  on  his  takin'  her  to 
the  suffrage  meetin'  jest  to  make  fun 
on't,  so  I  spoze.  She  thought  she  had 
rubbed  out  Polly's  image  and  made  a 
impression  herself  on  Royal's  heart  that 
only  needed  stompin'  in  a  little  deeper, 
and  she  thought  ridicule  would  be  the 
stomper  she  needed. 

But  when  they  got  to  the  meetin'  and 
he  see  Polly  settin'  like  a  lily  amongst 
flowers,  and  read  in  her  lovely  face  the 
earnest  desire  to  lift  the  burden  from  the 
heavy  laden,  comfort  the  sorrowful,  right 
the  wrong,  and  do  what  she  could  in  her 
day  and  generation— 

I  spoze  his  eyes  could  only  see  her 
sweet  face.  But  he  couldn't  help  his  ears 
from  hearin'  the  reasonable,  eloquent 
words  of  earnest  and  womanly  wimmen, 
so  full  of  good  sense  and  truth  and  jus- 


144  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

tice  that  no  reasonable  person  could  dis 
pute  'em,  and  when  he  contrasted  all  this 
with  the  sneerin'  face,  the  sarcastic  ego 
tistic  prattle  of  Maud,  the  veil  dropped 
from  his  eyes,  and  he  see  with  the  New 
Vision. 

You  know  how  it  wuz  with  Saul  the 
Scoffer  who  went  breathin'  out  vengeance, 
and  Eternal  Right  stopped  him  on  his 
way  with  its  great  light.  Well,  I  spoze 
it  wuz  a  bright  ray  from  that  same  light 
that  shone  down  into  Royal's  heart  and 
made  him  see.  He  wuz  always  good 
hearted  and  generous — men  have  always 
been  better  than  the  laws  they  have  made. 
He  left  Maud  at  her  home  not  fur  away 
and  hastened  back,  way-laid  Polly,  and 
bore  her  home  in  triumph  and  a  thirty- 
horse-power  car. 

It  don't  make  much  difference  I  spoze 
how  or  where  anybody  is  converted.  The 
Bible  speaks  of  some  bein'  ketched  out  of 
the  fire,  and  I  spoze  it  is  about  the  same 


"  Old  Mom  Nater  Listenin' '      145 

if  they  are  ketched  out  of  the  rain.  'Ten- 
nyrate  the  same  rain  that  washed  some 
of  the  color  off  Maud's  cheeks,  seemed 
to  wash  away  the  blindin'  mist  of  preju 
dice  and  antagonism  from  Royal's  mental 
vision,  leavin'  his  sperit  ready  for  the 
great  white  light  of  truth  and  justice  to 
strike  in.  And  that  very  day  and  hour 
he  come  round  to  Polly's  way  of  thinkin', 
and  bein'  smart  as  a  whip  and  so  rich,  I 
suppose  he  will  be  a  great  accusation  to 
the  cause. 

Well,  the  next  day  but  one  the  Aliens 
met  in  a  pleasant  grove  on  the  river  shore 
and  we  had  a  good  growin'  time.  Royal 
bein'  as  you  may  say  one  of  the  family, 
took  us  all  to  the  grove  in  his  big  tourin' 
car,  and  the  fourth  trip  he  took  Polly 
alone,  and  wuzn't  it  queer  that,  though  the 
load  wuz  fur  lighter,  it  took  him  three 
times  as  long  as  the  other  three  trips  to 
gether?  Why,  they  never  got  there  till 
dinner  wuz  on  the  table,  and  then  they 


146  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

didn't  seem  to  care  a  mite  about  the 
extra  good  food. 

But  I  made  allowances,  for  as  I  looked 
into  their  glowin'  faces  I  knowed  thejr 
wuz  partakin'  of  fruit  from  the  full 
branches  of  first  love,  true  love.  Rich 
fruit  that  gives  the  divinest  satisfaction 
of  any  this  old  earth  affords.  Food  that 
never  changes  through  the  centuries, 
though  fashion  often  changes,  and  riotous 
plenty  or  food  famine  may  exalt  or  de 
press  the  sperit  of  the  householder. 
Nothin'  but  time  has  any  power  over  this 
divine  fruitage.  He  gradually,  as  the 
light  of  the  honeymoon  wanes,  whets  his 
old  scythe  and  mows  down  some  of  the 
luxuriant  branches,  either  cuttin'  a  full 
swath,  or  one  at  a  time,  and  the  blessed 
consumers  have  to  come  down  to  the  ordi 
nary  food  of  mortals.  But  this  wuz  still 
fur  away  from  them. 

And  I  knowed  too  that  the  ordinary 
food  of  ordinary  mortals  partook  of  un- 


"  Old  Mom  Nater  Listenin' '      147 

der  the  full  harvest  moon  of  domestic  com 
fort  and  contentment  wuz  not  to  be  de 
spised,  though  fur  different.  And  the  light 
fur  different  from  the  glow  and  the  glam 
our  that  wropped  them  two  together  and 
all  the  rest  of  the  world  away  from  'em. 

But  I'm  eppisodin'  too  much,  and  to 
resoom  forward. 

As  I  said,  we  had  a  happy  growin'  time 
at  the  Reunion,  Josiah  bein'  in  fine  feather 
to  see  the  relation  on  his  side  presentin' 
such  a  noble  appearance.  And  like  a 
good  wife  I  sympathized  with  him  in  his 
pride  and  happiness,  though  I  told  him 
they  didn't  present  any  better  appearance 
than  the  same  number  of  Smiths  would. 
And  their  cookin',  though  excellent,  wuz 
no  better  than  the  Smiths  could  cook  if 
they  sot  out  to. 

He  bein'  so  good  natered  didn't  dispute 
me  outright,  but  said  he  thought  the  Al 
iens  made  better  nut-cakes  than  the 
Smiths. 


148  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

But  they  don't,  no  such  thing.  In  fact 
I  think  the  Smith  nut-cakes  are  lighter 
and  have  a  more  artistic  twist  to  'em  and 
don't  devour  so  much  fat  a-fryin'. 

But  I'd  hate  to  set  Josiah  down  to  any 
better  vittles.  I  d'no  as  I  would  dast  let 
him  loose  at  the  table  at  a  Smith  reunion, 
for  he  eat  fur  too  much  as  it  wuz.  I  had 
to  give  him  five  pepsin  lozengers  and 
some  pepper  tea.  And  then  I  looked  out 
all  night  for  night  mairs  to  ride  on  his 
chist.  But  he  come  through  it  alive 
though  with  considerable  pain. 

We  stayed  two  or  three  days  longer 
with  Lorinda,  and  then  she  and  Hiram 
went  part  way  with  us  as  we  visited  our 
way  home.  We've  got  relations  livin' 
all  along  the  river  that  we  owed  visits  to. 
And  we  went  to  see  a  number  of  'em  and 
enjoyed  our  four  selves  first  rate.  These 
things  all  took  place  more  than  a  year 
ago  and  another  man  sets  in  the  high 
chair,  before  which  I  laid  Serepta's  er- 


"  Old  Mom  Nater  Listenin' '      149 

rents,  a  man  not  so  hefty  mebby  weighed 
by  common  steelyards,  but  one  of  noble 
weight  judged  by  mental  and  moral 
scales. 

I  d'no  whether  I'd  had  any  better  luck 
if  I'd  presented  Serepta's  errents  to  him. 
Sometimes  when  I  look  in  the  kind  eyes 
of  his  picter,  and  read  his  noble  and  elo 
quent  words  that  I  believe  come  from  his 
very  soul,  I  think  mebby  I'd  been  more 
lucky  if  he'd  sot  in  the  chair  that  day. 
But  then  I  d'no,  there  are  so  many  influ 
ences  and  hendrances  planted  like  thorns 
in  the  cushion  of  that  chair  that  a  man, 
no  matter  how  earnest  he  strives  to  do 
jest  right,  can't  help  bein'  pricked  by  'em 
and  held  back.  And  I  know  he  could 
never  done  them  errents  in  the  time  she 
sot,  but  I'm  in  hopes  he'll  throw  his  pow 
erful  influence  jest  as  fur  as  he  can  on 
the  side  of  right,  and  justice  to  all  the 
citizens  of  the  U.  S.,  wimmen  as  well  as 
men. 


150  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

'Tennyrate,  he  has  showed  more  hero 
ism  now  than  many  soldiers  who  risk  life 
on  the  battle  field.  For  the  worst  foe  to 
fight  and  conquer  is  Ridicule;  and  he  and 
others  in  high  places  have  attackted 
Fashion  so  entrenched  in  the  solid  armour 
of  Habit  that  most  public  men  wouldn't 
have  dasted  to  take  arms  agin  it. 

And  the  long  waves  of  Time  must 
swash  up  agin  the  shores  of  Eternity,  be 
fore  the  good  it  has  done  can  be  esti 
mated.  How  fur  the  influence  has  ex 
tended.  How  many  weak  wills  been 
strengthened.  How  many  broken  hearts 
healed.  How  many  young  lives  inspired 
to  nobler  and  saner  living. 

But  to  resoom  forward,  I  can't  nor 
won't  carry  them  errents  of  Serepta's 
there  again.  It  is  too  wearin'  for  one  of 
my  age  and  my  rheumatiz.  What  a 
tedious  time  I  did  put  in  there.  It  wuz 
a  day  long  to  be  remembered  by  me. 


IX 

THE  WOMEN'S  PARADE 

JO  SI  AH  come  home  from  Jonesville 
one  day,  all  wrought  up.  He'd  took 
off  a  big  crate  of  eggs  and  got  re 
turns  from  several  crates  he'd  sent  to 
New  York,  an'  he  sez  to  me: 

"  That  consarned  Middleman  is  cheat- 
in'  me  the  worst  kind.  I  know  the  yaller 
Plymouth  Rock  eggs  ort  to  bring  mor'n 
the  white  Leghorns;  they're  bigger  and 
it  stands  to  reason  they're  worth  more, 
and  he  don't  give  nigh  so  much.  I  be 
lieve  he  eats  'em  himself  and  that's  why 
he  wants  to  git  'em  cheaper." 

"No  Middleman,"  sez  I,  "could  eat 
fifty  dozen  a  week." 

"  He  could  if  he  eat  enough  at  one 

151 


152  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

time.  'Tennyrate,  I'm  goin'  to  New 
York  to  see  about  it." 

'When  are  you  goin'?"  sez  I. 

"  I'm  goin'  to-morrow  mornin'.  I'm 
goin'  in  onexpected  and  I  lay  out  to 
catch  him  devourin'  them  big  eggs  him 
self." 

"Oh,  shawl  "sez  I.    "The  idee!" 

"  Well,  I  say  the  Trusts  and  Middle 
men  are  dishonest  as  the  old  Harry. 
Don't  you  remember  what  one  on  'em 
writ  to  Uncle  Sime  Bentley  and  what  he 
writ  back?  He'd  sent  a  great  load  of  po 
tatoes  to  him  and  he  didn't  get  hardly 
anything  for  'em,  only  their  big  bill  for 
sellin'  'em.  They  charged  him  for 
freightage,  carage,  storage,  porterage, 
weightage,  and  to  make  their  bill  longer, 
they  put  in  ratage  and  satage. 

'  Uncle  Sime  writ  back  '  You  infarnel 
thief,  you,  put  in  "stealage"  and  keep  the 
whole  on't.' " 

But  I  sez,  "  They're  not  all  dishonest. 


The  Women's  Parade  153 

There  are  good  men  among  'em  as  well 
as  bad." 

"  Well,  I  lay  out  to  see  to  it  myself, 
and  if  they  ever  charge  me  for  '  ratage  ' 
and  '  satage '  I'm  goin'  to  see  what  they 
are,  and  how  they  look." 

"  Well,"  sez  I,  "  if  you're  bound  to  go, 
I'll  get  up  and  get  a  good  breakfast  and 
go  with  you."  It  was  the  day  of  the 
Woman's  Suffrage  Parade  and  I  wanted 
to  see  it.  I  wanted  to  like  a  dog,  and  had 
ever  since  I  hearn  of  it.  Though  some  of 
the  Jonesvillians  felt  different.  The 
Creation  Searchin'  Society  wuz  dretful 
exercised  about  it.  The  President's  step- 
ma  is  a  strong  She  Aunty  and  has  always 
ruled  Philander  with  an  iron  hand.  I've 
always  noticed  that  women  who  didn't 
want  any  rights  always  took  the  right  to 
have  their  own  way.  But  'tennyrate 
Philander  come  up  a  very  strong  He 
Aunty.  And  he  felt  that  the  Creation 
Searchers  ort  to  go  to  New  York  that 


154  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

day  to  assist  the  Aunties  in  sneerin'  at  the 
marchers,  writin'  up  the  parade,  and 
helpin'  count  'em.  Philander  wuz  always 
good  at  figures,  specially  at  subtraction, 
and  he  and  his  Step  Ma  thought  he  ort 
to  be  there  to  help. 

I  told  Josiah  I  guessed  the  She  Aunties 
didn't  need  no  help  at  that. 

But  Philander  called  a  meetin'  of  the 
Creation  Searchers  to  make  arrange 
ments  to  go.  And  I  spoze  the  speech 
he  made  at  the  meetin'  wuz  a  powerful 
effort.  And  the  members  most  all  on 
'em  believin'  as  he  did — they  said  it  wuz 
a  dretful  interestin'  meetin'.  Sunthin' 
like  a  love  feast,  only  more  wrought  up 
and  excitin'. 

The  editor  of  the  Auger  printed  the 
whole  thing  in  his  paper,  and  said  it  give 
a  staggerin'  blow  agin  Woman's  Suf 
frage,  and  he  didn't  know  but  it  wuz  a 
death  blow — he  hoped  it  wuz. 

"  A  Woman's  Parade,"  sez  Philander, 


The  Women's  Parade  155 

"  is  the  most  abominable  sight  ever  seen 
on  our  planetary  system.  Onprotected 
woman  dressed  up  in  fine  clothes  standin' 
up  on  her  feet,  and  paradin'  herself  be 
fore  strange  men.  Oh!  how  bold!  Oh! 
how  on  womanly!  No  wonder,"  says  he, 
"  the  She  Aunties  are  shocked  at  the 
sight,  and  say  they  marched  to  attract 
the  attention  of  men.  Why  can't  women 
stay  to  home  and  set  down  and  knit? 
And  then  men  would  love  'em.  But  if 
they  keep  on  with  these  bold,  forward 
actions,  men  won't  love  'em,  and  the}7 
will  find  out  so.  And  it  has  always  been, 
and  is  now,  man's  greatest  desire  and 
chiefest  aim  he  has  aimed  at,  to  protect 
women,  to  throw  the  shinin'  mantilly  of 
his  constant  devotion  about  her  delikit 
form  and  shield  her  and  guard  her  like 
the  very  apples  in  his  eyes. 

'  Woman  is  too  sweet  and  tender  a 
flower  to  have  any  such  hardship  put 
upon  her,  and  it  almost  crazes  a  man,  and 


156  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

makes  him  temporarily  out  of  his  head,  to 
see  women  do  anything  to  hazard  that  in- 
heriant  delicacy  of  hern,  that  always  ap 
pealed  so  to  the  male  man. 

"  Let  us  go  forth,  clad  in  our  principles 
(and  ordinary  clothing,  of  course),  and 
show  just  where  we  stand  on  the  woman 
question,  and  do  all  we  can  to  assist  the 
gentle  feminine  She  Aunties.  Lovely,  re- 
tirin'  females  whose  pictures  we  so  often 
see  gracin'  the  sensational  newspapers. 
Their  white  womanly  neck  and  shoulders, 
glitterin'  with  jewels,  no  brighter  than 
their  eyes.  They  don't  appear  there  for 
sex  appeal,  or  to  win  admiration.  No  in 
deed!  No  doubt  they  shrink  from  the 
publicity.  And  also  shrink  from  making 
speeches  in  the  Senate  chambers  or  the 
halls  of  Justice,  but  will  do  so,  angelic 
martyrs  that  they  are,  to  hold  their  erring 
Suffrage  sisters  back  from  their  brazen 
efforts  at  publicity  and  public  speakin'." 

They    said    his    speech    wuz    cheered 


The  Women's  Parade  157 

wildly,  give  out  for  publication,  and  en 
tered  into  the  moments  of  the  Society. 

But  after  all,  it  happened  real  curious 
the  day  of  the  Parade  every  leadin'  Crea 
tion  Searcher  had  some  impediment  in  his 
way,  and  couldn't  go,  and  of  course,  the 
Society  didn't  want  to  go  without  its 
leaders. 

Mis'  Philander  Daggett,  the  presi 
dent's  wife,  wuz  paperin'  her  settin'  room 
and  parlor  overhead.  She  wuz  expectin' 
company  and  couldn't  put  it  off.  And 
bein'  jest  married,  and  thinkin'  the  world 
of  her,  Philander  said  he  dassent  leave 
home  for  fear  she'd  fall  offen  the  barrel 
and  break  her  neck.  She  had  a  board  laid 
acrost  two  barrels  to  stand  up  on.  And 
every  day  Philander  would  leave  his  out 
side  work  and  come  into  the  house,  and 
set  round  and  watch  her — he  thought  so 
much  of  her.  I  suppose  he  wanted  to 
catch  her  if  she  fell.  But  I  didn't  think 
she  would  fall.  She  is  young  and  tuff, 


158  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

and  she  papered  it  real  good,  though  it 
wuz  dretful  hard  on  her  arm  sockets  and 
back. 

And  the  Secretary's  wife  wuz  puttin'  in 
a  piece  of  onions.  She  thought  she  would 
make  considerable  by  it,  and  she  will,  if 
onions  keep  up.  But  it  is  tumble  hard 
on  a  woman's  back  to  weed  'em.  But 
she  is  ambitious;  she  raised  a  flock  of 
fifty-six  turkeys  last  year  besides  doin' 
her  house  work,  and  makin'  seventy-five 
yards  of  rag  carpet.  And  she  thought 
onions  wouldn't  be  so  wearin'  on  her  as 
turkeys,  for  onions,  she  said,  will  stay 
where  they  are  put,  but  turkeys  are  born 
wanderers  and  hikers.  And  they  led  her 
through  sun  and  rain,  swamp  and  swale, 
uphill  and  downhill,  a-chasin'  'em  up,  but 
she  made  well  by  'em.  Well,  in  puttin' 
in  her  onion  seed,  she  overworked  herself 
and  got  a  crick  in  her  back,  so  she 
couldn't  stir  hand  nor  foot  for  two  days. 
And  bein'  only  just  them  two,  her 


The  Women's  Parade  159 

husband  had  to  stay  home  to  see  to 
things. 

And  the  Treasurer's  wife  is  canvassin' 
for  the  life  of  William  J.  Bryan.  And 
wantin'  to  make  all  she  could,  she  took 
a  longer  tramp  than  common,  and  didn't 
hear  of  the  Parade  or  meetin'  of  the  C. 
S.  S.  at  all.  She  writ  home  a  day  or  two 
before  the  meetin',  that  she  wuz  goin' 
as  long  as  her  legs  held  out,  and  they 
needn't  write  to  her,  for  she  didn't  know 
where  she  would  be. 

Well,  of  course,  the  Creation  Searchers 
didn't  want  to  go  without  their  officers. 
They  said  they  couldn't  make  no  show 
if  they  did.  So  they  give  up  goin'.  But 
I  spoze  they  made  fun  of  the  Woman's 
Parade  amongst  theirselves,  and  mourned 
over  their  indelikit  onwomanly  actions, 
and  worried  about  it  bein'  too  hard  for 
'em,  and  sneered  at  'em  considerable. 

Well,  Josiah  always  loves  to  have  me 
with  him,  an'  though  he'd  made  light  of 


160  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

the  Parade,  he  didn't  object  to  my  goin'. 
And  suffice  it  to  say  that  we  arrove  at 
that  Middleman's  safe  and  sound,  though 
why  we  didn't  git  lost  in  that  grand  im 
mense  depo  and  wander  'round  there  all 
day  like  babes  in  the  woods,  is  more'n  I 
can  tell. 

The  Middleman  wuzri't  dishonest: 
he  convinced  Josiah  on  it.  He  had 
shipped  the  colored  eggs  somewhere, 
and  of  course  he  couldn't  pay  as 
much,  and  he  never  had  hearn  of 
Ratage  or  Satage.  He  wuz  a  real  pleas 
ant  Middleman,  and  hearing  me  say  how 
much  I  wanted  to  see  the  Woman's 
Parade,  he  invited  us  to  go  upstairs  and 
set  by  a  winder,  where  there  was  a  good 
view  on't.  We'd  eat  our  lunch  on  the 
train  and  we  accepted  his  invitation,  and 
sot  down  by  a  winder  then  and  there, 
though  it  wuz  a  hour  or  so  before  the 
time  sot  for  the  Parade.  And  I  should 
have  taken  solid  comfort  watchin'  the 


The  Women's  Parade  161 

endless  procession  of  men  and  women  and 
vehicles  of  all  sorts  and  descriptions,  but 
Josiah  made  so  many  slightin'  remarks 
on  the  dress  of  the  females  passin'  below 
on  the  sidewalk,  that  it  made  me  feel 
bad.  And  to  tell  the  truth,  though  I 
didn't  think  best  to  own  up  to  it  to  him, 
I  did  blush  for  my  sect  to  see  the  way 
some  on  'em  rigged  themselves  out. 

"See  that  thing!"  Josiah  sez,  as  a 
woman  passed  by  with  the  hat  drawed 
down  over  one  eye,-  and  a  long  quill 
standin'  out  straight  behind  more'n  a 
foot,  an'  her  dress  puckered  in  so  'round 
the  bottom,  she  couldn't  have  took  a 
long  step  if  a  mad  dog  wuz  chasin'  her— 
to  say  nothin'  of  bein'  perched  up  on 
such  high  heels,  that  she  fairly  tottled 
when  she  walked. 

Sez  Josiah:  "Does  that   tiling  know 
enough  to  vote? " 

"  No,"  sez  I,  reasonably,  "  she  don't. 
But   most    probable    if    she    had   bigger 


162  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

things  to  think  about  she'd  loosen  the 
puckerin'  strings  'round  her  ankles,  push 
her  hat  back  out  of  her  eyes,  an'  get 
down  on  her  feet  again." 

"  Why,  Samantha,"  says  he,  "  if  you 
had  on  one  of  them  skirts  tied  'round 
your  ankles,  if  I  wuz  a-dyin'  on  the 
upper  shelf  in  the  buttery,  you  couldn't 
step  up  on  a  chair  to  get  to  me  to 
save  your  life,  an'  I'd  have  to  die  there 
alone." 

"  Why  should  you  be  dyin'  on  the 
buttery  shelf,  Josiah?  "  sez  I. 

"  Oh,  that  wuz  jest  a  figger  of  speech, 
Samantha." 

"  But  folks  ort  to  be  mejum  in  fig- 
gers  of  speech,  Josiah,  and  not  go  too 
fur." 

"  Do  you  think,  Samantha,  that  any 
body  can  go  too  fur  in  describin'  them 
fool  skirts,  and  them  slit  skirts,  and  the 
immodesty  and  indecensy  of  some  of 
them  dresses?" 


Sez  Josiah,  '  Does  that  thing  know  enough  to  vote  ? '  " 


The  Women's  Parade  163 

"  I  don't  know  as  they  can,"  sez  I, 
sadly. 

"  Jest  look  at  that  thing,"  sez  he  again. 

And  as  I  looked,  the1  hot  blush  of 
shame  mantillied  my  cheeks,  for  I  felt 
that  my  sect  was  disgraced  by  the  sight. 
She  wuz  real  pretty,  but  she  didn't  have 
much  of  any  clothes  on,  and  what  she  did 
wear  wuzn't  in  the  right  place;  not  at  all. 

Sez  Josiah,  '  That  girl  would  look 
much  more  modest  and  decent  if  she  wuz 
naked,  for  then  she  might  be  took  for  a 
statute." 

And  I  sez,  "  I  don't  blame  the  good 
Priest  for  sendin'  them  away  from  the 
Lord's  table,  sayin',  '  I  will  give  no  com 
munion  to  a  Jezabel.'  And  the  pity  of 
it  is,"  sez  I,  "  lots  of  them  girls  are 
innocent  and  don't  realize  what  construc 
tion  will  be  put  on  the  dress  they  blindly 
copy  from  some  furrin  fashion  plate." 

Then  quite  an  old  woman  passed  by, 
also  robed  or  disrobed  in  the  prevailin' 


164  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

fashion,  and  Josiah  sez,  soty  vosy,  "  I 
should  think  she  wuz  old  enough  to  know 
sunthin'.  Who  wants  to  see  her  old 
bones? "  And  he  sez  to  me,  real  uppish, 
"  Do  you  think  them  things  know 
enough  to  vote? " 

But  jest  then  a  young  man  went  by 
dressed  fashionably,  but  if  he  hadn't  had 
the  arm  of  a  companion,  he  couldn't  have 
walked  a  step;  his  face  wuz  red  and 
swollen,  and  dissipated,  and  what  ex 
pression  wuz  left  in  his  face  wuz  a 
fool  expression,  and  both  had  cigar 
ettes  in  their  mouths,  and  I  sez,  "  Does 
that  thing  know  enough  to  vote?" 
And  jest  behind  them  come  a  lot  of  fur- 
rin  laborers,  rough  and  rowdy-lookin', 
with  no  more  expression  in  their  faces 
than  a  mule  or  any  other  animal.  "  Do 
they  know  enough  to  vote?  "  sez  I.  "  As 
for  the  fitness  for  votin'  it  is  pretty  even 
on  both  sides.  Good  intelligent  men 
ortn't  to  lose  the  right  of  suffrage  for  the 


The  Women's  Parade  165 

vice  and  ignorance  of  some  of  their  sect, 
and  that  argument  is  jest  as  strong  for 
the  other  sect." 

But  before  Josiah  could  reply,  we 
hearn  the  sound  of  gay  music,  and  the 
Parade  began  to  march  on  before  us. 
First  a  beautiful  stately  figure  seated 
fearlessly  on  a  dancin'  horse,  that  tossted 
his  head  as  if  proud  of  the  burden  he  wuz 
carryin'.  She  managed  the  prancin'  steed 
with  one  hand,  and  with  the  other  held 
aloft  the  flag  of  our  country.  Jest  as 
women  ort  to,  and  have  to.  They  have 
got  to  manage  wayward  pardners,  chil 
dren  and  domestics  who,  no  matter  how 
good  they  are,  will  take  their  bits  in 
their  mouths,  and  go  sideways  some  of 
the  time,  but  can  be  managed  by  a  sen 
sible,  affectionate  hand,  and  with  her 
other  hand  at  the  same  time  she  can 
carry  her  principles  aloft,  wavin'  in  every 
domestic  breeze,  frigid  or  torrid,  plain 
to  be  seen  by  everybody. 


166  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

Then  come  the  wives  and  relations  of 
Senators  and  Congressmen,  showin'  that 
bein'  right  on  the  spot  they  knowed  what 
wimmen  needed.  Then  the  wimmen 
voters  from  free  Suffrage  states,  show- 
in'  by  their  noble  looks  that  votin'  hadn't 
hurt  'em  any.  They  carried  the  most 
gorgeous  banner  in  the  whole  Parade. 
Then  the  Wimmen's  Political  Union, 
showin'  plain  in  their  faces  that  under- 
standin'  the  laws  that  govern  her  ain't 
goin'  to  keep  woman  from  looking  beau 
tiful  and  attractive. 

On  and  on  they  come,  gray-headed 
women  and  curly-headed  children  from 
every  station  in  life:  the  millionairess  by 
the  working  woman,  and  the  fashion 
able  society  woman  by  the  business 
one.  Two  women  on  horseback,  and  one 
blowin'  a  bugle,  led  the  way  for  the  car 
riage  of  Madam  Antoinette  Blackwell. 
I  wonder  if  she  ever  dreamed  when  she 
wuz  tryin'  to  climb  the  hill  of  knowledge 


The  Women's  Parade  167 

through  the  thorny  path  of  sex  persecu 
tion,  that  she  would  ever  have  a  bugle 
blowed  in  front  of  her,  to  honor  her  for 
her  efforts,  and  form  a  part  of  such  a 
glorious  Parade  of  the  sect  she  give  her 
youth  and  strength  to  free. 

How  they  swept  on,  borne  by  the 
waves  of  music,  heralded  by  wavin' 
banners  of  purple  and  white  and  gold, 
bearin'  upliftin'  and  noble  mottoes. 
Physicians,  lawyers,  nurses,  authors, 
journalists,  artists,  social  workers,  dress 
makers,  milliners,  women  from  furrin 
countries  dressed  in  their  quaint  costumes, 
laundresses,  clerks,  shop  girls,  college 
girls,  all  bearin'  the  pennants  and  ban 
ners  of  their  different  colleges:  Vassar, 
Wellesley,  Smith,  etc.,  etc.  High- 
school  pupils,  Woman's  Suffrage  League, 
Woman's  Social  League,  and  all  along 
the  brilliant  line  each  division  dressed  in 
beautiful  costumes  and  carryin'  their  own 
gorgeous  banners.  And  anon  or  oftener 


168  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

all  along  the  long,  long  procession  bands 
of  music  pealin'  out  high  and  sweet,  as  if 
the  Spirit  of  Music,  who  is  always  de- 
pictened  as  a  woman,  was  glad  and  proud 
to  do  honor  to  her  own  sect.  And  all 
through  the  Parade  you  could  see  every 
little  while  men  on  foot  and  on  horseback, 
not  a  great  many,  but  jest  enough  to 
show  that  the  really  noble  men  wuz  on 
their  side.  For,  as  I've  said  more  for 
mally,  that  is  one  of  the  most  convincin' 
arguments  for  Woman's  Suffrage.  In 
fact,  it  don't  need  any  other.  That  bad 
men  fight  against  Women's  Suffrage 
with  all  their  might. 

Down  by  the  big  marble  library,  the 
grand-stand  wuz  filled  with  men  seated 
to  see  their  wives  march  by  on  their  road 
to  Victory.  I  hearn  and  believe,  they 
wuz  a  noble-lookin'  set  of  men.  They  had 
seen  their  wives  in  the  past  chasin'  Fash 
ion  and  Amusement,  and  why  shouldn't 
they  enjoy  seein'  them  follow  Principle 


The  Women's  Parade  169 

and  Justice?  Well,  I  might  talk  all  day 
and  not  begin  to  tell  of  the  beauty  and 
splendor  of  the  Woman's  Parade.  And 
the  most  impressive  sight  to  me  wuz  to 
see  how  the  leaven  of  individual  right 
and  justice  had  entered  into  all  these 
different  classes  of  society,  and  how  their 
enthusiasm  and  earnestness  must  affect 
every  beholder. 

And  in  my  mind  I  drawed  pictures 
of  the  different  modes  of  our  American 
women  and  our  English  sisters,  each 
workin'  for  the  same  cause,  but  in  what 
a  different  manner.  Of  course,  our  Eng 
lish  sisters  may  have  more  reason  for 
their  militant  doin's;  more  unjust  laws 
regarding  marriage — divorce,  and  care 
of  children,  and  I  can't  blame  them 
married  females  for  wantin'  to  control 
their  own  money,  specially  if  they  earnt 
it  by  scrubbin'  floors  and  washin'.  I 
can't  blame  'em  for  not  wantin'  their 
husbands  to  take  that  money  from  them 


170  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

and  their  children,  specially  if  they're 
loafers  and  drunkards.  And,  of  course, 
there  are  no  men  so  noble  and  generous 
as  our  American  men.  But  jest  lookin' 
at  the  matter  from  the  outside  and  com- 
parin'  the  two,  I  wuz  proud  indeed  of 
our  Suffragists. 

While  our  English  sisters  feel  it  their 
duty  to  rip  and  tear,  burn  and  pillage, 
to  draw  attention  to  their  cause,  and  reach 
the  gole  (which  I  believe  they  have  sot 
back  for  years)  through  the  smoke  and 
fire  of  carnage,  our  American  Suffra 
gettes  employ  the  gentle,  convincin'  arts 
of  beauty  and  reason.  Some  as  the  quiet 
golden  sunshine  draws  out  the  flowers 
and  fruit  from  the  cold  bosom  of  the 
earth.  Mindin'  their  own  business,  an- 
tagonizin'  and  troublin'  no  one,  they 
march  along  and  show  to  every  beholder 
jest  how  earnest  they  be.  They  quietly 
and  efficiently  answer  that  argument  of 
the  She  Auntys,  that  women  don't  want 


The  Women's  Parade  171 

to  vote,  by  a  parade  two  hours  in  length, 
of  twenty  thousand.  They  answer  the 
argument  that  the  ballot  would  render 
women  careless  in  dress  and  reckless,  by 
organizin'  and  carryin'  on  a  parade  so 
beautiful,  so  harmonious  in  color  and 
design  that  it  drew  out  enthusiastic 
praise  from  even  the  enemies  of  Suffrage. 
They  quietly  and  without  argument  an 
swered  the  old  story  that  women  was 
onbusiness-like  and  never  on  time,  by 
startin'  the  Parade  the  very  minute  it 
was  announced,  which  you  can't  always 
say  of  men's  parades. 

It  wuz  a  burnin'  hot  day,  and  many 
who'd  always  argued  that  women  hadn't 
strength  enough  to  lift  a  paper  ballot, 
had  prophesied  that  woman  wuz  too  deli 
cately  organized,  too  "  fraguile,"  as 
Betsy  Bobbet  would  say,  to  endure  the 
strain  of  the  long  march  in  the  torrid 
atmosphere. 

But    I    told   Josiah   that   women   had 


172  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

walked  daily  over  the  burning  plow 
shares  of  duty  and  domestic  tribulation, 
till  their  feet  had  got  calloused,  and 
could  stand  more'n  you'd  think  for. 

And  he  said  he  didn't  know  as  females 
had  any  more  burnin'  plow  shares  to 
tread  on  than  men  had. 

And  I  sez,  "  I  didn't  say  they  had, 
Josiah.  I  never  wanted  women  to  get 
more  praise  or  justice  than  men.  I  sim 
ply  want  'em  to  get  as  much — just  an 
even  amount;  for,"  sez  I,  solemnly, 
"  '  male  and  female  created  He  them.'  " 

Josiah  is  a  deacon,  and  when  I  quote 
Scripture,  he  has  to  listen  respectful,  and 
I  went  on:  "I  guess  it  wuz  a  surprise 
even  to  the  marchers  that  of  all  the  am 
bulances  that  kept  alongside  the  Parade 
to  pick  up  faint  and  swoonin'  females, 
the  only  one  occupied  wuz  by  a  man." 

Josiah  denied  it,  but  I  sez,  "I  see  his 
boots  stickin'  out  of  the  ambulance  my 
self."  Josiah  couldn't  dispute  that,  for 


The  Women's  Parade  173 

he  knows  I  am  truthful.  But  he  sez, 
sunthin'  in  the  sperit  of  two  little  chil 
dren  I  hearn  disputin'.  Sez  one:  "It 
wuzn't  so;  you've  told  a  lie." 

"  Well,"  sez  the  other,  "  You  broke  a 
piece  of  china  and  laid  it  to  me." 

Sez  Josiah,  ' '  You  may  have  seen  a 
pair  of  men's  boots  a-stickin'  out  of  the 
ambulance,  but  I'll  bet  they  didn't  have 
heels  on  'em  a  inch  broad,  and  five  or 
six  inches  high." 

"  No,  Josiah,"  sez  I,  "  you're  right. 
Men  think  too  much  of  their  comfort 
and  health  to  hist  themselves  up  on  such 
little  high  tottlin'  things,  and  you  didn't 
see  many  on  'em  in  the  Parade." 

But  he  went  on  drivin'  the  arrow  of 
higher  criticism  still  deeper  into  my  on- 
willin'  breast.  "  I'll  bet  you  didn't  see 
his  legs  tied  together  at  the  ankles,  or 
his  trouses  slit  up  the  sides  to  show  gauze 
stockin's  and  anklets  and  diamond 
buckles.  And  you  didn't  see  my  sect  who 


174  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

honored  the  Parade  by  marchin'  in  it, 
have  a  goose  quill  half  a  yard  long, 
standin'  up  straight  in  the  air  from  a 
coal-scuttle  hat,  or  out  sideways,  a  he  jus 
sight,  and  threatenin'  the  eyes  of  friend 
and  foe." 

"  And  you  didn't  see  many  on  'em  in 
the  Parade,"  sez  I  agin.  '  Women,  as 
they  march  along  to  Victory,  have  got  to 
drop  some  of  these  senseless  things,  In 
fact,  they  are  droppin'  em.  You  don't  see 
waists  now  the  size  of  a  hour  glass.  It 
is  gettin'  fashionable  to  breathe  now,  and 
women  on  their  way  to  their  gole  will 
drop  by  the  way  their  high  heels;  it  will 
git  fashionable  to  walk  comfortable,  and 
as  they've  got  to  take  some  pretty  long 
steps  to  reach  the  ballot  in  1916,  it 
stands  to  reason  they've  got  to  have  a 
skirt  wide  enough  at  the  bottom  to  step 
up  on  the  gole  of  Victory.  It  is  a  high 
step,  Josiah,  but  women  are  goin'  to  take 
it.  They've  always  tended  to  cleanin' 


The  Women's  Parade  175 

their  own  house,  and  makin'  it  comfort 
able  and  hygenic  for  its  members,  big  and 
little.  And  when  they  turn  their  minds 
onto  the  best  way  to  clean  the  National 
house  both  sects  have  to  live  in  to  make 
it  clean  and  comfortable  and  safe  for  the 
weak  and  helpless  as  well  as  for  the 
strong — it  stands  to  reason  they  won't 
have  time  or  inclination  to  stand  up  on 
stilts  with  tied-in  ankles,  quilled  out  like 
savages." 

'  Well,"  said  Josiah,  with  a  dark,  fore- 
bodin'  look  on  his  linement,   ff  we  shall 


see" 


6  Yes,"  sez  I,  with  a  real  radiant  look 
into  the  future.  ff  We  shall  see,  Josiah." 

But  he  didn't  have  no  idea  of  the  beau 
tiful  prophetic  vision  I  beheld  with  the 
eyes  of  my  sperit.  Good  men  and  good 
women,  each  fillin'  their  different  spears 
in  life,  but  banded  together  for  the  over 
throw  of  evil,  the  uplift  of  the  race. 


X 


1  THE  CREATION  SEARCHIN' 
SOCIETY  " 

IT  was  only  a  few  days  after  we  got 
home  from  New  York  that  Josiah 
come  into  the  house  dretful  excited. 
He'd  had  a  invitation  to  attend  a  meetin' 
of  the  Creation  Searchin'  Society. 

"  Why,"  sez  I,  "  did  they  invite  you? 
You  are  not  a  member?" 

"  No,"  sez  he,  "  but  they  want  me  to 
help  'em  be  indignant.  It  is  a  indigna 
tion  meetin'." 

;c  Indignant  about  what?"  I  sez. 

"  Fur  be  it  from  me,  Samantha,  to 
muddle  up  your  head  and  hurt  your  feel- 
in's  by  tellin'  you  what  it's  fur."  And 
he  went  out  quick  and  shet  the  door. 
But  I  got  a  splendid  dinner  and  after 
wards  he  told  me  of  his  own  accord. 

176 


"The  Creation  Searchin'  Society"    177 

I  am  not  a  member,  of  course,  for 
the  president,  Philander  Daggett,  said  it 
would  lower  the  prestige  of  the  society 
in  the  eyes  of  the  world  to  have  even  one 
female  member.  This  meetin'  wuz  called 
last  week  for  the  purpose  of  bein'  indig 
nant  over  the  militant  doin's  of  the  Eng 
lish  Suffragettes.  Josiah  and  several 
others  in  Jonesville  wuz  invited  to  be 
present  at  this  meetin'  as  sort  of  hon 
orary  members,  as  they  wuz  competent 
to  be  jest  as  indignant  as  any  other  male 
men  over  the  tribulations  of  their  sect. 

Josiah  said  so  much  about  the  meet- 
in',  and  his  Honorary  Indignation,  that 
he  got  me  curious,  and  wantin'  to  go 
myself,  to  see  how  it  wuz  carried  on. 
But  I  didn't  have  no  hopes  on't  till 
Philander  Daggett's  new  young  wife 
come  to  visit  me  and  I  told  her  how 
much  I  wanted  to  go,  and  she  bein'  real 
good-natered  said  she  would  make  Phi 
lander  let  me  in. 


178  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

He  objected,  of  course,  but  she  is 
pretty  and  young,  and  his  nater  bein' 
kinder  softened  and  sweetened  by  the 
honey  of  the  honeymoon,  she  got  round 
him.  And  he  said  that  if  we  would  set 
up  in  a  corner  of  the  gallery  behind  the 
melodeon,  and  keep  our  veils  on,  he 
would  let  her  and  me  in.  But  we  must 
keep  it  secret  as  the  grave,  for  he  would 
lose  all  the  influence  he  had  with  the 
other  members  and  be  turned  out  of  the 
Presidential  chair  if  it  wuz  knowed  that 
he  had  lifted  wimmen  up  to  such  a  hite, 
and  gin  'em  such  a  opportunity  to  feel 
as  if  they  wuz  equal  to  men. 

Well,  we  went  early  and  Josiah  left 
me  to  Philander's  and  went  on  to  do 
some  errents.  He  thought  I  wuz  to 
spend  the  evenin'  with  her  in  becomin* 
seclusion,  a-knittin'  on  his  blue  and  white 
socks,  as  a  woman  should.  But  after 
visitin'  a  spell,  jest  after  it  got  duskish, 
we  went  out  the  back  door  and  went 


"The  Creation  Searchin'  Society"     179 

cross  lots,  and  got  there  ensconced  in  the 
dark  corner  without  anybody  seein'  us 
and  before  the  meetin'  begun. 

Philander  opened  the  meetin5  by  read- 
in'  the  moments  of  the  last  meetin',  which 
wuz  one  of  sympathy  with  the  police  of 
Washington  for  their  noble  efforts  to 
break  up  the  Woman's  Parade,  and  after 
their  almost  Herculaneum  labor  to  teach 
wimmen  her  proper  place,  and  all  the 
help  they  got  from  the  hoodlum  and 
slum  elements,  they  had  failed  in  a 
measure,  and  the  wimmen,  though 
stunned,  insulted,  spit  on,  struck,  broken 
boneded,  maimed,  and  tore  to  pieces,  had 
succeeded  in  their  disgustin'  onwomanly 
undertakin'. 

But  it  wuz  motioned  and  carried  that 
a  vote  of  thanks  be  sent  'em  and  recorded 
in  the  moments  that  the  Creation  Search 
ers  had  no  blame  but  only  sympathy  and 
admiration  for  the  hard  worked  Police 
men  for  they  had  done  all  they  could  to 


180  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

protect  wimmen's  delicacy  and  retirin' 
modesty,  and  put  her  in  her  place,  and 
no  man  in  Washington  or  Jonesville 
could  do  more.  He  read  these  moments, 
in  a  real  tender  sympathizin'  voice,  and 
I  spoze  the  members  sympathized  with 
him,  or  I  judged  so  from  their  linements 
as  I  went  forward,  still  as  a  mouse,  and 
peeked  down  on  'em. 

He  then  stopped  a  minute  and  took  a 
drink  of  water;  I  spoze  his  sympathetic 
emotions  had  het  him  up,  and  kinder 
dried  his  mouth,  some.  And  then  he 
went  on  to  state  that  this  meetin'  wuz 
called  to  show  to  the  world,  abroad  and 
nigh  by,  the  burnin'  indignation  this  body 
felt,  as  a  society,  at  the  tumble  sufferin's 
and  insults  bein'  heaped  onto  their  male 
brethren  in  England  by  the  indecent  and 
disgraceful  doin's  of  the  militant  Suffra 
gettes,  and  to  devise,  if  possible,  some 
way  to  help  their  male  brethren  acrost 
the  sea.  "  For,"  sez  he,  "  pizen  will 


"  The  Creation  Searchin'  Society  "     181 

spread.  How  do  we  know  how  soon 
them  very  wimmen  who  had  to  be  spit 
on  and  struck  and  tore  to  pieces  in  Wash 
ington  to  try  to  make  'em  keep  their 
place,  the  sacred  and  tender  place  they 
have  always  held  enthroned  as  angels  in 
a  man's  heart 

Here  he  stopped  and  took  out  his 
bandanna  handkerchief,  and  wiped  his 
eyes,  and  kinder  choked.  But  I  knew 
it  wuz  all  a  orator's  art,  and  it  didn't 
affect  me,  though  I  see  a  number  of  the 
members  wipe  their  eyes,  for  this  talk 
appealed  to  the  inheriant  chivalry  of  men, 
and  their  desire  to  protect  wimmen,  we 
have  always  hearn  so  much  about. 

"  How  do  we  know,"  he  continued, 
"  how  soon  they  may  turn  aginst  their 
best  friends,  them  who  actuated  by  the 
loftiest  and  tenderest  emotions,  and  de 
termination  to  protect  the  weaker  sect 
at  any  cost,  took  their  valuable  time  to 
try  to  keep  wimmen  down  where  they  ort 


182  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

to  be,  angels  of  the  home,  who  knows 
but  they  may  turn  and  throw  stuns  at 
the  Capitol  an'  badger  an'  torment  our 
noble  lawmakers,  a-tryin'  to  make  'em 
listen  to  their  silly  petitions  for  justice?  " 

In  conclusion,  he  entreated  'em  to  re 
member  that  the  eye  of  the  world  wuz 
on  'em,  expectin'  'em  to  be  loyal  to  the 
badgered  and  woman  endangered  sect 
abroad,  and  try  to  suggest  some  way  to 
stop  .them  woman's  disgraceful  doin's. 

Cyrenus  Presly  always  loves  to  talk, 
and  he  always  looks  on  the  dark  side  of 
things,  and  he  riz  up  and  said  "  he  didn't 
believe  nothin'  could  be  done,  for  by  all 
he'd  read  about  'em,  the  men  had  tried 
everything  possible  to  keep  wimmen 
down  where  they  ort  to  be,  they  had 
turned  deaf  ears  to  their  complaints, 
wouldn't  hear  one  word  they  said,  they 
had  tried  drivin'  and  draggin'  and  insults 
of  all  kinds,  and  breakin'  their  bones,  and 
imprisonment,  and  stuffin'  'em  with  rub- 


"The  Creation  Searchin'  Society"     183 

ber  tubes,  thrust  through  their  nose  down 
into  their  throats.  And  he  couldn't  think 
of  a  thing  more  that  could  be  done  by 
men,  and  keep  the  position  men  always 
had  held  as  wimmen's  gardeens  and  pro 
tectors,  and  he  said  he  thought  men 
might  jest  as  well  keep  still  and  let  'em 
go  on  and  bring  the  world  to  ruin,  for 
that  was  what  they  wuz  bound  to  do, 
and  they  couldn't  be  stopped  unless  they 
wuz  killed  off." 

Phileman  Huffstater  is  a  old  bachelder, 
and  hates  wimmen.  He  had  been  on  a 
drunk  and  looked  dretful,  tobacco  juice 
runnin'  down  his  face,  his  red  hair  all 
towsled  up,  and  his  clothes  stiff  with  dirt. 
He  wuzn't  invited,  but  had  come  of  his 
own  accord.  He  had  to  hang  onto  the 
seat  in  front  of  him  as  he  riz  up  and  said : 

"  He  believed  that  wuz  the  best  and 
only  way  out  on't,  for  men  to  rise  up 
and  kill  off  the  weaker  sect,  for  their 
wuzn't  never  no  trouble  of  any  name  or 


184  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

nater,  but  what  wimmen  wuz  to  the  bot 
tom  on't,  and  the  world  would  be  better 
off  without  'em."  But  Philander  scorfed 
at  him  and  reminded  him  that  such  hull- 
sale  doin's  would  put  an  end  to  the 
world's  bein'  populated  at  all." 

But  Phileman  said  in  a  hicuppin', 
maudlin  way  that  "  the  world  had  better 
stop,  if  there  had  got  to  be  such  doin's, 
wimmen  risin'  up  on  every  side,  and  pre- 
tendin'  to  be  equal  with  men." 

Here  his  knee  jints  kinder  gin  out 
under  him,  and  he  slid  down  onto  the  seat 
and  went  to  sleep. 

I  guess  the  members  wuz  kinder 
shamed  of  Phileman,  for  Lime  Peedick 
jumped  up  quick  as  scat  and  said,  "  It 
seemed  the  Englishmen  had  tried  most 
everything  else,  and  he  wondered  how  it 
would  work  if  them  militant  wimmen 
could  be  ketched  and  a  dose  of  sunthin' 
bitter  and  sickenin'  poured  down  'em. 
Every  time  they  broached  that  loathsome 


"The  Creation  Searchin'  Society"     185 

doctrine  of  equal  rights,  and  tried  to 
make  lawmakers  listen  to  their  petitions, 
jest  ketch  'em  and  pour  down  'em  a  big 
dose  of  wormwood  or  sunthin'  else  bitter 
and  sickenin',  and  he  guessed  they  would 
git  tired  on't." 

But  here  Josiah  jumped  up  quick  and 
said,  "  he  objected,"  he  said,  "  that  would 
endanger  the  right  wimmen  always  had, 
and  ort  to  have  of  cookin'  good  vittles 
for  men  and  doin'  their  housework,  and 
bearin'  and  bringin'  up  their  children, 
and  makin'  and  mendin'  and  waitin'  on 
'em.  He  said  nothin'  short  of  a  Gatlin 
gun  could  keep  Samantha  from  speakin' 
her  mind  about  such  things,  and  he 
wuzn't  willin'  to  have  her  made  sick  to 
the  stomach,  and  incapacitated  from 
cookin'  by  any  such  proceeding." 

The  members  argued  quite  awhile  on 
this  pint,  but  finally  come  round  to 
Josiah's  idees,  and  the  meetin'  for  a  few 
minutes  seemed  to  come  to  a  standstill, 


186  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

till  old  Cornelius  Snyder  got  up  slowly 
and  feebly.  He  has  spazzums  and  can't 
hardly  wobble.  His  wife  has  to  support 
him,  wash  and  dress  him,  and  take  care 
on  him  like  a  baby.  But  he  has  the  use 
of  his  tongue,  and  he  got  some  man  to 
bring  him  there,  and  he  leaned  heavy  on 
his  cane,  and  kinder  stiddied  himself  on 
it  and  offered  this  suggestion: 

"  Plow  would  it  do  to  tie  females  up 
when  they  got  to  thinkin'  they  wuz  equal 
to  men,  halter  'em,  rope  'em,  and  let  'em 
see  if  they  wuz? " 

But  this  idee  wuz  objected  to  for  the 
same  reason  Josiah  had  advanced,  as 
Philander  well  said,  "  wimmen  had  got  to 
go  foot  loose  in  order  to  do  the  house 
work  and  cookin'." 

Uncle  Sime  Bentley,  who  wuz  awful 
indignant,  said,  "  I  motion  that  men  shall 
take  away  all  the  rights  that  wimmen 
have  now,  turn  'em  out  of  the  meetin' 
house,  and  grange." 


'The  Creation  Searchin'  Society"     187 

But  before  he'd  hardly  got  the  words 
out  of  his  mouth,  seven  of  the  members 
riz  up  and  as  many  as  five  spoke  out  to 
once  with  different  exclamations: 

"That  won't  do!  we  can't  do  that! 
Who'll  do  all  the  work!  Who'll  git  up 
grange  banquets  and  rummage  sales,  and 
paper  and  paint  and  put  down  carpets 
in  the  meetin'  house,  and  git  up  socials 
and  entertainments  to  help  pay  the  min 
ister's  salary,  and  carry  on  the  Sunday 
School?  and  tend  to  its  picnics  and  sup 
pers,  and  take  care  of  the  children? 
We  can't  do  this,  much  as  we'd  love  to." 

One  horsey,  sporty  member,  also  under 
the  influence  of  liquor,  riz  up,  and  made 
a  feeble  motion,  "  Spozin'  we  give  wim- 
men  liberty  enough  to  work,  leave  'em 
hand  and  foot  loose,  and  sort  o'  muzzle 
'em  so  they  can't  talk." 

This  seemed  to  be  very  favorably  re 
ceived,  'specially  by  the  married  mem 
bers,  and  the  secretary  wuz  jest  about  to 


188  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

record  it  in  the  moments  as  a  scheme 
worth  tryin',  when  old  Doctor  Nugent 
got  up,  and  sez  in  a  firm,  decided  way: 

"  Wimmen  cannot  he  kept  from  talk 
ing  without  endangerin'  her  life;  as  a 
medical  expert  I  object  to  this  motion." 

"  How  would  you  put  the  objection? " 
sez  the  secretary. 

"  On  the  ground  of  cruelty  to  ani 
mals,"  sez  the  doctor. 

A  fat  Englishman  who  had  took 
the  widder  Shelmadine's  farm  on 
shares,  says,  "  I  'old  with  Brother 
Josiah  Hallen's  hargument.  As  the 
father  of  nine  young  children  and 
thirty  cows  to  milk  with  my  wife's  'elp, 
I  'old  she  musn't  be  kep'  from  work,  but 
h'l  propose  if  we  can't  do  anything  else 
that  a  card  of  sympathy  be  sent  to  hold 
Hengland  from  the  Creation  Searchin' 
Society  of  America,  tellin'  'em  'ow  our 
'earts  bleeds  for  the  men's  sufferin'  and 
'ardships  in  'avin'  to  leave  their  hoccupa- 


"The  Creation  Searchin'  Society"     189 

tions  to  beat  and  'aul  round  and  drive 
females  to  jails,  and  feed  'em  with  rub 
ber  hose  through  their  noses  to  keep  'em 
from  starvin'  to  death  for  what  they  call 
their  principles." 

This  motion  wuz  carried  unanimously. 

But  here  an  old  man,  who  had  jest 
dropped  in  and  who  wuz  kinder  deef  and 
slow-witted,  asked,  '  What  it  is  about 
anyway?  what  do  the  wimmen  ask  for 
when  they  are  pounded  and  jailed  and 
starved?" 

Hank  Yerden,  whose  wife  is  a  Suffra 
gist,  and  who  is  mistrusted  to  have  a 
leanin'  that  way  himself,  answered  him, 
"  Oh,  they  wanted  the  lawmakers  to  read 
their  petitions  asking  for  the  rights  of 
ordinary  citizens.  They  said  as  long  as 
their  property  wuz  taxed  they  had  the 
right  of  representation.  And  as  long  as 
the  law  punished  wimmen  equally  with 
men,  they  had  a  right  to  help  make  that 
law,  and  as  long  as  men  claimed  wim* 


190  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

men's  place  wuz  home,  they  wanted  the 
right  to  guard  that  home.  And  as  long 
as  they  brought  children  into  the  world 
they  wanted  the  right  to  protect  'em. 
And  when  the  lawmakers  wouldn't  hear 
a  word  they  said,  and  beat  'em  and  drove 
'em  round  and  jailed  'em,  they  got  mad 
as  hens,  and  are  actin'  like  furiation  and 
wild  cats.  But  claim  that  civil  rights  wuz 
never  give  to  any  class  without  warfare." 

"Heavens!  what  doin's!"  sez  old 
Zephaniah  Beezum,  "  what  is  the  world 
comin'  to!"  "Angle  worms  will  be  ris- 
in'  up  next  and  demandiri'  to  not  be 
trod  on."  Sez  he,  "  I  have  studied  the 
subject  on  every  side,  and  I  claim  the 
best  way  to  deal  with  them  militant 
females  is  to  banish  'em  to  some  barren 
wilderness,  some  foreign  desert  where 
they  can  meditate  on  their  crimes,  and 
not  bother  men." 

This  idee  wuz  received  favorably  by 
most  of  the  members,  but  others  differed 


"  The  Creation  Searchin'  Society  "     191 

and  showed  the  weak  p'ints  in  it,  and  it 
wuz  gin  up. 

Well,  at  ten  P.M.,  the  Creation  Search 
ers  gin  up  after  arguin'  pro  and  con,  con 
and  pro,  that  they  could  not  see  any  way 
out  of  the  matter,  they  could  not  tell 
what  to  do  with  the  wimmen  without 
danger  and  trouble  to  the  male  sect. 

They  looked  dretful  dejected  and  on- 
happy  as  they  come  to  this  conclusion, 
my  pardner  looked  as  if  he  wuz  most 
ready  to  bust  out  cryin'.  And  as  I 
looked  on  his  beloved  linement  I  forgot 
everything  else  and  onbeknown  to  me  I 
leaned  over  the  railin'  and  sez: 

"  Here  is  sunthin'  that  no  one  has 
seemed  to  think  on  at  home  or  abroad. 
How  would  it  work  to  stop  the  trouble 
by  givin'  the  wimmen  the  rights  they 
ask  for,  the  rights  of  any  other  citizen?  " 

I  don't  spoze  there  will  ever  be  such 
another  commotion  and  upheaval  in 
Jonesville  till  Michael  blows  his  last 


192  Samantha  on  the  Woman  Question 

trump  as  follered  my  speech.  Knowin' 
wimmen  wuz  kep'  from  the  meetin',  some 
on  'em  thought  it  wuz  a  voice  from  an 
other  spear.  Them  wuz  the  skairt  and 
horrow  struck  ones,  and  them  that 
thought  it  wuz  a  earthly  woman's  voice 
wuz  so  mad  that  they  wuz  by  the  side  of 
themselves  and  carried  on  fearful.  But 
when  they  searched  the  gallery  for  wirn- 
men  or  ghosts,  nothin'  wuz  found,  for 
Philander's  wife  and  I  had  scooted  acrost 
lots  arid  wuz  to  home  a-knittin'  before 
the  men  got  there. 

And  I  d'no  as  anybody  but  Philander 
to  this  day  knows  what,  or  who  it  wuz. 

And  I  d'no  as  my  idee  will  be  follered, 
but  I  believe  it  is  the  best  way  out  on't 
for  men  and  wimmen  both,  and  would 
stop  the  mad  doin's  of  the  English  Suffra 
gettes,  which  I  don't  approve  of,  no  in 
deed!  much  as  I  sympathize  with  the 
justice  of  their  cause. 

PRINTED   IN    THE    UNITED   STATES    OF    AMERICA 


14  DAY  USE 

RETURN  TO  DESK  FROM  WHICH  BORROWED 

LOAN  DEPT. 

RENEWALS  ONLY— TEL.  NO.  642-3405 
This  book  is  due  on  the  last  date  stamped  below,  or 

on  the  date  to  which  renewed. 
Renewed  books  are  subject  to  immediatcxrecalL 


ftr/VlS    t   rv       iifV    1 

ejvA      if  n  ft«             -f 

f        AtC  0  LD    WAT  t 

70  "U  AM 

FEB  1  ';  '        ' 

?£0|/Clfl    JUL31   »» 

„    ^  n7i" 

Q2  U  reft3 

1BBL  CWL  «B2^"^ 

APR  2  6  1977 

***•*.     a<     176 

f-4-HH              r»     1O  "7  "7 

JUN     9  1977 

STANFORD 

INTERLIBRARY  LOAh 

AUG  24  m» 

RIC.CIR.WJG  iU 

JMI-J    If:; 

<KL5Ds!^-08,04T6^032                     U-SSggJSnl. 

962323 


THE  UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY 


